The Conversation

The names in this fictional conversation are not the real names of any of the people involved. The story comes from an interview between the author, Jacob Meinershagen, and the interviewee who will be called Ed Williams.

Giovanni Battista Landini, The dialogue from wikipedia commons, [Public domain]. Copyright free.

Moderator: Hello, we are here to talk about the situation Mr. Williams has found himself in and why everything has happened how it has. So, Mr. Williams, could you please explain your situation for us, so we have a place to start in this conversation?

by stevepb, May 11 2015, via pixabay.com, April 8 2019

Ed Williams: Sure, I started at this company, in low ranks, in a store maintenance position and developed a preventative maintenance plan for all of the equipment in the store [13:00].  I brought my store from the bottom 5% of all the stores in the country to the 3rd in the country [12:30]. I got promoted to a regional manager position after a year at the district level, and my preventative maintenance plan was instated nationwide [13:58]. I was fired when the 2008 financial crisis came around and I felt that I was fired because I was older than the average worker in the lower ranks of the company [00:52] and that the company was getting rid of older people because they thought that they would provide resistance to changes in the company. I think that, based on my performance, I should not have been fired [14:18] and I was very frustrated that I had to lose my job going into such tough times. I needed to be able to support my family and job hunting in that economic downfall was nearly impossible. Not many places were hiring people in the types of positions I had been in because they had held on to those people and didn’t need more. I was worried about paying my bills.

Moderator: I understand that that must have been a very trying time for you Mr. Williams. Mr. Corp, what were the reasons that the company had for firing Mr. Edwards? Was it because he was older than you would like your employees to be? Were you worried about him not accepting new plans in the company?

by WilliamCho, Feb 12 2017, via pixabay.com, Apr 4 2019

Mr. Corp: Well, in 2006 we initiated a rollout of a new procedure system that we believed would be of benefit to the overall operation of the company. We told the members of our leadership staff that this rollout was likely to take a couple of years to come into full effect [9:55]. Mr. Williams was also not the only person that we laid off in that year, and it wasn’t just people of his age. We eliminated around 2,800 employees at his level of management as well as about 10,000 employees nationwide in the field service area [10:27]. The 2008 recession was also bad for us as a company. We never enjoy having to remove people’s positions in our company, but for us to keep the doors open, we had to make certain hard decisions. I have sympathy for Mr. Williams, and his concerns for taking care of his family, but I must keep in mind that had we kept every person that the company employed at the time the company would have gone out of business. Had the company gone under in the economic crisis of 2008, a lot more than just 12,800 people would have lost their jobs. As the saying goes, sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. We were acting in the best interests of our employees as a whole even though it may have been to the detriment of some.

by PublicDomainPictures, Apr 2 2011, via pixabay.com, Apr 8 2019

Ed Williams:   One thing you forgot to mention is that the employees you fired in 2008 had to leave with no notice [11:04]. That is even worse for them because they were likely convinced, like I was, that they were secure in their job. Then, they are told that they no longer have a job, without being given enough notice to create a plan for when they had to leave. Also, I had a good track record of work with the company. I had proven myself very capable [14:10]. While I will agree that not all of the people who were laid off were my age, there were also other instances of people who were older than average being put at a disadvantage.

Moderator: Mr. Williams, can you give us one of those instances of people who were older being put at a disadvantage?

Ed Williams:   Yes. The older managers and leaders who came into the company from other companies would be put into stores that were in the lower end of the ranks in terms of standards. This would provide a challenge for them to get the store into a position where it was meeting the proper standards. The older people often succeeded in turning these stores around and getting them up to par with the standards of the company.

by stevepb, Feb 25 2016, via pixabay.com, Apr 8 2019. Copy right free.

On the other hand, the people coming into the company that was young would be put into stores that were either new or were already in good shape and meeting the corporation’s standards [16:03]. This would sadly make it a lot easier for young people to look good. On top of that, once an older person would get their store turned around, they would not be rewarded but would be transferred to a different store with the same situation [17:06].

Moderator:      I see. It seems that you think that Mr. Corp intended for you to be discouraged so that you would leave the company. Based on what you said, it sounds like the company preferred the newer people and wanted to keep them around. Mr. Corp, is there any specific reason that you would put older people in tough situations?

