My Friend, My Enemy

How many years have we waited?

How many days and nights have come and gone?

How many have we sacrificed?

For the ones that stood on our soil, in the name of righteousness.

How would you answer my question?

My friend, my enemy.

Driven by ignorance, they speak lies of us.

Driven by fantasies, they speak ill of us.

What else would be there to offer them?

Bitter truth? Virtuous suffering?

What say you,

My friend, my enemy.

I showed them my home, yet they won’t accept it.

I showed them my photographs, yet they deny them.

I showed them who I am, yet they do not see me.

I am nothing more than what they think.

How many years must we wait?

How many days and nights must come and go?

How many must we sacrifice?

Ah, my friend, my enemy. Must you look at me that way?

Please, smile.

Is it not something heroes do?

The interview with Khanh Bui sparked the fire for the creation of this poem. Khanh is a 24-year-old Vietnamese UMKC graduate who has lived in Kansas City, MO for the past 5 years. He has faced many challenges, from personal to legal. One of them is the generalization labeled on him based on his race and ethnicity. Something that he must face daily. The poem expresses the frustration, and anxiety he feels when those who do not know him label him in any way they want, but at the same time, the peace that he was able to develop throughout the years. “… I have learned to adapt to it. I have developed thick skin against those comments.” (18:35).

Street scene Hanoi.
Image: © kk nationsonline.org
https://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/vietnam.htm

‘My Friend, My Enemy’ is a title I found fitting to represent Khanh’s relationship and feelings with those that surround him. The people live and coexist peacefully with Khanh, but deep inside, there is still the lingering thought of the Vietnam War, like a scar that has fully healed but will never leave. “Whenever I meet new people in the U.S, and I say where I’m from. I get polarizing reactions. It’s either fascination, or it is negative…” (1:27).

The Hien Nhon gate, one of the four gates of the Forbidden City in Hue.
Image: © kk nationsonline.org
https://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/vietnam.htm

The misconception of Vietnam being a war-zone up to this day is not the only example of improper historical education in the United States. To this day, there are still many that believe that the United States had taken the lead on World War II against the Axis Powers. It was the Soviet Union, with the aid of its allies, including the United States, that led the final push against Germany, thus ending the conflict.

As someone who is also from a different country, I can relate to Khanh’s frustration due to the stereotypes labeled on him based on his race and ethnicity. But just like him, I have been able to develop a thick skin against such labels.

One in a Million

The United States is known as the Melting Pot. There are many people from all over the world immigrating to the United States to get more opportunities for jobs, or even just for a better life. But even till this day, people from different cultures still get excluded in our daily lives. No one should ever get discriminated in the first place, especially for their differences. Everyone is different and that’s what makes us all individuals.

I met T in my sophomore year of high school. She was a year below me and we both moved to the United States with our families. T was born and raised in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, she moved to America at the age of thirteen. We met in ESL (English as Second Language) class. The first time I talked to her, she had always had her sweet smile on and the noticeable but charming accent. T became one of my closest friends. When I got assigned to interview someone different, I thought of her. 

“When I tell some people that I am from Ethiopia, they jump to the conclusion that I am poor (which is not at all by the way), and they look down to me…”(06:27), “… people don’t think I can do what they do just because I don’t speak as good English as they do, like in school, people put me in a lower level than they are just because I don’t act or speak a certain way”(08:48). She said in the interview. However, she’s one of the hardest working people I know in high school, and she was an out-going person and always had have a lot of friends. Xenophobia is the fear and distrust of that which is perceived to be foreign or strange. It is not uncommon that people have xenophobia even in this diverse country so called the Melting Pot. People still exclude people that are marked “different.” The ODIHR’s (Office for Democratic Institutions and Human Rights) annual reporting on hate crime in the OSCE area has demonstrated that racist attacks can take a range of forms, targeting people from diverse groups across the region.

I asked T if she was affected by those people that looked down to her, she put on her big smile and told me, no, because she knows who she is and she loves who she is, she wouldn’t let people put her down. “[People should] get to know me, learn more about the culture or just different culture in general, because when I tell people I’m from Africa, people think low about me and think that I’m poor and I don’t speak English, so that makes me I’m not as smart which is not true. So, if they get to know me better, they will definitely think differently” (07:22). I completely agree with her, never judge a book by its cover, right?

T, Portrait of T in her traditional clothes, Ethiopia, March 2019. All rights reserved.

Since we both are first-generation immigrants, I know she probably had experienced the same challenge as me – the language barrier. When I first move to the United States, I could barely understand or speak English and I understand why people could get irritated or impatient sometimes. People would either try to speak to you and get frustrated or didn’t even bother to talk to you. I wanted to know if T had the same experience. “When I first moved here, I did not speak English at all, it was really hard for me to communicate with the people here, I didn’t understand what they are saying or what they meant to say, the communication was very hard for me in general”(01:02).

And this leads to another struggle – socializing and making friends. T said it was very hard for her to make friends at first which is a big part of her social life. Everyone knew everyone from where she was from, and when she moved here, it took her a while to make friends. “I think it was the language barrier and also the culture difference, but from what I remember it was very hard for me to make friends”(02:49), T said. Of course, her English improved over the years, she can speak fluent English and she has a lot of friends now. T shares that she loves to hang out with her friends and experience different cultures together. Her friends would always ask her about life in Africa and she always enjoys telling them more about her hometown.

T, T with her siblings, Ethiopia, March 2019. All rights reserved.

T is a beautiful and confident person; she’s genuine and kind. Most importantly, she will always see the best in people. She will never wish to be a different person than she is right now. She is unique and she is special. She never lets anyone else affect her either physically or emotionally. “It makes me love my culture more, it makes me appreciate the country that I’m from”(09:45). This is what she had to say about the people that look at her differently. She’s always positive and influences the people around her.

At the end of the interview, I asked T if she had any pieces of advice that she could give to people that are different like us and is feeling down because are looking down to them. She said: “[I would tell them that] They are unique and different, and from different country, they don’t have to act the same as everyone else here [in the United States], just love themselves, and their culture of course, always remember when you’re from, and you’re unique”(11:07). Yes, never forget where you are from and who you are. Get to know yourself better and love yourself; you’re one in a million.