Race – From Us To Them

Who is My Friend?

At twelve, my world was dark and gray.

It seemed that I was led astray.

My skin cringed at the night

of blood shed from the fight.

Who is my friend? Family.

My brother writhed in pain.

Why do they persecute again and again?

Is this a dream that will never end?

Will there be a chance for absolution?

Who is my friend? Indemnity.

I walked home from school full of fear

Because I know the reprise is near

Dare I shed my clothes to expose my skin!

It is a calamity that I cannot win.

Who is my friend? Security.

Their piercing eyes are a deafening sound.

My hope and refuge are all but found.

Can reproach and hate ever subside?

Why do colors always collide?

Who is my friend? Diversity.

Artist’s Statement

I chose to write a poem to express the wide range of emotions that my mother felt while growing up during the 1970’s. As an Indonesian, her dark complexion often provoked intolerant people and caused her to live in fear. She watched people attack her family members and pets. She woke up to her house being egged and her garden being destroyed by her neighbors. She walked down the street with derogatory names screamed at her. All these experiences transformed her into the women she is today: strong, independent, and forgiving. Although she is treated fairly in today’s society, she observes undeserving hatred still occurs towards others. She is uncertain whether it will ever end. Nevertheless, she forgives everyone who was ever ignorant towards her.

*Rachel Nieters, Portrait of Jeanette Nieters, Saint Louis, 1976. All rights reserved.*

Rachel Nieters, Portrait of Jeanette Nieters and her husband, Place Unknown, 1985. All rights reserved.

I wrote this in the first-person point of view so the reader could witness what life was like in her shoes. Some of the literary devices that I chose to display her feelings were metaphors, hyperboles, rhyming patterns, and repetition. A metaphor is used in the first line: “My world was dark and gray.” By comparing the world to something dark, it elucidates that there is much evil in the world. During the night, especially when you’re restless, it seems like time is eternal and the light will never come, which compares to how she felt during her childhood. The use of the word “gray” refers to the dullness and formality of her society. People in the community, especially children, were accustomed to how their parents acted towards people of a different ethnicity. Because this was the custom, the community didn’t blink an eye at the mistreatment of ethnically dissimilar people. This concept is comparable to the play Rhinoceros, written by Eugène Ionesco in the 1960’s. In this play, people in society are urged to transform into a rhinoceros because everyone else is becoming one. The rhinoceroses represent the pressure to be part of a group, even if their views differ from yours, just for the sake of formality and sameness. The people in the town that my mom grew up in were, metaphorically, rhinoceroses because they conformed to what everyone else believed in without question. They believed that skin color determined how you should be treated, and there was no attempt to altercate that view at the time. All in all, in the poem, the use of the metaphor is effective because it creates an image in the reader’s mind and uses conceptual objects to convey a certain emotion. In this case, it’s a feeling of lifelessness.

*Rachel Nieters, Portrait of Jeanette Nieters and her siblings, Saint Louis, 1981. All rights reserved.*

Secondly, I used a hyperbole to emphasize the divergence between different races. In the fourth line of the fourth stanza, I ask why “colors always collide?”. Of course, this isn’t meant to be taken literally; people of different races don’t actually bump into each other. This line highlights the confusion of why one’s outward identity affects the way society treats them. We are the same species, we share the same blood, so why would it make a difference? In addition, the utilization of rhyme creates a rhythm and flow throughout the piece, which demonstrates the natural journey through life. There are highs and lows, but you eventually make it through. Lastly, I added the reiteration of the question, “Who is my friend?”, which is my mother questioning who is on her side and who she can depend on. At this point in her life, she realizes that diversity has helped her become a stronger person. She is proud of her nationality and considers it to be an advantage now.

*Rachel Nieters, Portrait of Jeanette Nieters, Saint Louis, 1973. All rights reserved.*

As her daughter, I have not experienced anything compared to what she has been through. Throughout middle school and high school, I used to get teased about my size since I was little for my age. However, I was never ridiculed for my Indonesian heritage. Society has profoundly improved in terms of the lack of prejudice, and it can easily be seen through the views of each generation that is born. I’m thankful that my mother’s experiences helped me to accept diversity in today’s world.

Rachel Nieters, Portrait of Rachel Nieters and Jeanette Nieters, Saint Louis, 2018. All rights reserved.

Diversity

Dealing, day by day we all deal with our own problems

Imagine what the world would be like if people remembered that and to

View and treat everyone how they would want to be treated themselves

Even if you don’t look like them or have the same beliefs?

