Gender – From Us To Them

Learning Love and Acceptance

Maya Baughn, Entry way to Mid-Continent Public Library -North Independence Branch where the interview was conducted, February 2019, All rights reserved.

On the day of my interview with Alex, the sky was gloomy, and it was raining. The library was framed in grey which made the pale yellow stand out. During our interview, I kept remembering how he used to be when we first met. His story touched my heart, and I realized how little I knew about gender identity and sexuality. Being a firm believer in education, Alex explained a lot of things to me and having that information compelled me to spread awareness too.

Alex has been my friend since eighth grade. I remember when he still used his dead name and tried dating girls to express how he felt. He had long dirty blonde hair with blue streaks that framed his face because of his middle part. For Alex, the indifference he experienced stemmed from his gender identity, not his sexuality, so no matter how many girls he dated there was still a chasm which needed to be filled. He wouldn’t find out until we were juniors in high school what filling that chasm truly meant to him, he wanted to be loved and accepted like anyone in high school does. However, when Alex found a way to express his true self (when he gained the knowledge to describe what he’d been going through since childhood) most people turned him into a joke. The change did not come easily – I can still hear how others taunted him when I think about walking down the main hallway of our high school. Insults echo over the chatter and background noise; I can’t imagine how loudly the insults echo in Alex’s mind. Alex chose to plant himself and grow where very few people loved and accepted him.

Maya Baughn, One of Alex’s favorite photos of himself taken at his home before the interview, February 2019, All rights reserved.

When I asked Alex his biggest challenge growing up, he explained, “I didn’t fit in with the guys because obviously, I was a girl so it was like ah I belong with the boys but they don’t want me.” (01:31) It’s as if children are seeds, all different shapes and sizes, with the potential to grow into anything, yet they’re still categorized based on their gender. His family held tight to this notion that an individual must be one or the other; boy or girl. So, growing up, when all the girls would gather to play, Alex would join them even though he longed to be with the boys. Boys did the things Alex liked doing too, but they were unaccepting which left Alex alone most of the time. For quite a long time Alex didn’t know he was meant to be male, he just thought he was a tomboy.

In our senior year, Alex and I took a creative writing class for dual credit. It was the first class we had together since sophomore year, and the distance between us was clear. Regardless, I noticed him and talked with him to bridge the gap. He didn’t wear all the negative things he’d been through like I expected, he just remained kind and understanding of all my questions. Transgender, this is who Alex is, but it is not everything Alex is. When he learned about his gender so much of his life was explained. Long hair, a high-pitched voice, and a soft chest weren’t suited to him, but they weren’t things he could easily change. So, I asked “how does your gender impact your everyday life?” in order to understand all the effort he puts into expressing himself (04:07). Every day Alex puts a decent chunk of time into presenting himself a certain way to be perceived as male. The long hair was cut short, he made his voice deeper, and his soft chest was compressed by a binder. All these things helped him gain some confidence in himself; however, confidence is only part of the battle. Depending on the place Alex must decide which restroom to use during his transition. He explained, “At work and certain places I’ll go into the men’s room because ya know that’s where I belong but in places like high school I would go into the women’s restroom because it wasn’t safe.” (04:51) Being transgender has an unnatural number of challenges Alex faces every day, the biggest of which being the unacceptance from peers and other individuals.

Body dysphoria plays a huge role in how Alex feels about himself. The disease does not treat him well, it makes him extremely uncomfortable with his body unless he’s made himself look, act, and sound more manly. He discussed overcoming this feeling as learning “dysphoria is not self-hate, it is not that I hate my body, it’s just that it doesn’t fit me.” (21:48) Alex has prevailed through some of his dysphoria and the anxiety that manifests with it because he knows he can be healthy and be himself. One day, to help himself with the processing of overcoming, he explored the men’s restroom at Independence Center. This was finally his chance to use the restroom he was meant to use. At first, it was great; he went in feeling triumphant, and he was well on his way to blossoming into his true self. Two big, brute fellas in flannels and cowboy boots stopped Alex as he exited the bathroom stall. Alex felt terrified, yet he reminded himself to remain calm. After all, he had just started growing to accept himself and had finally figured out what eases his mind. These men were mean, and scary. They pushed Alex down, forcing him onto a cold, dirty bathroom floor, making him feel horrible and incredibly unaccepted. Alex remembers the situation as the men “beat me to a pulp almost. . . they called me a tranny and more disgusting words after they beat me up because I wasn’t like a guy. I wasn’t a cis man.” (07:55) Some people tried to help, they thought Alex should go to the hospital to make sure he wasn’t severely hurt or physically broken. Alex didn’t go, he wanted to pretend that the whole incident never happened.

