I was walking to my car from my Chemistry lecture around 7 pm. My phone started ringing; Maddy Herrell was calling me. “Hey! I’m just calling to let you know I’m right on Main Street,” she told me. My apartment was right off Main Street so she would be getting there much before I would. “Okay, I am on my way right now,” I told her, just as I picked up my pace. It took me twenty minutes to reach my apartment and just as I got there I saw a small car outside of the gate, idling with the headlights on.
I met Maddy last summer and we continued to keep touch every now and then which really got us to know each other personally. We found out that we had very different views on politics and religion, which made her a perfect candidate for my interview because I wanted to know how she felt and responded to living her whole life in a very conservative town while being herself: an atheist.
The interview was set up in my room; I sat on my desk chair and she sat on my bed. I wanted to first address her school and personal life and show how incredibly engaging she is at just eighteen years old. Maddy is involved in the IB program which “…stands for International Baccalaureate….and it is a very tough and stressful thing to go through” (1:15), and on top of this, she has to juggle being on the track team and working as a waitress for Texas Roadhouse.
Maddy’s impressive resume was one of the first things about her that surprised me, and after having her explain this to me I could see she became a lot more relaxed with the interview which helped me change the topic and talk about more distinctive features about her. “I would like to shift gears a little here and talk about the more personal aspects of yourself: the aspects that may also set you apart from others and make you stand out” (4:47). I told her just before she followed up with a nice, relaxing assurance. I asked about her views on religion, and she responded that she had been an atheist since she was a child. This was mostly due in part by her mother’s influence and how she explained to her what religion was when she was only in elementary school. “You know my mom, she explained to me both Christianity and Atheism; she knew a lot about both. I just never saw Christianity as a realistic possibility” (5:10). She goes on telling me that, for her entire life, she has never found any sense in religion. This was really unexpected for me when I took into account that we both grew up in the same town of Peculiar, Missouri, a town that is overtaken by Christian-Conservative morals.
In Peculiar, you could find a church by heading three miles in any direction, in fact, right next to Raymore Peculiar High School is the United Methodist Church. Christianity was the common thread that residents held on to, so Maddy’s situation makes her the most unfortunate outlier. “Peculiar is a very ‘hick’ town and with most people leaning toward the Republican side…Most of my friends in school are Christians conservatives too,” (6:32) she explained. I asked her if she ever wanted to live anywhere else and with a brief pause, she responded: “I definitely would in the sense of moving away from that culture” (8:07). The only thing that keeps her back is her friends, all of whom she met living there and of course, no matter how bad a place is, when you grow up somewhere it is always going to be your home. In regards to politics, Maddy is a strong Democrat and again, this was greatly due in part by her mother. Her mother has always been a woman who never saw the truth in religion or Republican matters, and despite living in a right-wing town, she always kept her position.
I asked her how she felt living in Peculiar and if she had ever been fearful, and of course, she explained that in some instances she does feel scared by being out of place in a crowd of “dudes with big trucks, Confederate flags, or Trump banners” (9:20). Maddy thinks that the influence of Trump on the Peculiar community has been nothing but poor and that the President has excited ignorance and even white supremacy. “Because of all this, I feel like I don’t have a say at my school, or like I shouldn’t have one because I would get made fun of or laughed at,” (9:50) she added confidently. Being picked on has been something Maddy faced at school with her opposition toward conservatism and she said that the only thing to do is to just shake it off.
I was very intrigued, however, when she mentioned white supremacy at her school and I wanted to dig deeper into this. “Was there an instance where you have seen someone being judged by their race?” (12:12) I asked. With her eyes wide open, “Oh, of course, I mean I know there are instances like those everyday….The whole town has this problem where, if there is anyone who stands out as being non-white will definitely be looked at or judged” (12:15). After she said this I started to think back to my experiences in town, and she was absolutely right; Peculiar residents are not very fond of seeing non-white citizens, particularly the older folks.
Up until the early 2000s, Peculiar was a completely caucasian town, but when the county population grew dramatically, more people flocked to the quiet, peaceful countryside. For the first time, African-American, Latino, and Middle Eastern families were added to the population, and it was quite evident that it was a shock to some natives. Maddy and I grew up during this time and going to school with kids that were a different race than us was normal but that didn’t mean everyone lived in harmony.
Parker Hauptmann, Portrait of Peculiar, Missouri, September 2018, All rights reserved.
She continued by saying, “…at school, this is totally worse. We have a bunch of racism happening, mostly because a lot of high schoolers are very stupid and immature” (13:05). The immaturity comes from kids saying racial slurs that start out as jokes but gradually spread into actual assertions; an example would be the use of the n-word: a common term used in today’s songs and youth culture. “The n-word gets said like everyday, and it’s mostly by white students too. They’ll just be saying it whether they are referring to a friend or rapping song lyrics that have the word in it….the word has definitely been used through hate and racism at our school, this is where our ‘hick’ and ‘confederate flag’ notion gets to use” (15:10).