Rhetorical, you would think that would be a Rhetorical question

Some might even think it is sarcasm so much that they know the right answer

In reality, people ignore what is clearly right

To taste the feeling of acceptance and fitting in

Youth and adults both guilty of this trend

Impacting generations then, and at this rate also the ones to come

Simply being yourself and things that you cannot change fuel this trend

Why does one feel the need to bring someone down?

How does one have so much hate in their heart?

At what point is enough finally enough?

Though it is not a big deal to me, does it mean it is not important at all?

Many logical questions later

And still

Knowledge, common sense grade school knowledge which must be rocket science

Evicts out of one’s mind and

Strategically and collectively out of others

Like a forest fire or tornado, hatred has the power to quickly spread and

It destroys everything in its path

Fearfully looking at the destruction it causes

Everyone or I should say most conforms to the majority instead of stopping it

So many people have to learn how to deal with the negativity and hate from

Others for just existing and it’s not okay

Unite!

Numbers, there is much strength and power in numbers

In the same way many people follow others to spread hate

Quantity can be used to spread love and fight against senseless demise

Underdog is love

Expecting it to lose but it always wins

Accountability is what change starts with you

Never know what someone else is going through

Don’t add on to one’s stress and problems

So, the next time you see arrogance against diversity

Please don’t allow it to continue, embrace diversity

Everyone is different which is great

Capture or better yet

Imagine

Aworld where

Love wins

Dawn Allen, Portrait of ChrisSean Evans, Kansas City, March 2019

“Diversity” is inspired by my friend ChrisSean Evans who I interviewed because we both have differences in the community being a minority and having health issues. Us both being black but him having dyspnea and myself having sickle cell disease, we could relate about the struggles of being made fun of racially, but not about our different health issues Therefore I thought it would be interesting to interview him and compare and contrast. During the interview, we discussed his dyspnea, difficult or labored breathing, and how people made fun of him. He explained when one started, more and more people would join in just for the fun of it. In my poem, I stated, “Fearfully looking at the destruction it causes everyone, or I should say most conforms.” Which reminded me of the play “Rhinoceros” and how people comply with the majority with no actual logic behind it. It’s just more comfortable and easier to be with the majority than fight and stand for what you believe in. He also told me how these events made him wish he can change himself, which really upset me. Thus I wrote the poem about diversity, and how it is a beautiful part of life that we should embrace. No one should be discriminated against because of their race, religion, disability, etc. My friend closed the interview by stressing that if someone were to learn one thing about his experiences, it’s to treat others with the same respect you would want for yourself. “Diversity” is inspired by and explains exactly his goal from the situations he has been through.

In Same as the Out

If you ever ask her to decide her differences, she would say

“I have big lips, thick hair, a gap in my teeth, and a lighter complexion. Those are characteristics that people notice right from the beginning” (00:24)

Though the beauty of her light complexion comes with strong individual, motivation, and positive energy some may still judge her for their reflection.

“I attended Confluence Academy-Old North which is a predominantly black school. A male classmate taps me, and he precedes to ask, “Are you white?” No, I’m black too. I was young but he then says, “Oh okay well never mind”. I was just kind of caught off-guard.” (16:49)

She may look different to you but, to her, she is the same as the two of you.

“My friend was talking about how my phone is always going off with notifications and text messages. She claims that I have a boyfriend, which I don’t, but she says things like “Oh ya’ll light skins have more of an advantage in relationships” or “ya’ll get all the love.” (19:55)

Though she encounters those who judged her for their reflection, she had anchors who taught her to embrace herself and love herself for who she is.

“No, I would not change myself because of my parents. They would always give me motivation, positive energy, and loving support so I would never feel like I should change who Kennedi Noel Glass is.” (03:21)

“It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself. Someone will like you anyway.” -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. In a world where social media plays such a huge roll in young adults and kids lives you tend to see stereotypes within a race.

“It’s worse in society now because we have social media and there are more ‘standards’ and opinions out here. You’ll hear that light skin girls are more attractive than dark skin girls so again.” (11:43)

While listening to Kenndi during the interview, I’ve noticed that though we’re different by skin color we go through the same thing with stereotypes.

The stereotype in the black community that the girls in the community has to deal with is being light or dark skin. With the color of their skin color, they’re either getting all the love or having a bigger advantage of being in a relationship.

I, a Vietnamese American deal with the stereotype of being too skinny or too big for my body type. Growing up I’ve always got comments by others who were older than me. Telling me that to have a thinner body figure, a boy would find me more attracted and like me more. Yet the older I got I noticed my body figure didn’t even matter to the boy I fell in love with. My body figure wasn’t accepted by others who kept on commenting because as a kid, for them they would always hear those things from their older relatives; they grew up with that type of mindset thinking that to be like and to get the attention your body figure had to be thin and pale.

