April 2019 – From Us To Them

Islam and its Stereotypes

The interview I had with Omar Aldaei was enlightenment on a very personal level. During this interview, I was able to gather adequate information on the issue of religion. Moreover, I was able to get first hand information from the interviewee and create personal assumptions. In this essay, I will furthermore discuss the topics that we talked about in the interview and give personal insights in regards to the same.

In regards to what religion is, Omar said, “I think religion is a system of faith, and worship, where many people have subscribed to.” (03: 17) Personally, I agree with his explanation because people of different faiths subscribe to different religions and with time, they develop faith in this religion and begin to worship their idol. We also discussed the issue of Islam and whether Omar had a hand in how he became a Muslim. He was born in a family of Muslims and due to the belief of his family’s teachings, he decided to remain in the religion. “Since when I was young, all I have known about religion is Islam. My parents were born Muslims, my grandparents were Muslims, and the entire line of family were Muslims. I chose to stay in this religion because I believe in their teachings and because I think this is the only true religion.” (05: 30)

In my opinion, I believe most people continue believing in the religion they were brought up into and only a small percentage of individuals change their religion; mostly in their adult life.

In the interview, Omar talked about how he had begun figuring his Islamic religion from the tender age of thirteen. “I figured out what my religion entailed when I was thirteen. This is the time I had more questions about religion than answers, and I usually get religion advice from the Imam or from my parents. At that age, I saw what entails humanity, by seeing how religion helps the poor, and the suffering in the society, I surely wanted to be part of.”(07:00)

During this time, he had started questioning issues including religion which was directed to his family. He adds how he learned about humanity and the concept of helping the poor and the society at large and how he desired to be a part of it. I believe actions in religion are what either pull an individual closer or further away from said religion. In most cases, people want to be involved with a religion that “does the right things” and most of these are what attracts people in a religion. In the case of Omar, seeing that his religion did the right things made him want to be more involved. On the topic of misconception about the Islamic religion, Omar defines it as faith and not a place of ignorance or superstition. He also adds how religion has been there for thousands of years and will continue to be practiced. I also believe that religion is not a superstition but a practice done by people with a certain faith towards a certain idol.

On the issue of discrimination in the interview, Omar admitted being discriminated against and he also talked about how other Muslim individuals had faced the same. In his examples of scenarios of discrimination, Omar admitted to being labeled as a terrorist and people not wanting to be involved with him. Personally, I have also been treated as a terrorist on many occasions due to the fact that I am also a Muslim. Non-Muslims judge us based on our way of dressing which gives off an illusion of “a person we are not” and this creates difficult situations for Muslims. Omar also talked about being denied certain utilities and employment opportunities. It’s also evident that Muslims are sometimes denied access to clothes stores or jewelry stores because of the fear of bringing terror. Moreover, our dressing discourages us from getting employment opportunities due to false suspicions or due to the false fear non-Muslims have against Muslims. The problem with some intolerant non-Muslims is that they make assumptions that since the statistic of Muslims being involved with terrorism is higher than other religions, they pass the same judgment onto other innocent Muslims.

When I asked Omar about how the Islamic religion has impacted his life, he talked about the positive effect on issues such as his education, beliefs, principles, and character which was passed down from his parents and also how other people misjudge his religion when they believe Islam does not advocate for peace. Even with Omar explaining to non-Muslims how peaceful his religion is, he still feels how others misjudge his religion. This again boils down to how people believe that all Muslims are terrorists and with this fear, some of these non-Muslims have no faith that a Muslim can be peaceful. According to Omar, he believes the Islamic religion is the worship of the true god based on your beliefs, principles, topics with the end times, and what humanity entails. He also added how his religion made him freer in his daily activities. Personally, I believe every religion taken by an individual creates an environment of peace and the feeling of satisfaction hence Omar feeling freer in his religion. In addition, on the concept of Islam being a true religion, I believe every religion comes with its principles and truths which is what constitutes to a religion.

In relation to what religion felt close to Islamic, Omar talked about Christianity and how stories in the Bible and Quran are similar. I have also felt that Muslims and Christians have a similar history and both religions seem to have a few beliefs and principles in common. Omar believed that religion was the only way to live in a conflict-free environment and in harmony with different people from different religions. This may be true, but excluding everything else can be hard to keep people in harmony. This is because a sizeable percentage of individuals do not believe in any religion which means that if we were to only use religion to create a livable environment, some people would not want to be a part of it and there would be no continuous peace from all humanity.

In the interview, I decided to ask Omar what would lead me into his religion despite me being a part of it. He answered by saying his religion had good teachings and beliefs which from a personal level, I would agree to. I believe that this religion is as wonderful as other religions out there, and no religion is better than the other despite the beliefs. Despite the many beliefs portrayed and practiced by different religions, I believe that everyone should be engaged in a religion where they feel comfortable and that their beliefs can be of benefit to their lives. According to Omar, he grew up only knowing the Islamic religion which is what has led him to be comfortable with the religion based on its principles such as when he talked about how as a thirteen-year-old, he witnessed how his religion helped the poor. As stated before, religion is not only an institution but also what actions are depicted by its followers. Ethically, we can all differentiate from what is wrong and right. If a person believes a certain action is wrong in a religion, they are most likely not to be involved; however, if the person does not have any moral standards or beliefs, he/she can get involved with any religion. In the case of the Islamic religion, there is the belief of peace, helping the poor and being kind. This religion also follows strict rules based on morals and this is what creates a livable environment among the believers. However, I believe everyone has the opportunity to choose a suitable religion for themselves.

Fictional Narrative

Sitting down on the copious garden bench, I could tell from his body posture that he was trying to compose himself for the forthcoming event. The sun brightly shone, but the pedunculate oak tree was keeping us from direct exposure. As Hussain sat with his legs crossed and his mind open to my questions, he recalled his past experiences and all the troubles he has faced up to this point in his life. When I appreciated him for making it to the conversation and then introduced him to the topic of the day, he nodded his head and uttered, “I am honored to be here. At least I can clear things out to my fellow Muslim brothers who live hiding away from themselves.” He spoke with so much confidence; that of someone who has undergone a process a hundred times if not a thousand and is now sufficiently confident about every tiny detail that is entailed in the whole process. As his eyes grew stale and his mind wandered off into a long past world, he slowly recollected how his sex life has evolved.

Hussain gets the desire to quench his thirst which could have resulted from the direct questions that he had encountered and that were also yet to come (3:25). So I present him with a bottle full of water and he sips a big gulp. He then confidently says his age, which is 23 years, and that he is a male who is a Muslim by faith who goes to the mosque to pray and he is currently in a gay relationship. Hussain is originally from UAE, but he is now a legal US citizen which he attained with the help of his partner who directed him on the correct offices to visit and procedures to undertake. On the relationship status of him and his partner, Hussain says, “We are planning for a long term relationship that probably will lead to our marriage. It has been a difficult journey to reach where we are. We love one another and I hope everything will turn out right.”