Mr. Corp:        We held the belief that since these older people had such good standing coming into the company, that they would be able to put to use their experience to turn around some of the more difficult locations. Once they had done so, we knew that they could be trusted, and that they knew how to turn a store around and, therefore, would move them to another store with similar problems with the hopes that they could also do the same there. We would put the new, younger people in easy situations because we didn’t expect them to have a lot of experience. Because of this lack of experience, we were worried that if we put a young person in a difficult store, the store would have a higher chance of getting worse instead of better.

Moderator:      Mr. Williams, what do you think about this?

Ed Williams:   I don’t know, even if that is the case, why would the company not justly reward the older people who had turned around the stores when they sent them on to the next? Also, as I said earlier, I felt as if I had more than proven my worth with the company through all that I had accomplished. I feel like the company even acknowledged that through the promotions I received, and yet I was still fired when hard times came around. It seems to me that when the hard times come, a company would want to keep the workers who had proven themselves and were known to produce results. I don’t think, as you said Mr. Corp that the young people had proven their capabilities yet so I don’t get why you would have chosen them over people like me?

Moderator: It seems that, overall, our society has a bias towards younger people since we believe that they are much more willing to go through change than older people. However, this bias may not be a good one since putting older people in charge allows for more experience in the higher ranks of companies. We should all strive to find a good balance here and a way to include everyone based on their skills and talents rather than their attributes.

Works Cited

Williams, Edward. Personal interview. 25 February 2019.

Time Heals

It’s the best time of the year. The family has come together and we all are excited to celebrate Christmas. I can’t wait to see all of my cousins , aunts and uncles. During Christmas, I enjoy catching up with all of my favorite cousins and learning about all of the new things going on in their lives. We are all almost adults and will be graduating soon. A few of my cousins live in Georgia so it’s always exciting to see and spend time with them again. My cousin ZK , 17 years of age, is expecting a baby soon and we are all happy and excited to meet the new addition to the family. My cousins and I go ice skating every year on Christmas. This year is different because ZK won’t be able to participate. We decide to go anyway to not disrupt the tradition and she agrees to come and still enjoy our company. Here we are, skating, laughing and drinking hot cocoa just like old times. As we skate, I sneak a glimpse of ZK and notices that she’s not smiling and looks sad. So, my cousins and I decide to go talk with her a bit. I proceed to ask her what’s wrong and if she wants to talk about it.  ZK seemed to fake a smile and insist on being okay and not wanting to talk about (00:03). I knew something wasn’t right so I kept trying to get her to talk. She finally just started crying and said, “I don’t know how to talk about it,”(00:10). We all just hugged her and told her it’s okay and to let it out. We wanted her to feel safe and know that we are always here for her. ZK began to sob and say, “I just feel so left out and alone… things are so different.. And I’m already going through enough back home,”(00:20). I wanted to know what she was going through and how we could help. ZK says that, “back home it’s so uncomfortable for me. I get teased at school and I can’t even go anywhere without feeling like I’m being judged,”(00:30). My cousins and I felt so bad and didn’t know what to say. ZK says, “They said all kinds of things like, I’m too young to be having sex, I’m going to be a bad mother because I’m too young, and that I wouldn’t graduate.”(00:37) We all sat there devastated and tried to help ZK calm down as much as possible. We told her to not let these things bring her down and to stay positive. We offered suggestions on homeschooling, and ways that would help her feel comfortable. ZK only had one year left of school so she wanted to stay put and finish it out. We encouraged her to be brave and to not let the things the kids said affect her because we all know it’s not true and that’s all that matters. ZK slowly stopped crying and felt better because of our help(00:45). We asked ZK about her parents feelings towards her pregnancy. She said, “At first I thought they would hate me too, for getting pregnant before graduating, but, unexpectedly, they supported me. They gave me great advice on how to handle these situations, on how to stay positive and they made me feel safe. It really helped a lot knowing they still loved me the same and wasn’t mad at me,”(00:56). We told her that that’s all that matters. As long as your family is by your side, then the opinions of strangers don’t matter. After the talk, we decided to go home. We all knew that this tradition helped us get through a tough time, and we would never forget this Christmas.