For both Kenndi and I, we deal with the appearances that society either accepts or isn’t ideally. With the new generation

After the end of the interview, I’d asked Kennedi what she wanted people to know…

“Everyone is beautiful, everybody is unique, we all goals and aspirations, so just let us live our best lives and be successful. We’re strong and determined.” (26:33)

Artist’s Statement

Salina Nguyen, Portrait of Kenndi Glass and Salina Nguyen, Kansas City, February, 2019. All rights reserved.

In my free verse poem, I focused on the main topic of Kennedi and I’s interview, the color of her skin. At the beginning of my poem I decided to not give away Kennedi’s name because I wanted the audience to relate to her by just knowing what she looked by the description that was given, and the struggles that she went through. Giving two examples that Kennedi encounter gives the audience an insight to what she went through, but if you pay close attention to the people that were asking Kennedi about her identity, you would notice that they are the same race as Kennedi. Even though there are some people outside of the race making a rude comment and judging people, it also happens inside that group of people as well. Stereotypes in the group itself often happen between the girls, because now-a-days, girls tends to judge each other, instead of empowering one another. The reason why I gave the audience Kennedi’s identity at the end was because of how she overcame the situation, which was because of her parents teaching her to love who she is and taking pride of Kennedi Noel Glass.

Equality for All or Equality for None

Roses are red, and Violets are blue,

I do not discriminate; why do you?

I see black and you see white,

But we shed the same color of blood.

We aren’t just African-American and Latin-American,

We are all just American,

This topic is sensitive for most,

I am just trying to make a difference in this world,

It is okay for you to say something back,

But when I say something back it just turns on me for being black,

I may not come across all the hate,

But I know it is there, isn’t that great?

I know the hate will never go away,

Is it that hard to all hold hands together and make this world better?

Everyone has a deeper message and their voice counts.

These lives are more than just more color and religion types,

Let America proceed down the right path again,

America can we be cool again?

Now not everyone is a racist or bigot,

Although, one apple ruins the bunch,

This fight is for all,

Black, white, purple or pink, who cares at all,

We don’t want to ruin it all,

I know every thinks they can do it all,

Let me tell you,

We are stronger together than alone doing it all,

He has struggled because of race,

I feel like that is such a disgrace,

He sees white as I see black,

No problems or no hate,

If we could all get along wouldn’t that be great?

Let’s just drop it all and not discriminate.

Sam Haston, Feb 17, 2019, Kansas City, Mo, All rights reserved.

Recently, I met with a childhood friend of mine to discuss his perspective of being black. We met on a cold night in February at his apartment to discuss some questions. At first, it was hard to get information out of him. We had never actually had a talk about this in person or at any time. I know he has had some racist comments yelled at him on multiple occasions because I had been there. It was great to get a view of everything that is going on right now and what has happened to him in the past. It is astonishing to hear some of the stories about kids in high school and middle school yelling racial slurs at such a young age. In our interview, he tells me “Uncle Tom is basically a black dude that is basically hanging out with white people”(13:25). I had never thought about other black people calling other black people racist names. It started to make me think, are these kids taught some of these things at home? I asked him that question as well and he believed that it was taught at home at a young age like that. I wrote this poem to sum up the way his feelings were told to me. Being diverse is a good thing. Being different sets you apart from other, we don’t all want to be the same. Our unique traits are what makes us for who we are. I feel like people should be proud of that and no discouraged or hate being their skin color or religion. Humans are humans, we aren’t perfect and shouldn’t strive to be perfect or normal because those definitions are not existent when it comes to life. What is normal? What is perfect? Everyone’s definition is different and varies from person to person. Everyone needs to step into someone else’s shoes and see what it is like to be them. Judgment on color or religion is not an acceptable way to judge someone in this world we live. We don’t live the same life but I believe it is important for everyone to take a step back and live in someone else’s shoes for a day.

No Such Thing as Color

Roses are red, violets are blue

What if no color was true?

We all bleed red and all see blue skies,

Yet different skin equals hate in our eyes.

It may not happen to him nor I,

And because of the difference,

many races doubt their lives.

It leads to a life of crime and untrustworthy cops,

A race to the end of this was all he thought.

And now growing up it still proceeds to happen,

So he keeps his head down in frustration;

An observant life and no confrontations.

He sees white like you say black

Except he is at wrong for saying something back.

Wanting to live a life so full while getting restrained

But besides skin color, they are the same.

Only a white person gets a police citation,

Until the world makes a change, no one will win.

We will all suffer from this name game

It should be taken more serious for it is insidious.