Maddy told me a first-hand experience of racism at school involving a foreign-exchange student from Germany who was at a football game. Since his first time at Ray-Pec, he has been under much torment for his thick accent and looks but on this particular night, “he was standing on the rail just minding his own business and all of a sudden I hear one of the lower-classmen behind me yell, “What’s that German kid doing here, go home!”(15:27). Maddy immediately retaliated and proudly stood up for her friend.
I followed up her story by asking her if she was in a similar situation all due in part by her atheism because as said before, this was not a common ideology for a Peculiar teen to have. She appeared to be more nervous with her response:“…I remember in 4th grade, this one kid found out that I didn’t believe in God and just started telling all the other kids. Everyone just kinda kept giving me looks, and just like, whisper to each other about me” (17:17). This type of reaction was very common and she would even lose friends over it; “As if my religion changed who I was,” (17:17) she included.
The most traumatizing experience she went through involved her 6th-grade teacher. Maddy was heard saying the Lord’s name in vain and her teacher was so furious as to call her out in front of the entire class. “She just started talking about how the Lord is her shepherd and ‘You won’t say my Lord’s name in vain’, practically preaching in the classroom” (21:20). I felt sorry for her after hearing this account because if this happened to me in 6th grade I knew I would be so scared as to cry. Maddy assertively stated that a teacher has no right to influence religion like that, yet it still happened to her.
As the interview concluded, Maddy left with one last postulation, “If someone judges me for what I believe in then their opinion doesn’t matter….I just don’t care what they have to say to me” (22:11). This is a perfect representation of her; she is strong, considerate, and wise beyond her years. Even though we don’t have the same perspectives, it is because of her attitude towards me that we have continued to be friends, and if more people had the same outlook then relations would be much easier to hold on to.
Do you believe in faith? Do you believe in love? Do you believe in God above? Well up here we will tell you so.
Up here, in this wonderful township, We will proudly represent his sponsorship. Nothing brings us closer; a perfect relationship.
God loves his beautiful children, through thick and thin. One big, happy family. A righteous kin. But will he still love you if you don’t see him?
If you don’t see him, you do not love him. You do not admire his creations. You are unresponsive and live under fabrication.
Don’t get sucked into the wrong. Don’t go down that road. That’s Satan’s lair; he will take you and not let go.
Parker Hauptmann’s narrative, “A Normal Oddity,” humanizes a person of religious difference which serves to frame the effect of atheism on her life. The subject of this narrative, Maddy Herrell, has grown up as an atheist in Peculiar, Missouri, a very Christian and conservative town. Although the author, Hauptmann, and Herrell do not share the same beliefs, they are good friends. Hauptmann characterizes Herrell as “strong, considerate, and wise beyond her years” and pictures of her are included throughout the narrative. By doing this, Hauptmann distinguishes Herrell as an individual and not only as an atheist. This humanization creates empathy for Herrell and emphasizes the struggles she has faced because of her difference. For example, once in fourth grade, when other kids found out that she was atheist, they whispered to each other about it and gave her looks; other times she would lose friends over the fact (Hauptmann). This discrimination overlooks her as an individual and dehumanizes a person to a label, rather than seeing them for who they are. This story is aided by the fact that the author is friends with Herrell and does not discriminate against her like these kids did. Religion has been the basis for discrimination and genocide in the past, such as in the case with the Jewish people and the Holocaust. By reading individual stories and experiences, one can begin to understand their struggles and empathize with individuals. Failure to look beyond labels, such as religion, creates an us-or-them mentality which is poisonous to society. In the case of Herrell and Hauptmann, an understanding between two people of different beliefs can forge a friendship through empathy.
A Normal Oddity written by Parker Hauptmann is a blog post that covers the topic of Religious Tolerance. This is a relevant topic for not only this course, but it is also an extremely sensitive topic for most people today. I relate to Maddy’s story on a personal level. When I went to a faith-based preschool I began to develop skepticism. I was told not to tell anyone about my lack of beliefs. In A Normal Oddity, Maddy states, “I remember in 4th grade, this one kid found out that I didn’t believe in God and just started telling all the other kids. Everyone just kinda kept giving me looks, and just like, whisper to each other about me.” In Nazi Occupied Germany, Jewish children were ostracized for their beliefs and taught to hide their “Jewishness”. Because she grew up in such a conservative area, “[Maddy] explained that in some instances she does feel scared by being out of place in a crowd of “dudes with big trucks, Confederate flags, or Trump banners.” The same feelings of fear that Trump banners and Confederate flags evoke today relate back to how Jews felt when they saw Swastikas, Anti-Semitic Propaganda, and images of Hitler. Hauptmann writes, “Even though we don’t have the same perspectives, it is because of her attitude towards me that we have continued to be friends, and if more people had the same outlook then relations would be much easier to hold on to.” Had people like Parker Hauptmann stood up for others like Maddy and tolerated their differences, we would be in a much better place.