Later, Alex was at work when he finally passed out because of all the trauma he had suffered. He didn’t open up to anyone about what happened though until all the wounds had fully healed. There came a day, almost two years later, when Alex had to write a creative nonfiction piece for the creative writing class we took together. This piece was going to be his way to finally talk about what happened, and it would expose the horrors he experienced while just trying to be true to himself. First, he proposed the idea to all his new friends, the ones he had made through work that loved and accepted him for his true self. Before this, they had no idea about his experience, and when they found out they were upset they didn’t know sooner. His friends gave him the love he needed to finish healing and grow into a beautiful person. Exactly the kind of person he was meant to be. From his experience, Alex has acquired the courage to tell his story, stand up for himself more, and to even stand up for others.

Alex and I have come a long way in the last six years. He made it clear during the interview that he has learned a lot of things he wants to pass on to help people accept what they do not understand. Education can transform how everyone thinks and it is an important tool. The final questions I asked Alex dealt with what he wants others to know about the transgender community and how people could be more tolerant. A key component of tolerance is recognizing that transgender individuals are valid and real. He said, “Mostly just by talking about it [gender identity], that would erase a lot of fear.” (29:49)

Finding Identity in Kansas City

For 18 years, Anthony had grown up in Austin, Texas. He recently moved to Kansas City, Missouri to go to the University of Missouri- Kansas City, to get his Bachelor of Arts in Journalism. I am also a student at the University of Missouri- Kansas City. Unlike Anthony, I have lived in Kansas City, Missouri most of my life. I was also born in Texas, and shortly after I was born, we moved to North Carolina for my dad’s job. My dad was unhappy with the job in North Carolina, so we moved to Kansas City, and we couldn’t be happier. Kansas City is such a unique city where you can find a place you belong very easily. Anthony and I have one thing in common, and that is that we were both raised Catholic. The one big difference is that we both had very different experiences with the church.

When I was 4 years old, I was baptized Catholic. I did not get a choice, nor did Anthony. The big difference between our stories is that I went to catholic school for 16 years. I was surrounded by people with the same beliefs as me, and at the beginning of every class we start the class off with a prayer. Anthony did not get this. His parents made him go to Religious education class once a weekend because he went to public school. Anthony then came out to his family as gay when he was around 16 years old. Our faith journeys are very different.

Anthony was born into the Catholic Church; his parents chose his religion for him. He was baptized as a baby and went through the sacraments (baptism, first communion, reconciliation, confirmation). Anthony has always thought of church as being a burden. When he was younger, he never wanted to go to church and, since he went to a public school, his parents made him go to religious education classes and youth group. When Anthony turned 16, he realized he still was not interested in church and decided that his ideas did not align with the Catholic church. Since Anthony was so young, he did not get any say in if he wanted to be a part of the Catholic church or not. When asking Anthony if he wished he got the choice to decide if he wanted to be Catholic or not, he responded by saying, “I would say probably no. Being raised in the Catholic church has opened my eyes to this and is something I don’t really want to be apart of. Even though I might have had a few struggled and I felt a little awkward at times to be part of the church. I think growing up that way really made me realize that I had my own viewpoints separate than my parents and family had,”(3:44). This, for me, was very hard to hear because I was also raised Catholic and went to 16 years of Catholic school. It was heart breaking to hear that Anthony didn’t appreciate Catholicism as much as I do.

Anthony came out as gay in 2015 when he was 16 years old. For Anthony this was hard because he knew that being Catholic and gay was something that was difficult to achieve . A lot of old fashion Catholic’s do not support gays, and Anthony knew this. Anthony knew he had some struggles coming his way. The first people Anthony came out to were his parents. In the interview Anthony said, “My mom was really upset. She started crying and talked about how disadvantaged I was going to be. But my dad could tell. He had an idea and he was more okay with it, I guess you could say. As far as my extended family, I really did not feel like it was necessary because they all lived outside of Texas so I felt like it wouldn’t have made a difference if I came out to them. I really didn’t see a point,” (4:03). Imagine not having your mom not totally on board with your sexuality. That in itself must have been extremely hard. Anthony’s mom since then learned to accept him for who he really is. No one in Anthony’s family knows that he is gay besides his parents and his sister. He isn’t hiding it from his other family he just doesn’t see them and doesn’t find it super important to tell them. In the interview, Anthony said that he waited a while to tell his sister just because they are 15 years apart and he is not that close with her.