Hussain discovered that he was gay at a very tender age. He can vividly remember that he was depressed and could not find himself in a position to talk much, so he spent most of his time in his room when he was in his 5^th grade. This is understandable when someone, especially a young boy, notices that the society is not in appreciation of his own interest and therefore always tends to take refuge in his private company, away from anyone. Hussain started to notice some differences in himself and his normalcy. He was gradually learning to stay away from his old male friends, and he was no longer enjoying their company and their endless stories. On the contrary, he could admire what the girls were doing and could find himself getting drawn to them. Back at home, he had started hating the boy gifts that his dad could bring him every time he had a visit. Since her mum never wanted his only boy to tarnish her name in any way, he had always promised to get him a cute outfit every time he performed well in his class. Hussain had never failed to impress his mother because he was still the top; if not, the second best. During this time, he had topped and therefore, as usual, his mom had to get him the newest outfit in town. However, this time something strange and weird happened; he did not like it despite how elegant it looked, but he never shared this with anyone.

I am now almost at the peak of the conversation, and it continues to get better and better. I needed to know about the chronological timings, how long Hussain had been aware of his sexual orientation. Hussain said, “Okay, to realize that I was not the same as boys of my age [which implies noticing he was gay], I was 12 years old. However, to be involved in a gay relationship I was about 16 years old.” Noticing that that was a very tender age, there was no way he could have managed that by himself, there must have been someone who helped him out. And sure enough, the first person who introduced Hussain to his first gay relationship was his high school teacher. Mr. Omar, Hussain’s Math teacher, called him and asked if he could join him in his office for a talk. Previously, they had done a surprise test, and he did not feel comfortable with it, so he was certain that he was five minutes away from being scolded due to poor performance. But to his surprise, he was astonished by what the teacher had prepared for him. The teacher told him that he had keenly noted that he was different from other students and that he was also hiding from who he was. This left Hussain mouth wide open; he could not believe his ears. Did that come from his Mathematics teacher whom they never had anything in common apart from a lecture? He did not have a comeback to that, so the best option was to storm out of the office. However, the teacher was not the type to accept defeat; he called him yet again after two weeks and asked if he ever thought about what they talked about in their last meeting. This was ironic because it was a one-way traffic conversation, and whatever that was, it was nowhere near a meeting. But Hussain gave in with one condition: they were not to carry the conversation in school. So, the teacher quickly asked, “can you make time tomorrow and we meet in town?” Hussain accepted, and they met where he opened up about everything and that was the very first person that he ever told about his sexual realm, and also became the first person who introduced him to his first gay relationship.

“Personally, I encountered extensive prejudice and discrimination back at home in the UAE because of my sexual orientation. Given the fact that gay relationships in the UAE are not widely known and considered evil in society, I could not manage coming out or even exhibiting any sign of being in a same-sex relationship. Here in the US, it is an open society; however, there is severe antigay prejudice including verbal harassment.” This was the reply that Hussain gave when I asked him what role prejudice and discrimination played in his life as a gay person. He could very well remember one Friday evening when he had just come out of a bar that goes by the name Bistro 303. Taking just a few steps, certain individuals severely insulted them claiming that they were agents of Satan and that they were mutilating the society.

Standing up and taking a few steps around the bench, his height could now be revealed as opposed to when he was seated. He bit his right thumbnail and said, “Actually, prejudice and discrimination have a wide range of impacts, including social and personal impact. This is reflected in everyday stereotypes that are persistent within the society. Gays are limited to job opportunities, parenting as well as relationship recognition are justified by stereotypic assumptions about gays.” I could tell from his facial expression and body movement that he felt that sink in him. However, his face could change like a switch because when I introduced a topic on family, his face lit up and he put on a smile. He said, “…I am a big fan of family and having children is one of my future obligations. I think we will talk about it with my partner. Our relationship is two years old and we are taking things slow. When the time comes, possibly after our marriage, is when we will have children.” From his face, you could see determination and hope. I thanked Hussain for his time and I joined him in standing as we shook hands and bid goodbye to one another (30:45).

Learning Love and Acceptance

Maya Baughn, Entry way to Mid-Continent Public Library -North Independence Branch where the interview was conducted, February 2019, All rights reserved.

On the day of my interview with Alex, the sky was gloomy, and it was raining. The library was framed in grey which made the pale yellow stand out. During our interview, I kept remembering how he used to be when we first met. His story touched my heart, and I realized how little I knew about gender identity and sexuality. Being a firm believer in education, Alex explained a lot of things to me and having that information compelled me to spread awareness too.

Alex has been my friend since eighth grade. I remember when he still used his dead name and tried dating girls to express how he felt. He had long dirty blonde hair with blue streaks that framed his face because of his middle part. For Alex, the indifference he experienced stemmed from his gender identity, not his sexuality, so no matter how many girls he dated there was still a chasm which needed to be filled. He wouldn’t find out until we were juniors in high school what filling that chasm truly meant to him, he wanted to be loved and accepted like anyone in high school does. However, when Alex found a way to express his true self (when he gained the knowledge to describe what he’d been going through since childhood) most people turned him into a joke. The change did not come easily – I can still hear how others taunted him when I think about walking down the main hallway of our high school. Insults echo over the chatter and background noise; I can’t imagine how loudly the insults echo in Alex’s mind. Alex chose to plant himself and grow where very few people loved and accepted him.

Maya Baughn, One of Alex’s favorite photos of himself taken at his home before the interview, February 2019, All rights reserved.

When I asked Alex his biggest challenge growing up, he explained, “I didn’t fit in with the guys because obviously, I was a girl so it was like ah I belong with the boys but they don’t want me.” (01:31) It’s as if children are seeds, all different shapes and sizes, with the potential to grow into anything, yet they’re still categorized based on their gender. His family held tight to this notion that an individual must be one or the other; boy or girl. So, growing up, when all the girls would gather to play, Alex would join them even though he longed to be with the boys. Boys did the things Alex liked doing too, but they were unaccepting which left Alex alone most of the time. For quite a long time Alex didn’t know he was meant to be male, he just thought he was a tomboy.

In our senior year, Alex and I took a creative writing class for dual credit. It was the first class we had together since sophomore year, and the distance between us was clear. Regardless, I noticed him and talked with him to bridge the gap. He didn’t wear all the negative things he’d been through like I expected, he just remained kind and understanding of all my questions. Transgender, this is who Alex is, but it is not everything Alex is. When he learned about his gender so much of his life was explained. Long hair, a high-pitched voice, and a soft chest weren’t suited to him, but they weren’t things he could easily change. So, I asked “how does your gender impact your everyday life?” in order to understand all the effort he puts into expressing himself (04:07). Every day Alex puts a decent chunk of time into presenting himself a certain way to be perceived as male. The long hair was cut short, he made his voice deeper, and his soft chest was compressed by a binder. All these things helped him gain some confidence in himself; however, confidence is only part of the battle. Depending on the place Alex must decide which restroom to use during his transition. He explained, “At work and certain places I’ll go into the men’s room because ya know that’s where I belong but in places like high school I would go into the women’s restroom because it wasn’t safe.” (04:51) Being transgender has an unnatural number of challenges Alex faces every day, the biggest of which being the unacceptance from peers and other individuals.