All races struggle to be superior

Why does color make us judge the legitimacy of a man’s exterior and interior?

Eye to eye, hand in hand

Equal is where I stand.

Parker Houck, Portrait of Parker and Michael, Kansas City, February 25th, 2019. All rights reserved.

I recently had a talk with an old high school friend, Michael Combs. We discussed differences between our races and what he personally deals with due to the color of his skin. In my class that I am taking at UMKC, Anchor 214 European Culture, we were assigned to read the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman. In Maus, a comic book, one is able to find numerous hardships that the Jews had to overcome during the Holocaust. The story is about the author’s Jewish father, who endured the Holocaust from start to finish. Spiegelman’s intent for writing this comic was to not only try to fully understand his culture’s history during the Holocaust but to also find his purpose as a modern day Jew. He used animal masks to identify and symbolize different social groups; Jews, for example, wore masks that portrayed witty mice trying to run from the authority of German soldiers that were seen as cats. I would like to connect my conversation with Michael to these symbols used in the book to further explain how sometimes, covering identity takes away from who you want to be- the real you, an uncovered face in society who is seen for who they are. Michael learned at a young age that he was not going to be seen the same as everyone else. After racing a white boy in elementary school and being called out for his dark skin, he realized his life was always going to be different. During my talk with him, he said something that stuck out to me: “As long as people see color there isn’t much we can do” (03:40). After growing up, he told me that he has consciously decided to embrace adversity and stands up for who he is as a man, which has shown his true identity. Michael does not need a mask like the characters in Maus wore, but a lot of cultures around the world feel they need to cover up who they are for safety reasons and to dodge harm. Justice for discrimination is a never-ending, ongoing story that many cultures will have to deal with for generations. Until the world does not see color or difference anymore, discrimination will always be a problem.

My Friend Jill

I first met my friend Jill quite recently, actually over this past summer. We were both in the same summer program here at UMKC, and over the course of the whole thing we ended up becoming really good friends. We have spent a lot of time together over this school year and in that time I’ve come to learn and understand a lot about her and her life. So obviously when I had to interview someone from a different background I choose her because we are so close and at the same time very different in many ways. Jill is from St. Louis and is half Filipino since her mom, who was adopted into her family, is fully Filipino and her dad is white. Naturally, this is very different from my racial background, being a white guy from Kansas City, so she has had a very different experience growing up from me. Over the course of my interview with her, she told me about many different events in her life and the main thing that stood out to me was how people, like her classmates, treated her at school since she was half Filipino. When I asked her if she could think of anytime she was treated differently because of her race her mind immediately went to her early school life. Jill had gone to a predominantly white school and she claims that about 7% of the kids at the school were in a minority group and that out of that 7% she was the only Filipino one in the bunch. She always felt like she never really had a group to fit into like the other kids of color who all had there own little cliques and this made a big impact on how she acted throughout these years and what she thought of herself. She described in detail how she would usually try and tag along with the Asian girls in her school since they were the closest thing to Filipino. The problem was in many Asian communities those who are Filipino are seen as the lowest of the low and treated as less than the other Asian racial groups. Almost every day some of her “friends” would make racial jokes at her expense or make comments on how she looked. She would often laugh along with them and make these same jokes herself. She did this in order to gain their approval and to continue to be there friend. She explains, “To some extent you get desensitized and you rely on your sense of humor just revolving around making people laugh” (interview transcript 4:30). This sort of cycle continued well into her years in high school and as she got older she realized more and more how much she didn’t like being made fun of because of who she was. She began to look more into what exactly it means to be Filipino since she and her mom are the two only Filipinos in her whole family. She told me how she started to take pride in her heritage and would tell her friends to stop making those jokes. She admitted that at this point because of her change in opinion she drifted apart from her high school friends but she believes that this was a good thing and showed her who her real friends were.