I asked Anthony if he would consider himself Catholic and his answer was, “At the moment I do not know. This is something I have struggled with for the pasted few years whenever people ask me what religion I am or if I am Catholic. I just don’t think I should entirely separate myself from the church. I am afraid to do it honestly,”(6:53). Anthony admitted that it is hard being gay and Catholic because he said when he came out, he started to judge the people in his church because he assumed, they were judging him. Anthony now has learned that no one is really judging him and that he is invited and welcomed into his church. Anthony, throughout his life, has struggled being gay. In the interview I asked him how being gay effected his self-image and he said, “I think for a while even after I came out I guess I really didn’t want to be perceived as gay even though I had come out. I just didn’t want to be looked down upon me. I didn’t want people to see me and be like that person is gay. I didn’t have a problem with being gay, I was just afraid of the perception people would have of me. I was afraid people would look less of me or they wouldn’t want to be friends with me because I was gay,”(2:30). This interview was so interesting to me because I have never had to experience wondering if I was accepted in my church or not. I have always just thought I was loved and accepted by my church community. Anthony is a very strong person to have to question whether or not he is accepted at such a young age. Since getting to college, Anthony has realized that he does not get treated differently because of his sexuality. He feels like he is accepted and welcomed at the University of Missouri- Kansas City.

From Summer to Isaiah

Where do I belong?

Where do I fit in?

I feel that I was born in the wrong skin

People make me feel as if I am living in sin

Should I wear clothes that society binds me in?

Maybe I should wear something Feminine

If I did, maybe it would stop my feelings from within

Feeling like I am trapped in a small room where the air is thin

I just want to be me… in my meant to be skin

Shedding the skin to be me Isaiah

Artist’s Statement

Isaiah in front of the transgender flag. All rights reserved.

For my narrative, I have decided to write a poem over my interview with Isaiah Morey. Isaiah is transgender, female to male. I have known him since he was still going by Summer, so about three years. I had seen some of the things that he had gone through while they were happening, but never really knew how bad it was. For example, people were calling him derogatory names, and I had heard this. Someone ripped up his artwork and threw it in the trash, he had spent four months on that piece. He had names written on his locker, and his car vandalized. Having this interview was a very good experience for me. It opened up my eyes to see what really goes on, and I was able to gain insight into his personal convictions and the events that were happening in his life. It really opened my eyes for what transgender people go through on a day to day basis. I have always been a close-minded person, but talking to someone about their experiences in life has changed that for the better. I now look at people through a different lens, and realize that everyone is struggling with something. As for Isaiah, we were mostly just acquaintances, but now we have become very close friends.

The poem is about the personal struggle that Isaiah felt growing up. He felt that he was more masculine than feminine. He started struggling to find who he was as a person early on, around middle school. He had always worn masculine clothes and had his hair cut short even when he was Summer. He never felt that he identified with being a girl or being a lesbian. Even though he felt that he was a man, he went by Summer, his birth name, and lived as a lesbian. He had a lot of trouble with the school that he went to. Isaiah attended a Lutheran high school in Kansas City. The teachers at that school always singled him out and used him as a prop to show kids how not to be. The school put him in at-risk religion classes since the staff said that he had “homosexual tendencies”. The staff wanted him to conform and be who he was born, Summer, a girl. He was kicked out of his own dance for wearing a suit and tie and bringing his girlfriend. When his car, locker, and art were vandalized nothing was done, and the staff even continued to bully him.

The next five lines represent his inner struggle with identity. In the interview, he talked about how he would wear a dress to school just to give it a chance. He was reaffirming that this was the way that it was supposed to be. “I would purposely go and go to school, like wearing a dress or wearing something like really feminine or whatever”[07:37]. The rest of the poem talks about people’s actions and reaction. The students at his school would say hurtful things about him. The students also would vandalize his locker with hateful messages and tear his artwork off the walls. His car was vandalized on multiple occasions, and the school would not do anything about it. There were many instances where the school could have stepped in, but nothing happened. Isaiah was being victimized and nothing was being done, due to the fact that what he believed went against the school’s religion.

Isaiah’s testosterone shots . All rights reserved.