Body dysphoria plays a huge role in how Alex feels about himself. The disease does not treat him well, it makes him extremely uncomfortable with his body unless he’s made himself look, act, and sound more manly. He discussed overcoming this feeling as learning “dysphoria is not self-hate, it is not that I hate my body, it’s just that it doesn’t fit me.” (21:48) Alex has prevailed through some of his dysphoria and the anxiety that manifests with it because he knows he can be healthy and be himself. One day, to help himself with the processing of overcoming, he explored the men’s restroom at Independence Center. This was finally his chance to use the restroom he was meant to use. At first, it was great; he went in feeling triumphant, and he was well on his way to blossoming into his true self. Two big, brute fellas in flannels and cowboy boots stopped Alex as he exited the bathroom stall. Alex felt terrified, yet he reminded himself to remain calm. After all, he had just started growing to accept himself and had finally figured out what eases his mind. These men were mean, and scary. They pushed Alex down, forcing him onto a cold, dirty bathroom floor, making him feel horrible and incredibly unaccepted. Alex remembers the situation as the men “beat me to a pulp almost. . . they called me a tranny and more disgusting words after they beat me up because I wasn’t like a guy. I wasn’t a cis man.” (07:55) Some people tried to help, they thought Alex should go to the hospital to make sure he wasn’t severely hurt or physically broken. Alex didn’t go, he wanted to pretend that the whole incident never happened.

Later, Alex was at work when he finally passed out because of all the trauma he had suffered. He didn’t open up to anyone about what happened though until all the wounds had fully healed. There came a day, almost two years later, when Alex had to write a creative nonfiction piece for the creative writing class we took together. This piece was going to be his way to finally talk about what happened, and it would expose the horrors he experienced while just trying to be true to himself. First, he proposed the idea to all his new friends, the ones he had made through work that loved and accepted him for his true self. Before this, they had no idea about his experience, and when they found out they were upset they didn’t know sooner. His friends gave him the love he needed to finish healing and grow into a beautiful person. Exactly the kind of person he was meant to be. From his experience, Alex has acquired the courage to tell his story, stand up for himself more, and to even stand up for others.

Alex and I have come a long way in the last six years. He made it clear during the interview that he has learned a lot of things he wants to pass on to help people accept what they do not understand. Education can transform how everyone thinks and it is an important tool. The final questions I asked Alex dealt with what he wants others to know about the transgender community and how people could be more tolerant. A key component of tolerance is recognizing that transgender individuals are valid and real. He said, “Mostly just by talking about it [gender identity], that would erase a lot of fear.” (29:49)

Tradition & Progress

Mandy (middle) and her children, (from left) Bobby, Alison, and Brittany, 2017 (All Rights Reserved)

This is a series of personal entries and a letter creatively formulated from an interview with Mandy Martinez. This series is an attempt to humanize the little girl who was robbed of her first love, the teenager who wanted to be understood, and the woman who was strong enough to be herself. The last entry is entirely non-fiction, as I pulled it from my very own journal.

March 1989

Dear Diary,

Today in class we learned about genealogy. The teacher asked us to make a family tree. I learned that I am Hispanic, French, and Moroccan It was easy to fill in the branches closest to me: my mom, Michele, my dad, Armando, my mimi, Lucienne, my papa, Bill. I had to ask my mom about our family, to assist me in filling in the branches that extended past my immediate family. Then the teacher told us to predict our futures. We were supposed to add a page of branches dedicated to our future family. I looked at my mom’s name, my grandma’s, and my great grandma’s; the boxes framing their names were connected to their husbands. It felt weird making up my husband’s name, and not because I am only eleven and I shouldn’t be considering marriage, but because I never pictured having a husband. But what else would I put in that little blank spot next to my name? I decided not to write anything. Ambra was sitting next to me while we made the family trees. She wrote, “whoever I fall in love with” in the box. I like that. I like her too. We became friends today.

Goodnight,

Mandy M.

April 1989

Dear Diary,

Ambra and I ate lunch together every day for the past month. She always gives me her Jell-O Pudding Pops and I always give her half of my turkey sandwich. I like her a lot. She has pretty, blue eyes and dark hair. She has become my best friend. She tells me I am the best girl friend. I wonder if she has any other friends that are girls? Am I really the best? I hope so. I want her to stay my best friend for a long time. She walks me home every day. Ambra’s mom lets her because she lives on base too, not far from me. Speaking of moms, mine is driving me nuts. She tells me I spend too much time with Ambra. Wasn’t she just encouraging me to make more friends that live on the military base? She says my compliments are inappropriate. She won’t even let her spend the night like my other friends do. Geez, I don’t know why she is so scared of Ambra. It’s not like she is a bad influence. The only way I can remain Ambra’s best girl friend, is to keep it a secret from my mom. And that’s just what this diary is for: keeping secrets.

Signing off. I hope Ambra brings a vanilla pudding pop tomorrow.

Mandy M.

May 1989

Mandy, her sister, Tammy (middle), and their mother, Michele attending Pridefest, 2016 (All Rights Reserved)

I have a confession- one I can only tap onto my typewriter. I did a terrible thing. My big sister, Mandy, didn’t deserve to be punished. I did. I talked back to the teacher in class today and the teacher called my parents. Beads of sweat trailed down my face as I neared the front door. I didn’t know what to expect, a spanking? No, mom would find a punishment that was fitting for the crime, like soap in the mouth to wash out my back-talking. I hate the taste of that blue oily soap. And drinking water only makes it worse. When I walked through the front door, mom was sitting on the couch waiting. Mandy was behind me, my protector. She ran upstairs before she could get caught in the middle of my mother’s rampage. She yelled at me for a second, telling me how much I embarrassed her for disrespecting a teacher. What would all the mothers on the military base think when my peers hinted towards my rebellion to their parents? She likes to remind me about how much they gossip about the bad kids at church. Then what would the others at church think? I was afraid of getting grounded and losing my whole weekend over talking back to the teacher, so I said it. I said the one thing I knew would take the attention away from myself… I told her Mandy was gay. How do I know she’s gay? I saw her kiss Ambra at school. On the lips! Mom’s fury was no longer aimed towards me. I placed it promptly onto Mandy. I’m so sorry, Mandy. I didn’t know she would whip out the belt.

Sincerely,

Tammy M., Mandy’s sister

January 1994

Entry #217

What a weird couple of months. First, I see Mandy with her boyfriend, Enrique, and figured she would only ever just be a friend to me. Another straight girl. Then when I talk to her in Sophomore Spanish class, she laughs off their relationship like they are just friends. “I don’t really like-like Enrique. I mean he’s cool, but he’s just not the person I want.” Those were her exact words. I could tell she got giggly and happy towards me, so I finally considered the possibility that she may be into me. I went for it and asked her on a date. We grubbed on In & Out, listened to the new Nine Inch Nails CD, and I even planted a kiss on her cheek. Not bad for a first date. We spent two whole months together before she let me even see where she lived. She told me she was afraid her parents wouldn’t approve. The word she always uses to describe them is “traditional.” Well, she was right, I think. Mandy promised me she would talk to her mom about us so I wouldn’t be a secret anymore. That was the last time we spoke. I tried talking to her at school, but she changed her classes. I tried to call her, but the line never rang more than twice. I guess that’s the end of that.