Illustration drawn by Jill during the interview, All rights reserved

After hearing Jill recount her earlier years in school I was immediately struck by how different yet similar our two experiences were. You see, from a very young age, I was diagnosed with two learning disorders known as dyslexia and dysgraphia as well as an allergy to peanuts. I went to a very small private school and was the only kid there who had these disorders and an allergy. Right from the getgo, like Jill, I was seen as different from all of my other classmates. Often people would make jokes about how I couldn’t write or read as good as the other kids in my class since both of my disorders affected reading and writing. My handwriting to this day is barely legible to anyone other than myself and I learned to fluently read a whole year behind my classmates and still make spelling and grammar mistakes regularly. My classmates would frequently comment on how I couldn’t eat peanut butter and at times would often flaunt it in front of me mocking how I cowered away from it. Needless to say, like Jill, I never experienced a feeling of comradery or friendship in our early years at school. However, we both still had vastly different experiences through life as I could hide the things that made me stand out where she never could. Her story deeply affected me and made me reflect on all of those previously mentioned experiences in my life. After the interview, we talked about it and how in grade school kids would often treat anyone who was different from them and had no group to associate with, with borderline malice. In a way, it makes sense since children will often feel threatened when presented with something they haven’t seen before and try to stay as far away from it as possible. However this in no way justifies this behavior, as no one in any circumstance should be treated unfairly and poorly because of there differences and unique qualities. We both also wondered if things have changed and personally I believe they both have and haven’t changed simultaneously. I feel that when it comes to discrimination based on race things have improved if only by a small margin. But when it comes to bullying I feel that if anything that it has gotten worse. In person and physical attacks may have decreased but with the popularity of social media and the online world, many youths will bully and discriminate online. Scroll to any comments section and there is a large wealth of evidence for my claim. By hearing Jill’s story I got some more enlightenment on my life and the things I have essences as well as others and how they have been treated.

Illustration drawn by me after the interview, All rights reserved.

I feel that the piece of literature that best connects with this story is the graphic novel “Maus” by Art Spiegelman. In this graphic novel Spiegelman recounts the story of his father’s life during the Holocaust and the trials he had to face. As you may have guessed Arts father experienced much discrimination and unfair treatment for being Jewish. Like Jill, he was treated differently and negatively due to his race and things about himself he could not help. Now, unlike Jill, in many situations Arts father had to deal with the threat of being hurt or killed or having his family taken away throughout his whole experience. He also went through the awful experience of living in a concentration camp for a long period of time and seeing his family members and friends get killed. Despite this, his story and Jill’s share striking similarities. The biggest one to me was the fact that both Jill and Art’s father had to try and fit in and hide who they were in order to be accepted by their peers and stay safe. I find it very interesting how three completely different stories can have many things in common.

Little Black Girls

At first, I was just a little girl.
Just like all the others,
Innocent and free.
But then I became “the little black girl.”

The school bell rings
Crowds of young boys and girls
Blended like a melting pot, yet so separate
I’m only a little girl

I play outside with all my friends
Teasing, joking, purely fun
At least that’s what I thought
I’m only a little girl

My deaf ears start to listen.
My blind eyes start to see
The color of my skin
Was the difference between them and me

What difference does it make,
The color of my skin?
I only want to be a little girl
Why is that a sin?

Because my skins not light,
They pick and bother
I don’t want to pick a fight
Just because I’m a little black girl

Because my body is not the norm
They tease me for my curves
They target me more
Because I’m a little black girl

Family dinner
Out for fun
Who would’ve known the drama to come
Because I’m a little black girl

Jazmin Williams, Portrait of Myah Blocker, Kansas City, March 2019, All rights reserved.

My cousin and I are getting ice cream
Behind us is a lady
Who says rude things
Because I’m a little black girl

Her mindset was stuck in an old fashioned way.
Teaching her granddaughter what she should say
“Don’t use that machine; let’s go away.”
All because we were little black girls

Feeling degraded and wanting to change
My body image and self-esteem
Thoughts go through my head
“Why am I a little black girl?”

Negative thoughts and negative wishes
Black women in society not taken seriously
Society’s head is all messed up
Because I’m a little black girl

Praying for change
A change of heart, a change of mind
Wanting to be respected and heard
Because I’m a little black girl

Mama said not to worry about the negative
People will be people
Keep your head up
Because you’re a strong little black girl

She tells me what I’ve never heard
“your skin is beautiful”
“Your body is perfect”
You’re a little black girl and you are worth it

“We are strong and beautiful”
“We are smart and powerful”
“We are authentic and unstoppable”
Because we are little black girls and we’re going to change the world

Change is coming
It’s close, it’s near
Rallies and conversations, we’ll be heard loud and clear
Because we are little black girls and we won’t give up here.

Through the hate and degradation
I’ve learned to love
Not only others but myself as well
Because I’m a little black girl, and I am proud as hell.