I found this very sad because we are supposed to love all people and help them despite beliefs or personal convictions. All the experiences that Isaiah faced were very unfortunate. He still faces problems like that even though he had graduated and is out of that school. There are instances that happen at work and out in public. Personally, in order to keep this from happening, people need to learn tolerance. We may all have our beliefs but that is no reason to cause emotional or physical harm to another person. This interview has helped me to better understand some of the struggles that transgender people face in the community. If anything, this assignment has taught me to embrace all differences and to advocate for those whose voice is not being heard.

Relating the Narrative Back to Our Course

The Nazis would push their agenda over on the citizens of Germany and surrounding countries persecuting those who were Jewish or homosexual. Since they had power over the people, they would slowly bring in ways to persecute, and it was not all at once. Starting with wearing the star of David stitched into the Jewish peoples clothes, then gradually taking over Jewish owned businesses and rounding them up and even getting the Polish people on board to help turn in Jewish people. In this course we have read and watched content that has depicted this. In Lacombe, Lucien by Louis Malle, Lucien is French but joins the Gestapo to help round up members of the underground. This is an example of the power that Nazis had even over in other countries. Also in Maus by Art Spiegelman, we see Vladek desperately trying to hide his family and survive the Nazis occupying Poland. They receive help from the Polish, but the Polish also start turning Jews in to protect themselves from harm. This is an example of the Nazis influence of non-Jewish people.

Personal art in support of Isaiah. All rights reserved.

Years later we still see persecution in our society. Even though it is not mass genocide like we saw during World War II and the Holocaust, it still continues today. Whether it is a friend, or a story that we see in the media, it exists all around us. As humans we need to treat people with the dignity they deserve. We need to learn to be more open-minded and willing to understand someone’s personal struggle.

Walking Up the Stairs of Racism

“So, you think it is ok for your daughter to play with my daughter?” to which Ada’s mother responded “yes, why not?” (31:23)

Denise Oliver Velez,
Working while black: Racism at John Deere and other stories ,
Wednesday July 27, 2011, https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2011/7/27/999355/-, March 11, 2019, All Rights reserved.

This is a story about the reality of the world we live in today. It is a story about the power of a difference in a person’s life. It is the story of a young woman’s racial struggles from childhood; a young woman by the name Adanna Okorocha.

“Mum! I am going to be late for school!” the little Ada shouted. Ada – the name everyone called her – was a young girl of 11 years. She attended Maple Grove Middle School, which was one of the best private schools in Maple Grove, Alabama- the little town she lived in with her family. Born into a Nigerian family, in the United States, Ada had been different all her life. Not only is she a minority in the US, there has always been a disparity between her and other people of color, solely because of her ethnicity.

“Do you have your lunch money with you?”, asked her mother, frantically moving about, making sure her daughter was perfect for school. It was her second week of school, and she didn’t want her daughter looking like she wasn’t well taken care of. She had come to understand that being black in this country came with a lot of stereotypes, even if they did not necessarily apply to you. “Yes mum. And I have my right pair of socks and already combed my hair”. Ada answered knowing fully well what her mum was going to ask next. “Good. Be safe in school baby girl, and make sure you don’t let anyone pick on you for no reason whatsoever. You have your teachers in school to always turn to if you need any help. Ok?” she asked as she straightened out Ada’s collar. “Yes mummy! Love you! Bye!” Ada shouted as she ran towards the school bus waiting outside her house. The driver was cheerful today. He had just received his paycheck and his wife had made his favorite meal for breakfast. He didn’t mind waiting a little for this little black kid…he didn’t mind at all. There was something different about her. She wasn’t like the other African American kids he had come across in all his years of bus driving. “Good morning, Mr. Michaels!” They did not greet him the way she did. “Good morning! How are you?” he said giving her a warm smile. “I am good! How are you?” “I am good as well” he said smiling as she found her way to the back of the bus looking for a space to sit. She had to go through the usual routine of looking for space in the bus. She would find a seat, but no one wanted her to sit next to them, and that’s how her ride to school was, sitting at the back of the bus, alone every day.

Maple Grove Middle School was a predominantly white school. The top-level classes where normally filled with only Caucasians. This was a normal trend in Maple Grove. The few African Americans at this school were stuck together, not interacting with the rest of the school. At least that’s how it was supposed to be. Ada was an exception in this school. She had just come into the school and, in less than two weeks, was already in the advanced classes. The teachers were amazed at how a black girl could keep up in a class like that. “Good morning, Ada, how are you doing today?” said Ada’s English teacher. “I am doing good, Miss Ann” said Ada as she continued to her class. “How are your parents?” asked Miss Ann. Ada had gotten used to this routine of greeting. She had always sensed that her teachers thought that, because she was black, she would have issues in her family. This was a stereotype to the black people. Her family was doing fine. Her parents had been married for ten years now and had never had a significant fight. “They are doing well, Miss Ann” Ada responded as she always did. She finally got to her class and as usual moved to her seat on the right side of the class, alone, and isolated from the rest of the class. It wasn’t a new thing to her. In fact, she has been used to this treatment right from elementary school. It wasn’t the same in her other classes. The other classes she took – which had more black people in them – treated her like any other student. Why was this an exception? She had taken some math placement tests and was placed in eight grade math class while she was in the sixth grade.