With a broken heart,

Tina K., Mandy’s second love

Dear Father John,

Mandy and her mother, Michele (left), attending Pridefest, 2016 (All Rights Reserved)

It has been brought to my attention that my sixteen-year-old daughter was having an inappropriate relationship with another female. The person my daughter is infatuated with wears raggedy dark clothing, has a choppy haircut, and is, worst of all, a woman. I am sure you have dealt with blasphemous over-sexualized youths in your program much worse than my Mandy. I think she may need some guidance, if this phase of hers continues. I would like you to teach her the proper way of life; the traditional life with a husband and children. Mandy wants to be a nurse; she wants to help people. That proves she is a good person despite her sinful desires. I have done my research and have come upon a conversion program you are holding in the summer. I am interested in registering my Mandy this upcoming summer, if she doesn’t change her ways immediately. I want to be a grandmother. I want my daughter to feel whole! I trust you to guide her away from the alternative lifestyle I fear she may want to live.

In the name of tradition and The Holy Spirit,

Michele M., Mandy’s mother

June 2003

Dear diary,

Mandy and her family at Pridefest, 2018 (All Rights Reserved)

I haven’t written in this old thing in years, but I feel as if writing will give me some form of therapy. I think I am finally ready to leave Robert. He is a good man, an amazing man. He is a perfect father to my three children, and I will always love him, but something is missing. Something has always been missing. I have sacrificed my true self to satisfy my mother, my husband, and my children. I am a fucking adult. My mother cannot run my life or threaten to send me to a conversion camp. I know my kids will be hurt by the separation, but my oldest, Brittany, is six years old. I have time to help her understand as she ages. All of them. They will understand because they love me. I am a lesbian. It feels so refreshing to write. The ink is dry upon the page and my words have meaning. I am going to leave Robert tonight. My kids will forgive me, right? What if they hate me for dragging them into an alternative lifestyle? Now I sound like my mother.

I can do this.

Mandy M.

July 2015

Mandy, her wife, Angel (left), and her children, Bobby, Alison, and Brittany, 2018 (All Rights Reserved)

Hey, journal. It’s Alison again. Who else would it be? Whatever. I just got home from Pridefest with my family. We all got decked out in rainbows and had so much fun. Mom and I saw our favorite drag queen perform! Pride is my favorite family tradition. Everyone is so inclusive and fabulous! After Pride, mom and her girlfriend, Angel, took us to Steak N’ Shake for the perfect burgers. While we were all sitting in the squeaky booths, scarfing down our burgers, I noticed my mother’s smile. It was a certain smile that is only possessed in the genuine haze of late-night diner food. It was a smile I recognize, for it portrayed her happiness in that moment. The genuine gleam to her grin makes me grin, because I know my mom is happy. My grandma called mom after she saw the pictures my mom posted on Facebook from Pride. She asked if she could join us next year. Progress.

Love,

Alison K, Mandy’s daughter

The Conversation

The names in this fictional conversation are not the real names of any of the people involved. The story comes from an interview between the author, Jacob Meinershagen, and the interviewee who will be called Ed Williams.

Giovanni Battista Landini, The dialogue from wikipedia commons, *[Public domain].* Copyright free.

Moderator: Hello, we are here to talk about the situation Mr. Williams has found himself in and why everything has happened how it has. So, Mr. Williams, could you please explain your situation for us, so we have a place to start in this conversation?

by stevepb, May 11 2015, via pixabay.com, April 8 2019

Ed Williams: Sure, I started at this company, in low ranks, in a store maintenance position and developed a preventative maintenance plan for all of the equipment in the store [13:00]. I brought my store from the bottom 5% of all the stores in the country to the 3^rd in the country [12:30]. I got promoted to a regional manager position after a year at the district level, and my preventative maintenance plan was instated nationwide [13:58]. I was fired when the 2008 financial crisis came around and I felt that I was fired because I was older than the average worker in the lower ranks of the company [00:52] and that the company was getting rid of older people because they thought that they would provide resistance to changes in the company. I think that, based on my performance, I should not have been fired [14:18] and I was very frustrated that I had to lose my job going into such tough times. I needed to be able to support my family and job hunting in that economic downfall was nearly impossible. Not many places were hiring people in the types of positions I had been in because they had held on to those people and didn’t need more. I was worried about paying my bills.

Moderator: I understand that that must have been a very trying time for you Mr. Williams. Mr. Corp, what were the reasons that the company had for firing Mr. Edwards? Was it because he was older than you would like your employees to be? Were you worried about him not accepting new plans in the company?

by WilliamCho, Feb 12 2017, via pixabay.com, Apr 4 2019

Mr. Corp: Well, in 2006 we initiated a rollout of a new procedure system that we believed would be of benefit to the overall operation of the company. We told the members of our leadership staff that this rollout was likely to take a couple of years to come into full effect [9:55]. Mr. Williams was also not the only person that we laid off in that year, and it wasn’t just people of his age. We eliminated around 2,800 employees at his level of management as well as about 10,000 employees nationwide in the field service area [10:27]. The 2008 recession was also bad for us as a company. We never enjoy having to remove people’s positions in our company, but for us to keep the doors open, we had to make certain hard decisions. I have sympathy for Mr. Williams, and his concerns for taking care of his family, but I must keep in mind that had we kept every person that the company employed at the time the company would have gone out of business. Had the company gone under in the economic crisis of 2008, a lot more than just 12,800 people would have lost their jobs. As the saying goes, sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. We were acting in the best interests of our employees as a whole even though it may have been to the detriment of some.

by PublicDomainPictures, Apr 2 2011, via pixabay.com, Apr 8 2019

Ed Williams: One thing you forgot to mention is that the employees you fired in 2008 had to leave with no notice [11:04]. That is even worse for them because they were likely convinced, like I was, that they were secure in their job. Then, they are told that they no longer have a job, without being given enough notice to create a plan for when they had to leave. Also, I had a good track record of work with the company. I had proven myself very capable [14:10]. While I will agree that not all of the people who were laid off were my age, there were also other instances of people who were older than average being put at a disadvantage.

Moderator: Mr. Williams, can you give us one of those instances of people who were older being put at a disadvantage?

Ed Williams: Yes. The older managers and leaders who came into the company from other companies would be put into stores that were in the lower end of the ranks in terms of standards. This would provide a challenge for them to get the store into a position where it was meeting the proper standards. The older people often succeeded in turning these stores around and getting them up to par with the standards of the company.

by stevepb, Feb 25 2016, via pixabay.com, Apr 8 2019. Copy right free.

On the other hand, the people coming into the company that was young would be put into stores that were either new or were already in good shape and meeting the corporation’s standards [16:03]. This would sadly make it a lot easier for young people to look good. On top of that, once an older person would get their store turned around, they would not be rewarded but would be transferred to a different store with the same situation [17:06].