With this poem, I wanted to show every phase of knowledge about being a little black girl. I felt like using a timeline kind of aspect would do a good job at really showing her experience. The base of the poem goes from the beginning, middle and ending (not even really an end) stages. I wanted the poem to have a powerful message and a personal tone. I thought it would be best to start with the beginning which included Myah herself not knowing the issue at hand. It shows her as an innocent black girl which she first was before enduring what she has. She starts off innocent and having no knowledge about the issue of her skin color and body image. She slowly starts to recognize small aspects in her life in which she is recognizing how she is being treated differently. So, I gradually go from her having no knowledge about being a little girl to noticing the things like teasing and joking that then make her become specifically a little “black” girl. I show a sense of confusion and maybe even denial in the beginning stages. After she starts to realize changes in how people act around her I show how it gets worse through another instance with the ice cream machine. Something as simple in her life as getting ice cream has been brought to negativity and a bad memory from a small minded and cruel woman who is racist. After this she starts to want to change her body image but through the care and positivity of her mother, she starts to embrace herself. She then becomes stronger and instead of “little black girl” being a bad thing, it is now turned around in her own way that makes it a powerful thing. Being a little black girl has a double effect and so I write this as her wanting others to see it from her perspective and learn how being a little black girl is not bad. You can see that in the beginning being a little black girl was all negative coming from other people who did not respect her or acknowledge her as just a little girl. I compare her to being a little girl versus a little black girl because everyone else who is not someone of color is automatically seen as innocent and they are respectfully acknowledged in everyday life. On the other hand, if you were a little black girl you were seen in a different light automatically. Everyone to her, in the beginning, seemed “normal” and like a “melting pot” that was in fact separated because once your blind and deaf eyes and ears open you finally see and hear how no matter how much people try to say we are out of the racism stage of life and say everyone is blended like a melting pot, you see it is all a fake face put on and it takes looking deeper and embracing yourself as a person to see that. This is exactly what the poem shows and promotes and also what Myah feels and shows. Black women in society aren’t taken seriously according to Myah and they are seen as always joking and not as important. There are ways to change this. I give a few examples within the poem that were taken straight from the interview as solutions to the issue. Although these experiences were specific to myah these are also all real issues that happen to many many black girls and women. I wanted the poem to have somewhat of a story feeling but in a more creative way. I wanted to show the transitions in the character herself and her journey of self-exploration and growth.

The Art of Attitude

Sherri Collins, photo of Michelle DeWeese and Gavin Collins, Wellington, Mo, 2017, Copyright Free

“So, where did you grow up?”(19:44) I asked Michelle DeWeese, a woman I consider a good friend and a role model. “I grew up in Denver, Colorado. It was a big metropolitan city where I was exposed to Black, White, Chinese, single parents, married parents, rich, poor – I saw a little bit of everything, and that was to my advantage.”(19:56) Michelle is different than most as she tends to look at the bright side, even when things have not necessarily gone her way. Intrigued, I asked, “What words would you use to describe your differences?”(00:09) Michelle then went on to tell me, “My handicap can be described as a birth defect, that was discovered when I was four years old, and the technical name for it was cerebral palsy.”(00:13).

Chart, Types of Cerebral Palsy, 2018, Copyright Free

When I first saw Michelle, I was eleven years old, sitting in church with my mother. Michelle walked by, using two crutches, and moved all the way to the front. I asked my mother why she had to use crutches, and this is the first I had known of anyone with a birth defect. My mother explained to me that there were people that had certain limitations and could not do everything that I could. She told me to be thankful for what I had and not to treat people with handicaps any differently than I would treat anyone else. I thought, “How did she play sports and run around with her friends when she was a child?” At that moment I was very thankful for the childhood that I had lived.

Sherri Collins, Michelle DeWeese in 2018, Lexington, Mo, Copyright Free

Michelle loves to watch sports, especially when the people she loves are involved. When I asked her about her childhood, she still gave me no negatives. She said, “I had a very positive experience, because being highly verbal, I was a hospital representative for, I guess you would call it poster-child type stuff, for the children’s hospital in Denver, Colorado.” (2:20) While she spent quite a bit of time in the hospital dealing with six surgeries over ten years in her childhood, she has not allowed that to hinder her ability to make friends, and enjoy life. Michelle explained to me that she had three older siblings who didn’t treat her any differently, and that helped her fit in. I personally did not grow up around anyone that was too different from me, and I wondered if she had faced any adversity at school because of her race, African-American, or because of her disability, but again, she gave me only the positive side of the story, “I was in a school for handicapped children and I was not in a mainstream public school. There were nurses and an underground tunnel to the hospital, and there were rest periods, and children of various illnesses, so that’s who I was around most of the time.” (1:03) When I see people with differences, I think of all the challenges that go along with it. I think of people that have been through tough times just because of what they look like or what they believe in. In a book for the history course called Maus by Art Speigleman, Artie’s father survived the Holocaust and suffered through several problems with guilt even after the oppression was over. I wondered why Michelle wasn’t telling me how bad her troubles had been, but only the good things that have come from her life. Later, I got the explanation. Michelle told me, “My mother did not allow me to accentuate my differences very much at all.” (2:20) Michelle’s mother played a huge part in the way that she carries herself. She explained to me that, “She did not let me focus on it. I was not the center of the world.” (8:10) Her mother knew that she was different, being that she was handicapped, but she also knew that her race would be an issue in society as well. “My mother did not allow my race to be a difference. She deliberately asked excellence of us, because she knew that the race issue was already there.” (17:53) I began to wonder about her mother, and why she raised her children to be so tough and to not give in to what the world told them about their differences. Michelle then explained to me, “My mother was raised in the deep South and she was mixed race. And so she saw a lot of the, if I have my history timing right, she saw a lot of the separate water fountains, black and white differences growing up than I did.” (18:33) Her mother, “set out to give us a bigger world than she experienced” (19:35).