“Did you understand that Ada?” asked her math teacher. “Yes, Miss Jane” Ada couldn’t understand why the teachers acted this way to her. On one hand, it was like they cared; on the other, they were just waiting for her downfall. She couldn’t tell which was happening at any moment in time. There were times when she would walk down the hallway, on her way to the cafeteria, and just as she would pass by her teachers, she would overhear them say things like “I can’t believe she is keeping up in this class” or “She is actually quite smart for a black girl”. What they did not understand was that, being smart is not a function of your skin color. Yes, she was smart, there was no doubting that. However, so were the other kids in her class, but no one made a big deal about it. Why did they think she was different? That was when it struck her. She had been in a similar situation before. She had not given it much thought until now. Her first encounter with racism happened when she was much younger.

Ada had just returned from school and as it was her routine, she dropped her bag, finished her homework and got ready to go to the playground in front of her apartment complex. Her mum, who already knew this routine, came out from her room and walked behind her little girl. The playground was not far at all. In fact, it was in their compound. But still, she was not going to take her chances with this neighborhood. No, not where black people are discriminated against. Her husband was a doctor and she had her degree in Computer science. They had just started this family and had managed to provide for their two children on a daily basis. Their first born, Ada, was a smart child and could take care of herself. But with their new born , Nonso, they had to work extra hard. Ada’s father was the only good physicians in this little town they lived in, but because he was black, everyone would rather drive for miles to the nearest health center. There had been instances when their family would go shopping at their neighborhood store and end up buying nothing because of irrational racist actions from the employees and other customers. No, there was no way she was letting her baby girl go out on her own. They had just reached the playground when they saw this little girl sitting by herself on the swing. She was white. She looked sad and six-year old Ada asked her mum if she could go play with her. “Sure, you can. Just don’t hurt yourself”. Ada joyfully ran up to the girl and asked her name. Cindy and Ada played and played until the sun went down. Her mum was so proud. She had raised a good child. They played that way every day after school, on the weekends, in the evenings just when the sun was about leaving the sky. Every time Ada crossed the gate to the playground, her friend would come right behind her. They lived in the same apartment complex but why had she never seen her friends’ parents come with her to the playground? Not even her mother. At least her own mother came and watched over the two children. She believed that was ok. This daily affair went on between these two friends until one day that Ada’s friend came down to the playground with her mother. Ada was excited because she loved meeting people, but her mum was uneasy even though she had been taking care of this person’s daughter for some time now. Cindy’s mother looked into the playground and asked her daughter who these people were. “Oh, that is my friend Ada and her mum. We play here everyday” said the innocent girl. Cindy’s mother let go of her child’s hand, walked up to Ada’s mother and asked, “So you think it is ok for your daughter to play with my daughter?” Ada’s mother responded “yes, why not?”, “Well I just thought maybe you would want to meet her parents first, you know? We are trying to raise her well and we don’t want anything to, you know, influence that in a negative way”, “What do you mean?!” Ada’s mother would not have it. This white lady had just called her daughter a bad influence. All Ada could hear from the other end of the playground was shouting and disagreement. She did not understand what was going on. She just wanted to play with her friend. The argument went on until Cindy’s mum grabbed her daughter by the hand and stormed off the playground. And so, the two little friends did not play that day.

The next day, Ada went to the playground in the evening as usual but as she neared the gate, her friend, Cindy, was stepping out of the playground. “Hey! Are you leaving?” Ada asked innocently. “Yeah. My mum said I shouldn’t play with you anymore. She said you people had no respect,”. What Cindy had just said would infuriate someone else in a similar situation, but not Ada. She did not feel bad at all. In fact, she thought it was a normal thing. “Oh ok, makes sense. Bye Cindy!” she said as she waved cheerfully to Cindy heading back to her apartment. They were not meant to be friends anyway. She was black and her friend was white. Her parents had already told her all these stereotypes about how white people treated black people. This was the same situation with Cindy and her mother. Both sides had told bad things to their children about the other. Little did they know that they were sowing disparity into the lives of these young ones. Now they would grow and pass this same seed to their children, and on and on till we finally break this chain.