Moderator: I see. It seems that you think that Mr. Corp intended for you to be discouraged so that you would leave the company. Based on what you said, it sounds like the company preferred the newer people and wanted to keep them around. Mr. Corp, is there any specific reason that you would put older people in tough situations?

Mr. Corp: We held the belief that since these older people had such good standing coming into the company, that they would be able to put to use their experience to turn around some of the more difficult locations. Once they had done so, we knew that they could be trusted, and that they knew how to turn a store around and, therefore, would move them to another store with similar problems with the hopes that they could also do the same there. We would put the new, younger people in easy situations because we didn’t expect them to have a lot of experience. Because of this lack of experience, we were worried that if we put a young person in a difficult store, the store would have a higher chance of getting worse instead of better.

Moderator: Mr. Williams, what do you think about this?

Ed Williams: I don’t know, even if that is the case, why would the company not justly reward the older people who had turned around the stores when they sent them on to the next? Also, as I said earlier, I felt as if I had more than proven my worth with the company through all that I had accomplished. I feel like the company even acknowledged that through the promotions I received, and yet I was still fired when hard times came around. It seems to me that when the hard times come, a company would want to keep the workers who had proven themselves and were known to produce results. I don’t think, as you said Mr. Corp that the young people had proven their capabilities yet so I don’t get why you would have chosen them over people like me?

Moderator: It seems that, overall, our society has a bias towards younger people since we believe that they are much more willing to go through change than older people. However, this bias may not be a good one since putting older people in charge allows for more experience in the higher ranks of companies. We should all strive to find a good balance here and a way to include everyone based on their skills and talents rather than their attributes.

Works Cited

Williams, Edward. Personal interview. 25 February 2019.

Different Beans, Same Pot

They speak in tongues

Who’s to refuse them a taste of the basin we’re drinking from?

A flock of birds who know the worth of unbound beaks

and the soft soil that grows when the sun kisses its cheek

American dream

So close so far

yet those with the greatest reach can’t get no sleep, worlds apart

We flee the phoenixes when they’re just trying to reach the stars

Someday we’ll fly together

But tonight we’ll have to brave this weather

But it won’t last forever

So let us pray for the better

Maybe it’s the beat of unfamiliar drums

You can’t find something to eat

we don’t have enough

we profess answers to questions yet we never turn our heads when our cheek is struck

They are just as much as we

Seeking asylum from the violence

The plight of flying kites to counter pilots, nevermind it

We all bleed as one, tomorrow we may see the sun

We all different beans in the same pot

Blowing steam and licking fingers clean

Different seams in the same tapestry

Extended family

It’s time to forget the language of anguish

Tomorrow’s a new canvas it’s time to paint it

Tomorrow’s a new canvas let’s paint it

Oh, the morrow’s a new canvas let’s paint it

I believe some of the most effective of music and poetry are the simplest yet the most emotionally charged. I aimed to embody a certain feeling of uncertainty, confusion, and hope without the use of convoluted music or literary devices. A 2 5 1 chord progression paired with a soft rhyme is what I thought would work the best for what I aimed to achieve.

This is a poem representing the relationship between immigrants and those who are afraid of them and/or are apprehensive to the idea of people different to them. The poem focuses on the the misunderstandings and fears that xenophobes hold in their heart, the fear that keeps them blinded from the fact that immigrants are struggling to survive in this world, just like them. The perspective isn’t concrete because I want to emphasize that there is no “we and them”, we are all in the same. The lines surrounding perspective become blurred until there is no distinction between immigrant and non-immigrant.

The first part of the poem compares immigrants to flocking birds, all who appreciate the soil, water and the freedom of unbound beaks in the new land they’re in. I was inspired by my interview partner because her family came to the United States to escape the authoritarian government of China. The poem then focuses more on the natives, Americans in this case. The American dream is best reached by those who are already citizens of the United States, yet they’re constantly bothered, irritated and even angered by immigrants.They might even feel threatened, as though the immigrants could diminish their quality of life and keeping them from living the true American dream of prosperity and harmony. These groups of people “flee the phoenixes” out of fear, unaware that the immigrants are the phoenixes, which are harbingers of happiness and symbols of unity in Chinese folklore. The perspective changes to the xenophobes and the hypocrisy of their actions, especially since the United States is predominantly Christian yet the ideals of Christianity are often twisted to suit personal vendettas as opposed to loving thy neighbor and treating others with compassion. The last part of the poem connects the idea of unity. Unity was unattainable in the first stanza of the poem because the fearful natives “flee the phoenixes”. However, by comparing everyone in the world as different beans in the same pot, an attempt of unity is made. We’re all so varied in our outward appearance and in the texture on the inside, which makes each one of our souls, if you will, unique. We all have our low moments of anger and greed because we’re all human. But it’s time to put all the misery and hate behind us and start a new canvas. A new canvas that waits for the first brush of tomorrow. That is what the stanza hopes for. It no longer embodies any one group of people, but rather the emotion of hope.

Originally I had written the music to accompany this poem with a lot of Chinese influence, which would be carried out by the cello. However, I couldn’t properly record the cello with the appropriate microphone so the sound would end up being very harsh. So I instead opted for a much more repetitive and simple tune using just my voice and the guitar. I first felt as though I had done my interview partner a great injustice. Where would she and her story be in this poem? Besides the reference to the Chinese phoenix, was she forgotten? Of course not. Instead of putting her in the music, I put her in the poem itself. She wears a very young and jubilant demeanor, one that dazzles with optimism and hope. So I wrote the second stanza with her in mind. In that stanza I married the idea for a better future regarding immigrants and nonimmigrants with her sense of optimism. That’s what she gave this poem.

Society’s Perception of Bisexuality

Mendez being photographed for her successful presidency at the University of Oregon Senate.

Artist’s Statement

It is important to know the context of Montse Mendez’ story in order to better relate and understand the lyrics of this song. My sister and interviewee, Montse, has many marginalized identities including being Mexican, a woman, and bisexual. Although Montse’s other identities also affect her in everyday life, the focus of this song is the way Montse has been treated because of her bisexuality. The first verse begins providing a little bit of context of her specific incident. This is where I address Montse’s coming out story, and the fear and confusion she felt then. She shared with me that when she was first coming out to people she felt “vulnerable and scared” (11:24), and that she did not know how people would think about her.

I felt like this was important to add because it shows that her self esteem was not in a good place prior to the incident. The pre-chorus and chorus then begin describing the specific incident, which took place on tinder with a man that Montse matched with. Montse was beginning to embrace her identity more and openly shared her sexuality with this man. The man’s first reaction was to say ,“That’s hot. Can you teach me how to make my girlfriend cum?” as an opening line. This overtly sexual approach is not only rude, but also offensive. The label “bisexual” seems to have a deep effect on society’s perception on the person. Instead of focusing on any other aspect of that person, they are immediately sexualized even though, just like a straight person, they have other attributes. I chose to use the chorus as a way to explain my perspective on bisexuality and how it is simply about who people feel romantic love towards. Since everyone feels romantic love, I hope that this humanizes bisexual people to those who hypersexualize them and can relate better to how they feel. Harmonically speaking, I picked a minor key in order to match the serious tone of the subject. I also picked chords with some notes that clash and may sound “crunchy” to go with this mood, and also match the contemporary style that most artists use today.