Two years later…

ZK is doing amazing. She has more confidence and looks at things differently. We call each other often and I asked her if she was still facing challenges. She said, “The biggest challenge I still face is stereotypes among young, single mothers. I have to deal with people thinking I’m less of a mother because of my age and overall just having to prove to the world that I’m a great mother despite my age and it doesn’t matter how old I am. I love my son and would do anything in the world  for him. I go to work everyday to provide for him. I have my own home and car, and I make sure he goes to school, eats and is well taken cared of,”(05:10). I told her how much I admire her love for her son and how she proves not only to others, but to herself that she is a great mother. I asked her what did she learn from that situation in high school and how did it affect her today: she said, “If i had went to school and those kids didn’t bully me or make me uncomfortable, I feel like it would have made my pregnancy easier. I would have have had more confidence within myself and not have felt insecure every time I left out my house. I think they played a major role with my attitude towards the outside world during my pregnancy. Like I felt like everyone was out to judge me or look down on me so I never wanted to go out publicly. I sometimes didn’t want to post my son on social media because I knew people were judging me,”(06:25). She stated, “I just wish I could have experienced my senior year in a more positive way without being bullied, but I look at these things differently now. I think if I wouldn’t have gone through those tough times then I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today. I think that situation was a blessing in disguise. It made me strong, patient and motivated during my pregnancy. It taught me how not to let things affect me negatively, but to find the good in it. I think it helped me to be a better mother. Honestly, I look at it as fuel to keep me going,”(07:00). We both were able to laugh now about the situation and it didn’t seem to make ZK sad anymore. Instead she was able to talk about it now and let it all out. ZK learned that time heals all wounds…

Deonica Moore, Portrait of Zakori Wright, Kansas City, April
All rights reserved.
Deonica Moore, Portrait of Zakori Wright, Kansas City, April
All rights reserved.


Claire

The sunlight slips through the shutters of Claire’s bedroom. It is a frigid winter morning. The sky is clear and the sun is shining, but a bone chilling wind keeps the temperature just above freezing. Claire wakes up and walks to the bathroom. Her husband Joe is still asleep. She brushes her teeth and washes her face. She looks at her reflection in the mirror and wishes she looked different. A long and lonely wrinkle crossed her forehead revealing her age. She does her makeup and changes her clothes.

When she opens the door the frigid breeze rushes past her face. It feels sharp and makes her shiver. She rolls up her scarf and starts walking the dog down the block. Her neighbor is sitting outside as usual. She waves at him and mumbles a friendly “hello.” She always thought he was a very strange person. His wife had died many years ago, before Claire moved to the neighborhood. There were rumors about her death. That it was not an accident. That he went crazy because she wanted to leave him and he pushed her down the stairs. Claire keeps her distance and limits her interaction to a minimum. Just enough to be polite. She hurries her dog, Kara, so they can return to the warmth of the house. The wind is whooshing and Claire hates the cold. They return to the house at a fast pace. The radio is on and the smell of bacon is coming from the kitchen. Joe is up and preparing breakfast.

“Good morning babe. Are you ready to eat?” says Joe.

“Good morning. Yes, I’m starving.” replies Claire.  

“I’ll have the eggs ready in a minute. So, how was your walk? Is it cold out?” 

“Yes, it’s bitter cold and the wind is terrible. I don’t know why the sun even bothers anymore. Kara is so stubborn, she could be freezing her paws off but she refuses to come back before we complete our usual route.”

“You know how she is with you. You don’t walk with her as often as I do, that’s why she gets so excited.”

“I know, I know. I wouldn’t mind walking her more often, if the weather were nicer. I am going to make more coffee.”

“I cleaned the filter and put in more coffee already. You just need to add the water and turn it on.”

“Great. Thank you.”

After Joe leaves for work, Claire goes to her office and starts working on her computer. She works for a telecommunication company. She likes to work from home, it makes her feel comfortable. She thinks that working from home allows her to hide from her coworkers so that they can forget that she is overweight. Claire usually ignores these thoughts. Thoughts that do not correspond with her reality as a successful professional. Nevertheless, they are always present in the back of her mind. She reflects on her self-esteem every so often. About how she constructed her self-image. About all the times that people told her she needed to change. That she needed to be
different if she wanted to achieve her goals. About that agent in Florida who once told her she needed to lose weight to be an actor. That it was unacceptable for her to be overweight. Why could people not look at her beyond her appearance? Is society so blinded by vanity? Obsessed with the superficial, the superfluous and meaninglessness of the external? To the point of dehumanizing people and transforming them into living displays of acceptable looks? Why was she unacceptable? Who set the standard for women to be slim? The people who surrounded her and acted in a condescending way or treated her as if she had a disease; were they all just following the script that society set for overweight women? Her mind wonders about these thoughts as she works on her computer.