I believe that Michelle has made the most of her life. After earning her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, she went on to earn her Master’s degree in Divinity from Northeastern State University. Earning her degree did not come without challenges. She said, “At one point I was discouraged from getting my Masters because an administrator felt I didn’t have the money to be in the school, but I went to the school with vocational rehabilitation and ended up getting my degree.” (3:17) Despite the outside pressure, Michelle feels that the biggest challenge she faces is within herself. I believe this is true for most people. Humans have a natural need to belong to something bigger than themselves, and it can be a lot tougher to fit in when you have an obvious difference. One obvious example of this is when Jewish people were trying to find their place in Europe in the early 1900s. They were oppressed by every single group of people that they tried to fit in with. With Michelle, her challenge was not comparing herself to others. “Recognizing that dreams that I had for myself were not going to be.” (9:00) This quote from Michelle made me look at my own life and realize how lucky I am to be able-bodied and to be able to achieve the goals that I have set for myself. Michelle has not allowed her limitations to keep her down for very long. She lives independently and functions in society very well. I asked her if she had any hobbies, and she gave me a great response. Her hobbies include “going to the gym, watching people that I know in sporting events, and attending live concerts.” (24:21) I have never heard of a person with cerebral palsy being able to work out. She explained to me that going to the gym relieves stress for her. Michelle has come to watch me play basketball several times when I was in high school, and I think I finally understand why. When I asked her what her favorite memory was, she answered with this, “I think I like most of all watching you, your senior and junior year was a lot of fun. [Tears run down her face] because it allowed me to go back to high school for the good stuff. Just watching you live life, play basketball, hang out with your friends” (26:50). I believe that Michelle loved watching me so much because when she would see me running down the court, or shooting a basket, she could experience the sport through me. Michelle really showed me that being single, African-American, handicapped, or whatever difference one may have, does not mean that you can’t enjoy life. It just means that you have to try a little harder, create meaningful relationships with the people around you, and have a positive attitude along the way.

Madison Bolten, Michelle DeWeese and Gavin Collins, 2019, Lexington, Mo, Copyright Free

Because of a Pigment

Everything.

Everything is different for him,

Because of a pigment.

He lives his life like a prisoner,

He can’t go here,

He can’t go there.

He can’t say this,

He can’t say that;

Because of a pigment.

The life that has be painted for him in his short nineteen years,

Has been filled with difficult experiences;

Experiences of hatred,

Experiences of racism,

Experiences of prejudice,

Experiences of denial;

All because of a pigment.

Made out for something he is not,

By people he doesn’t even know.

Painting him with judgement,

Without knowing his story,

Because of a pigment.

They move to the other side of the street when he is walking,

They stare and whisper about him when he is doing nothing at all,

They fear the very color of his skin,

They are filled with fear,

Because of a pigment.

But because of a pigment,

He has also learned amazing things.

He has learned that the people who remain in his picture,

Are the ones who are truly worth having in his life.

They love him unconditionally,

They accept his color,

They stand up for him

When someone is trying to crush his spirit,

Because of a pigment.

Because of a pigment,

Despite all the hate he receives,

He has learned to love himself,

Unconditionally.

He has learned to be successful,

Thanks to the amazing role models he has in his life.

His father,

His mother,

His siblings.

Who have shown him that you that you can have any pigment,

And still be successful in the world.

You do not need to feel discouraged,

Because of a pigment.

He has had many negative experiences,

He has learned things that no one his age should have to know.

Been treated in ways that no one should be treated.

But because of a pigment,

He has also experienced so much love.

By friends,

Family,

And most importantly himself.

He has learned that he cannot be torn down,

Because of something as simple as

A pigment.

Author’s Note:

Hailey Black, Portrait of Dae’Ron Jones, Kansas City, 2018, All rights reserved.