Song Lyrics

Chorus 1
eb 9
Bisexuality isn’t a pornographic movie (13:31)
Gb maj 7
It’s not a trend, or a mental disability
B maj 7
My sexuality isn’t about you, or how to make your girlfriend come (11:24)
Bb 7
It’s about love and who I put my feelings on
Verse 1

You didn’t she was scared and self conscious (11:24)
She wondered, is this real or is this fictitious?
Growing up she saw it as a negative (2:12)
Her friends and family told her being straight was imperative

Pre-Chorus

But when we matched and then you messaged me (11:24)
You didn’t ask about my major, my degree
My heritage or family
You’d rather gain from my sexuality

Chorus 1

eb 9
Bisexuality isn’t a pornographic movie (13:31)
Gb maj 7
It’s not a trend, or a mental disability
B maj 7
My sexuality isn’t about you, or how to make your girlfriend come (11:24)
Bb 7
It’s about love and who I put my feelings on

Not Their Cup of Tea

Millie Leonhard, Mason’s Home in Kansas, Olathe. Google June 2012. Copyright Free.

Present Day in Kansas City

When the doorbell rang, Mason was busy cleaning the house as he had always done on his day off. He opened the door to a slight, young woman bundled up against the Kansas winter. He didn’t usually have unanticipated visitors, especially in his quiet cul-de-sac nestled in suburban Olathe.

“Hi, my name is Lindsay. I’m with 41 Action News. I’ve heard that there is an unlicensed, homeless shelter that is operating out of the church behind your home. Have you seen anything suspicious lately?” she inquired.

Mason had actually seen some unusual activity in their family-oriented neighborhood: a drunk man passed out on a neighbor’s porch, one of the homeless had gotten aggressive when the neighborhood refused to let him shovel driveways for cash–but Mason didn’t mention that. He wasn’t one to be in the spotlight.

“No, I haven’t particularly seen anything out of the ordinary,” Mason stated.

“Well, if you happen to think of anything feel free to give me a call,” Lindsay stated handing Mason her business card.

“We are looking for people in the area to do interviews if they know information about the homeless shelter and its effects on the neighborhood.”

Mason thought for a moment, Oh, well interviews? Liam would love that.

While Mason was a bit introverted and content to keep to himself, his partner, Liam, was the opposite–an extrovert who relished the spotlight and loved to embellish. The perfect candidate for a conservative Kansas news station story about the homeless infiltrating the suburbs.

“Actually if you’re looking for people to interview my husband should be home around seven tonight. He’s more up to speed on the community on-goings and I’m sure he would love to talk to you.”

Mason watched the reporter’s eyes light up as if he’d just told her she’d won a lump sum of cash. He thought, Oh, yeah. I bet this seems great for her. Gays in the suburbs of conservative Kansas. Guess you don’t see that on every block.

Lindsay said emphatically, “I’d love to speak with your husband! Here’s my card. Make sure he calls me the moment he gets home.”

“I’ll be sure to do that. Have a great afternoon, Lindsay,” Mason said as he closed the front door. Turning around to go upstairs, he couldn’t help but feel as though he was something to be gawked at after his interaction with the reporter.

He began to wash the dishes as he peered out the frosted kitchen window and pondered his life in the past few months. This was different than Chicago, but it was a silent different. It was verbal attacks as he grew up, maybe a beer thrown at him, but here he dealt with the silent, passive abhorrence.

Growing up Gay

“Andrew, turn up the music! We need to get pumped for the club!” Mason said.

It was that time of year in Chicago when the weather was finally turning from a frozen tundra to where life could begin to creep back into the streets. Mason and his friend, Andrew, were cruising down a bumpy road on the Southside with all the windows down, letting the spring breeze guide their mood as they made the trek to Boystown. Upon Mason’s request, Andrew turned up the Britney Spears song, “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, and the two of them began to sing along. Apparently, this was the wrong choice.

As they glided up to a red stop light, a large SUV pulled up beside them and four men jumped out.

“The fuck you fags think you’re doing playing that music around here?”

Before the seventeen-year-old boys had time to think, the men jumped on the car from the passenger and driver’s side. The car began to rock and they were reaching for the boys.

“Drive! Drive! DRIVE,” Mason said emphatically. Andrew pressed the gas pedal all the way to the floor running through the red light. The men fell away and became smaller and smaller as the boys looked back. With their hearts racing, they looked at each other with wild eyes. No more playing Britney Spears that loudly on the rough Southside.

Growing up Latino

How could he forget? How? It was the midterm for crying out loud!

Mason had just gotten back to his apartment after a long day. He plopped down on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table gearing up to watch a guilty pleasure: Friends. All of the sudden it came racing back to him. FUCK. The midterm.

His feet were on the ground before he knew it and he was racing to his desktop to figure out what the essay was supposed to be about. Culinary school usually focused on execution but this time he needed to write. It was already almost midnight but the paper was due at ten in the morning. He had no time to waste. Mason stayed up all night and when the sun was coming up over the lake, he was typing the last page. Groggy as hell, he trudged to class with the paper in hand.

As he walked in and set the paper down on the front desk his instructor said, “What’s this?”

“That’s my midterm,” stated Mason.

“Oh, well it’s not due for another week. Are you ready to turn it in?”

Damn it. I mixed up dates, Mason thought. But he was confident in his work. “Yeah, it’s ready.”

The instructor accepted the paper and told Mason he would have it graded in a few days.

A few days later, the instructor came into class and told everyone that Mason had received an A on his midterm. If they would like to see what an A paper looked like, he would leave the paper out on the desk so they could take a look. After many of the students had taken time to go over the paper, one girl decided to speak up.

She raised her hand and stated, “Well, I don’t understand how he could get an A if he doesn’t even know how to fucking speak English.”

Mason, shocked, immediately felt the red hot pulse of embarrassment envelop his being. I earned that grade. I worked my ass off. I stayed up ALL night. So what if I don’t sound like you, Mason thought.

However, Mason had to put up with this reaction multiple times; he just wanted to fit in. This wore him down until he decided he would work to get rid of his Latino accent.

He regretfully succeeded.

Remembering What We Built

Liam came home to find Mason scrubbing the floors vigorously, which Mason usually will resort to doing when he’s stressed out. He could tell that something triggered him.

“Honey, how was your day?” Liam asked.

“Fine. Some reporter came by. She wants to know about the homeless shelter. Thought maybe you’d like to talk to her,” Mason stated without looking up.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“It’s just different here, Liam. I know this is your hometown. Sometimes it’s hard to deal with. It’s so different than Chicago. They judge silently…they find ways to make me feel as though I’m wrong for who I am,” Mason said as he slumped back against a cabinet.