Dariusz Grosa , red and orange maple leaves on tree, from Pexels.

Winter passed. It is fall and the trees outside Claire’s house are beautifully colored. Bright yellow, red, and orange tones transform the landscape as autumn appears. Claire is working in her office as usual. The TV is on in the other room. She likes to leave it on for noise. It makes her feel that she is not alone when Joe is at work. The news is on the television. They are covering the Weinstein scandal, as new allegations of sexual harassment, assault, and rape are made public. Claire cannot focus, her social media is flooded with comments and stories, part of the #MeToo movement. Women across the nation are stepping out to tell their stories. Stories that involve men with power harassing women and participating in despicable behavior. She has been thinking a lot about it for the last couple of weeks. It is hard not to when the media is overloaded with such stories. Claire is a happily married woman. She has a good standing in life. A successful career. A lovely home. A husband who loves her. Friends and family who also love her. Everything is looking good for her. But beneath her seemingly happy life, something is burdening her.

Janice Butts, photograph of John, Shawnee KS, Spring 2019. All rights reserved.

After a while, she gets annoyed and turns the TV off. It disgusts her to keep hearing about those men. It makes her feel angry and upset. Her cat shows up and stares at her silently from across the room. His big feline eyes look directly into hers as if he knows that she is hiding something. It appears that he is looking for an unspoken truth behind her eyes. She looks at him and tears start to roll slowly down her cheeks. Something inside her has surfaced, something painful. She sits on the floor and cries aloud. Kara comes in and sits next to her, licking her face, trying to comfort her. Claire lays on the floor, now in silence. Kara lays with her. The voices of many women who were victims as she is resonating in her head. She feels compelled to face a painful memory that she has kept secret for many years.

Joe returns from work in the afternoon and finds Claire in bed. She is asleep. He approaches her and kisses her softly so as not to wake her up. He goes downstairs to the kitchen and Kara comes to welcome him. He pets her and enters the kitchen. The counter is messy and there are two empty wine bottles in the sink. He is surprised; it is not normal for Claire to leave a mess like that. There is a pan on the stove with two steaks in it. He checks the fridge and finds a big bowl of salad ready. He starts cleaning and cooking the steaks. The table is already set. Dinner is ready, so he goes to get Claire. He calls her gently, and tells her dinner is ready. She looks at him with a blank face.

“What’s wrong babe? Are you ok?” Asks Joe.

“Hi Joe. I am sorry I fell asleep. I had some wine and just felt tired.” Says Claire.

“Don’t worry about that. I took care of it. Is there something wrong? Do you want to talk about it?”

She reaches for him in a hug with her face in his chest and starts crying. He holds her and pats her back. He does not know what is happening. He is confused and scared.

“Claire, please. What’s wrong honey? What happened?”

“Joe. I’m sorry I just can’t stand it anymore. I have to tell you something.”

They have a long chat. Claire shares her story with him. It happened many years ago when she was 22. She was at a bar with friends and had argued with a man, who later followed her home and assaulted her. He was a young and very unpleasant man. Claire had responded to some rude comments that he made about her at the bar. Something happened in his mind that drove him to violence. Perhaps he felt empowered to do it. Maybe he felt that he needed to prove his control over her. No matter what the reason, it changed Claire’s life forever.

Janice Butts, painting untitled, Shawnee KS, 2016. All rights reserved.

She never reported it to the police. She did not talk about it with her parents or her friends or anybody. She felt so ashamed and scared. She felt that it was her fault. She carried it as a secret for 23 years. Now she was determined to report it to the police. She could not tolerate the thought that this man could be out there, still hurting women. Claire felt that this was a good moment for her to speak up. A movement was intensifying. Increasing momentum with every story, with every voice and Claire would become one of them.

“Joe, I want to report it.” Says Claire.

“If that is what you need to do. We will honey. I love you.” Answers Joe.

“Thank you. I love you too.”