Because of a Pigment was inspired by a good friend of mine, Dae’Ron Jones. Dae’Ron is a nineteen-year-old student at Hastings College in Hastings, NE. He grew up in Kansas City, Missouri, graduating from Raytown High School. Currently, I am taking Anchor 214: European Cultures, Histories, and Ideas at the University of Missouri – Kansas City. We were assigned to interview someone different from us in order to gain insight into what it was like to live a life that was different from ours. I decided to interview Dae’Ron to ask him about his experiences as growing up as an African-American He told me about many of the struggles he experienced throughout his life, from the racism and prejudice to the horrible violence members of his own family experienced. “…back when I was [in] elementary school, my siblings and like one of our really close family friends were at the mall one time and they got into kind of an argument with some people in the parking lot, some black people in the parking lot. And then some white cops came to the scene, and they just kind of over-escalated the situation with my siblings and started like beating them, they sprayed my sister with mace. […] They tased my, two of my other sisters.” (12:12) He also told me about how hard it was for him to not try and change himself to be more “white”. This part of Dae’Ron’s story reminded me of the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman. Published in 1980, Maus is a graphic novel that tells the memoir of Spiegelman’s father, a Holocaust survivor. Not only is it a graphic novel and a memoir, but Maus also contains a bit of historical fiction when Spiegelman is telling about his father’s experiences. Notably, Spiegelman depicted all the Jewish characters as mice. Often, these Jewish mice are illustrated in pig masks, which represents Polish people, to conceal their identity. This is often what Dae’Ron did; he tried to put on a mask to hide who he really was. He tried to conceal his pigment in order to fit in. But soon he learned that trying to wear this mask was pointless; it was not at all him. With the help of his loving family, he learned to be proud of who he was.

This We’ll Not Defend

A society so blind to difference.

People of a multitude of colors and cultures are so timorous.

Taught to follow a mold and not to break it.

I never knew I was dissimilar to the majority.

For I was surrounded by those alike that enjoyed me.

Living in America, a country of freedom and equality,

I never truly felt accepted, even in the U.S. Army.

*Olivia Stoehr, Portrait of Faustino Barbosa, St. Joseph, MO, 1951, February 2019. All rights reserved.*

You would expect during a war we would all be treated the same,

But that wasn’t the case.

I was viewed by others as simple-minded.

Unable to comprehend what the officers wanted.

Only having friends resembling me,

While the others speak sly slurs to some degree.

Required to complete whatever duty the officers assign,

Never to question why we couldn’t be on the front lines.

Manipulation and mistreatment are customary.

Majors fabricating a job to drive trucks,

In hopes we would volunteer without any fuss.

I conclude from a friend they are tricking us.

Presuming that our kind are used to laborious tasks,

Since that would be our occupation outside of the war.

Assumptions make my soul feel sore.

For I am just like everyone else inside.

But they see me as vermin and want me fried.

I stand my ground because I am proud,

For my culture is a part of me.

Only if this world could see me for who I truly am,

Then I wouldn’t be told by those I know to scram.

An interview I had with a great uncle, Faustino Barbosa, about his difference in race, compared to myself, inspired this interview. Faustino Barbosa, born in 1930, grew up in St. Joseph, MO his entire life, and faced discrimination. He grew up in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, so he felt at ease there. Certain restaurants still banned him, and workers would refuse to serve him because of his race. Faustino was always compared to dogs, rodents, or other dehumanizing terms. People wanted to get rid of him like a homeowner would want to get rid of mice in their home, with that home being America. America was Faustino’s home too, so he always persevered through the hate. In this poem, I discuss Faustino’s experience as a minority in the U.S. Army, during the Cold War.

I used the line “But they see me as vermin and want me fried” as a reference to a book I read, called Maus, by Art Spiegelman. In the graphic novel, the Germans viewed Vladek and other Jews as vermin. This anti-Semitic view is a reason the Nazis found it justifiable to burn millions of Jews in crematories in concentration camps, from which Vladek remembered seeing and smelling the smoke. This related to Faustino because most white people saw him for his race and assumed he was useless and a nuisance, like a vermin. I used “Majors fabricating a job to drive trucks in hopes we would volunteer without any fuss” because Faustino experienced this specific incident while he was in the military. The majors were deceiving the Hispanics by fabricating a job that involved driving trucks but instead forced them to push giant wheel barrels. Also, Jews faced extreme manipulation when the Germans hauled them off to “camps.”

I relate to Faustino wanting others to see the real you, but I never was stereotyped for my race, since I am white. Faustino faced struggles I would never dream of facing because he is a different race than I am. My interview partner never saw himself as different and wanted others to see who he truly was. So, to portray that message I included the part about Faustino being proud of his culture and wanting people to know who he was as a person, not for the color of his skin.