“Hey, do you remember when those assholes followed us, called us fags, and threw beer bottles at us when we were walking home in Chicago one night?” Liam inquired softly while climbing down to meet Mason on the hardwood.

“Yeah.”

“Remember what happened? I wanted to run. You told me no. You said we needed to keep walking and don’t look back at them,” Liam said.

“And we haven’t looked back. We have pushed forward. No matter who told us that we were wrong,” he continued. At that moment, Liam started up their home sound system with Mason’s favorite song, “In My Feelings” while he grabbed Mason’s hands and pulled him to his feet. Then, he began to sing along loudly. Mason looked at Liam, cracked a side smile and laughed, letting go of his worries.

Mason and Liam built a home. Unapologetic, they built a loving relationship. More often than not, people have been judgmental of their differences, and the world may not change for them. Mason thought, I am not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’ve learned to be okay with that.

Invisible Pain

Disability comes in many forms. A person with vision impairment can be considered disabled. A person who is deaf can also be considered disable. Disability can be mental, physical, intellectual, etc. Jane has been struggling with disability since she was in eighth grade. Unlike the stereotypical view on the disabled community, the disability she suffers from is invisible. She suffers from multiple medical conditions, such as celiac disease, eosinophilic esophagitis, cataract, and arthritis, that have kept her in pain throughout her life.

*Erica Lee, Portrait of Jane, Kansas City, April 2019. All Rights reserved.*

When I first met Jane, she seemed like a bright, optimistic ordinary nineteen-year-old college student. Slowly, we became friends, and I learned of the several medical conditions that she has. Jane had a rough high school experience – an experience I could only imagine. In ninth grade, Jane missed a lot of school – to the point where she received multiple letters from her high school notifying her that she was on the verge of being expelled. Her many visit to the doctor’s office and her physical conditions have often hindered her from attending school consistently. After setting up a disability action plan, one particular teacher did not follow through with Jane’s plan by not giving enough extension for her homework assignment. In the interview Jane says, “to have someone say that you should’ve been able to do it when literally the day before I was fading in and out of consciousness cause I was sedated or I could not separate myself from the toilet …to have people downplay my struggle because they don’t experience it, that is by far the most annoying things about being disabled,”(20:23). I think it was wrong for the teacher to not thoroughly read Jane’s disability action plan. I think it’s important that a teacher communicates with a student especially those who suffer from health conditions that impacts their school life. Other than her health conditions, her disability has also greatly affected her academic and social life. Her absence at school caused her grades to drop and making friends was not easy for her.

While Jane’s high school experience wasn’t the best, her disability has allowed her to become more independent and mature than other students. For example, because she missed many lectures due to her health conditions or going to the doctor appointment, she learned to teach herself the materials taught in school by reading the textbook. In the interview she explained that her disability has allowed her to understand from early on that, while lectures at schools are important, reviewing and teaching yourself the concepts outside school is just as important. This reminded me of Zygie and Sol Allewis from the book “They Were Just People” by Bill Tammeus and Jacques Cukierkorn. In the book, when the Germans occupied Poland in the 1940, Zygie and Sol Allewis had no choice but to become independent and mature in order to fend for themselves. While Jane’s situation did not involve the Germans, she only had herself to rely on to keep up with school.

When I asked Jane the biggest challenge she still faces today, she answered, “It’s hard for me to explain how they [her disability] impact my life to other people who are not disabled because a lot of the symptoms that I experience are very common symptoms.”(13:07) For example, in her organic chemistry lab she had to separate two clear solutions. The problem was she couldn’t see where one clear layer ended and another clear layer began. After she had separated one layer from the other, she asked her TA if she had gotten all of the bottom layer out because she could not see. Then, the TA gave her a funny look and asked for clarification. When Jane told him that she has bad vision, he jokingly responded “I understand, I too have nearsightedness”. This is when Jane told her TA that she has cataracts. Shocked, he responded “I did not expect it,”. Her TA was shocked by the fact, Jane, who looked like a healthy student, had cataracts, which is uncommon among young adults. This is an example of how she has to constantly explain herself. Aside from poor vision, other symptoms that Jane suffers from are stomach pain, joint pain, migraines, etc. While these are all common symptoms that many individuals can encounter once in a while, for Jane it is result of her multiple medical conditions that affect her daily life. Because it is hard to explain the disability she has, Jane rarely talks about her medical conditions to other people.

While, it has been difficult for Jane, her visit to the doctor’s office have also been challenging. In the interview she recount an event that happened in her senior year of high school during a doctor’s appointment. She remembers that the doctors were telling her that she was perfectly healthy because she was young – when she was not. In response to that event she explains, “That was the most frustrating event in my life because I had that happen in eighth grade when I got diagnosed with celiac disease, I had that happen in freshman year when I got diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis. I had all these problems and the doctors would say oh you’re seventeen, eighteen nothing’s wrong with you,”(14:50). I was shocked when I heard this. To dismiss the pain that Jane was experiencing because of her age, it couldn’t have been more frustrating for her.

Strength motivates an individual, to push themselves, to achieve goals that were thought unimaginable. Resilience is the ability to overcome a hardship, to get back on track and keep working towards a goal. People tend to believe what they see, but appearance is just a piece of clothing we wear. It doesn’t tell a personality of a person. It doesn’t tell what a person is going through. Thus, our society assumes, like the teacher who thought Jane should’ve had enough time to finish her homework or the doctor who thought Jane was in perfectly good condition because she was young. When I look at Jane, I see strength and resilience. Though her disability has affected her inside and out, throughout her whole life, it has never stopped her from achieving her goals. In fact, I think her disability will only continue to motivate her throughout her life.

Pride in Kansas City

By Anonymous Student (not Prof. Bergerson)

It is so fascinating to think about the fact that within our country, each state has such a different culture and way of living life. I think it is mind blowing to learn that things from the political climate to the phrases people say can be wildly different from state to state yet we all fall under a common label: citizens of the United State of America. This was a reality I first became confronted with when I moved from Southern California to Sedalia, Missouri about a year ago. Shifting from a raging liberal state to a raging conservative state was quite the challenge. Something that I really took for granted is the fact that members of the LGBTQIA+ community in the midwest are often ostracized, harassed, and hated. This was shocking to me, due to the fact that where I am from everyone from every walk of life is accepted. The LGBTQIA+ community is even celebrated where I’m from. When I came to UMKC I immediately noticed a positive shift in the attitude towards different people in a way that I had not seen in more rural Missouri. In my Discourse 100 class, I met an individual named Raine Briscoe, who I ended up becoming close friends with. Raine identifies as a transgender male. Something that made him really stick out to me in class was the fact that he was so open about his sexuality and was unashamedly himself. I immediately knew I wanted to get to know him better so that I could get a sense of what things are like for people of the LGBTQIA+ community in the Midwest. I was able to interview him on February 28, 2019 in the Miller Nichols Learning Center. From this interview I hoped to gain a personal and insightful perspective into what life is like as a transgender person in conservative America. In the interview, Raine shared stories about his experiences with things ranging from harassment at school to being misidentified on a daily basis, to the acceptance he feels on the UMKC campus in particular.

Raine grew up in a fairly typical household. His parents divorced when he was around six, and his parents shared 50/50 custody for the remainder of his adolescence. Raine has one older sister, and they both grew up in the suburbs of Liberty, Missouri. When I inquired as to how old he was when he started to notice that he might be transgender, he was able to trace it back to the age of seven. Rained recalled watching Dancing with the Stars with his mother and seeing Chaz Bono, who is a transgender male, and also legendary pop star, Cher’s son. When his mother explained to him that Chaz was transgender, and what that meant, he distinctly remembered the acceptance and welcoming tone that his mother used. She made it very clear that what Chaz did was absolutely something that Raine could do to. Raine explained, “And at the time, because when your seven you don’t think about that too much, but uh, I really did kind of resonate with that and it kind of stuck with me all throughout my life and I didn’t really do anything about it or feel anything until middle school. I would have people literally go up and ask me ‘Raine are you a guy or a girl because we honestly can’t tell’ I was like ‘uh I don’t know, I’m whatever, I’m a medical mystery”. Raine always knew that he was different from the kids around him in ways that were not limited to gender identity. He reflected on this and said, “Umm, I really wasn’t like anyone else, and so, people, especially young kids, don’t like what’s different. And I was very much different. I used to put socks on barbies and pretend they were slug people. Because I really liked bugs”. The fact that his personality was already different from many of his peers made it even more difficult for him to develop a self-acceptance for his sexuality and gender identity. Raine did not truly explore the thought that he might be transgender until around the time that he entered high school. He explains, “I started listening to this band called Steam Powered Giraffe, umm, when I was about fourteen. And one of the main members of that band is trans and so I learned all about her experience as a trans woman and I can really relate that back and forth to, you know. I was like [high pitched tone] ‘maybe I am trans’”. This was a pivotal moment in Raine’s journey to accepting his sexuality.

The first person that Raine came out to as transgender was his mother. According to his answers in the interview, she was immediately very accepting and embraced Raine’s identity without questioning or any reservation. He stated, “I really didn’t do anything fully until high school, when I started watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, and there were all these drag queens who were trans women. And they talked about their experience being queer, LGBT. And I was like ‘Okay yeah somethings, somethin’ ain’t right chief’ so then I came out to my mom. And my mom was like ‘yeah you are’. Yeah my mom was like, without a doubt, ‘I thought you were a lesbian but you’re not so go out be weird’,”. There is something that I personally found very interesting about this. The first one being that both of the figures that Raine described in this interview as being the most influential on his path to acceptance of himself were both public figures that he saw on television shows. For me this was great insight into the essential role that consistent exposure to people who are like-minded plays in the lives of developing children. This is something that those of us who are straight and belong to majority culture do not have to necessarily think about. However, those struggling to determine their gender identity or sexual orientation have very few well-known public figures to look up to. While this was the case as well for people who reside in the area of California that I am from, I realized that it did not stick out as much to me because they had many figures in our local community and in their personal lives to look up to. Southern California has a high concentration of members from the LGBTQIA+ community, so many of the individuals who live there grew up with several relatives and friends that were active in that community. For Raine and others growing up in the Kansas City area this was not the case, which affected them in a big way. Raine describes his relationship with the area in which he grew up by saying, “Like where I come from it was awful. I mean, like, I enjoyed it and I met a lot of great people but there was a lot of things that were just not good. Things weren’t good. A lot of bullying as a kid. A lot, like from second grade maybe fourth grade up was a lot”. It is tragic to hear stories of someone being attacked verbally or physically for simply embracing themselves in a way that causes no harm to others. In a modern society that claims to be accepting and open, there is still so much hatred for varying groups across the country. In the Kansas City area, there has been an interesting shift in the common attitude towards the LGBTQIA+ group over the past forty to fifty years.

The gay rights movement in our nation was not truly born until after the Stonewall riots in 1969. These riots were a result of violent acts between gay rights activists and police officers outside of a gay bar called Stonewall Inn in New York. It was in response to these events that gay rights activists across the nation rose up to form a collective movement. A news article from The Phoenix Newsletter states that “In June 1975, the first Gay pride Festival was held in Kansas City. The three-day event was spearheaded by the Gay People’s Union, Kansas City Women’s Liberation Union, the Joint Committee for Gay Rights, and the Metropolitan Community Church,” (Hinds 16). This was the first time that the LGBTQIA+ community was really given a dedicated platform to celebrate who they were and what they had accomplished. After this, the community still maintained a very underground existence. The same article states that “Records of Pride activities for most of the 1980’s are scant to nonexistent in GLAMA (Gay and Lesbian Archives of Mid-America) collections,” (Hinds 16). Throughout the remainder of the 20th century, and into the 21st century, the political power behind the Pride movement in Kansas City began to die out and turned into a party scene. Currently, whenever someone attempts to organize a Pride festival or event in Kansas City, they are often met with insanely high costs that prevented people from going through with it. This has inhibited the ability of Pride groups to establish a strong public presence in Kansas City.

However, Raine explained in our interview that despite all of the hardships he experienced throughout his life, because of who he is, it was all for the most part put to a stop when he came to UMKC. He said, “during orientation I went here and I got to see everything. There were other people like me, trans, lesbians, gays, bi, asexual, queer, whatever, just LGBT in general. And I was like ‘damn, I’ve really fucking found my place, shit’ and um I was at pride alliance […] there was a night at the beginning of the year where we were all just hanging out watching Matilda, and it felt like I was watching a movie with some close friends. Because we were all just watching Matilda, having a good time. […] Just being here is great and I love it. I’m really happy I’m here,”. I thought this really spoke to the fact that while the Pride movement in Kansas City lacks support in comparison to many other parts of the country, the fact that a LGBTQIA+ movement does exist here makes a significant difference. Throughout most of Missouri, nearly no support exists for people in this community, while in contrast the UMKC campus specifically makes a tremendous effort towards fostering diversity and inclusion. Those like Raine, being able to come here and be apart of a group that makes them feel safe and loved is a remarkable experience, and is something that is difficult to find amidst a part of the country that tends to hold prejudice towards anyone who is different.

Hearing Raine’s story was such an honor, and provided me with a new perspective on the progress that needs to be made in this area. To not only hear his story, but to be able to pair it with a now expanded context of the city itself, has opened my eyes to so many issues that I never knew existed. I think myself, and anyone else who has ever sat down with someone and just listened to their story, quickly realizes how beautiful connecting with other human beings is. We so often gravitate towards people who are like us, but we often learn the most from those who have a completely different experience from our own. The stories of Raine, and anyone else who has experienced discrimination because of who they are, need people that want to listen and who will use those stories in their daily lives to not only accept but celebrate the beautiful ways in which all of our life experiences are so different.

Works Cited

“Stonewall Riots.” Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopaedia Britannica, Inc., 21 June 2018, www.britannica.com/event/Stonewall-riots.

Hinds, Stuart L. “History of Pride.” The Phoenix Newsletter, June 2014, pp. 16–17. z