This was many years ago. It all made sense to her now. What had been done to her back when she was little was still going on in her middle school. She started thinking of ways to reduce this racial treatment. She noticed that the white kids dressed in a certain way. They wore the latest shoes, clothes which she thought were “white brands,”(26:57). Whatever it took she had to change herself to fit in. She bugged her parents, saying she needed new clothes and shoes. Her request was met, but what she got were off brands. Nonetheless, she would finally fit in. But to her dismay, the very same people she tried so hard to become, laughed at her. This had happened before in history when the Nazi’s occupied Europe. The Nazis murdered the Jews simply because they hated them for their difference. Even when they seemed to give the Jews options they went back on their word and killed them anyway. Although this scenario is not as extreme, Ada never again was going to try and fit in.

Ollyy,
African young woman taking off a mask of a caucasian woman- Image,
Royalty-free stock photo ID: 102504455 , https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/african-young-woman-taking-off-mask-102504455?src=w-bhd7g14pFly3J0o0DJ5A-1-0, March 3, 2019. All rights reserved.

This one experience of her being ridiculed for trying to change, changed her mind set, and how she lives her life today. Yes, she had a lot to prove to others to break the stereotype used against her, she wasn’t going to let anyone bring her so low as to change who she was. . Although, Ada and I share the same ethnicity, we differ in terms of citizenship status, and hence our experiences with racism are completely different. Nonetheless, just as Ada had found this new hope in herself, so must we all in our struggle for acceptance. For we are who we are for us, not for “them”.

Mistreatment

It’s good to see you

Much has changed since we first met

But we remain friends

I knew you as Grace

You found your identity

You are your true self

As you transitioned

You faced the truth in people

They can be wicked

Cast out by your peers

Binary society

Where do you belong

Flawed society

A victim of ignorance

I wish I could help

Blatant mistreatment

Mistrust in authorities

Inescapable

Unfair obstacles

Inspiring resilience

I see your courage

Relief found in friends

PJ van Nieuwenhuyse, Picture of PJ van Nieuwenhuyse , Shawnee KS, April 2019. All rights reserved.

Shelter from society

A community

Daughter and sister

A supportive family

Son and a brother

A light in the world

You love in spite of hatred

You’re my friend, PJ

I chose to write in haiku as a way to symbolize my relationship with my interview partner, PJ. We do not see each other often and rarely speak over the phone or text. Despite the few words between us, there is a lot of understanding and meaning behind our relationship. I have been friends with PJ for years and wanted to write about what I have seen and what PJ has told me about his life during our interview. The haiku format is also intended to resonate with PJ’s inclination towards music and art. PJ’s courage has been an inspiration to me and I hope this poem shows how strong and loving he is.

Trapped

This cage does not have walls
Nor a ceiling, nor a floor
But fingers and toes
And nobody knows
Between my ears I'm fighting a war.

Sometimes I can't look at myself
I won't stand in front of the mirror
If I do I'm left reeling
And can't shake the feeling
That my identity isn't so clear.

Some people do not believe me
They won't call me by the right name
They tease and they taunt me
Do they know that it haunts me
That they think my gender's a false claim.

I feel like there's no one behind me
My rights are not well protected
And all I can do is pray
That my liberties aren't taken away
By the people who have been elected.

We don't have good representation
We're rarely portrayed in a good light.
In the media we're shown as a joke
Or a hooker out having a smoke
Few networks will show our true plight.

I wish people would let us be
Why should you be upset or even care
About what I wear and how I present
If it is to no one's detriment
So before you judge, or flash me a glare

Please think about how you would feel
If you were on my side of the deal.

Daniel Zender, Painting, Kansas City, 2012, All Rights Reserved.

For this project I interviewed my friend, Parker Perrin, at my house on February 28^th, 2019. Parker is a trans boy who attends Staley High School in North Kansas City. He enjoys theatre, music, as well as his bird, Hamlet. Parker has known he was trans since he was 12 years old. However, he was not able to come out until recently. Even then, he has only been able to come out to friends and not his family. Trans people are a minority in the United States that are both brought up all the time and simultaneously not talked about at all. In other words, while trans issues have been featured in more news recently, they are usually being talked about without trans people being part of the conversation. This one-sided argument results in an ignorant society that is not actually able to see trans issues from a trans person’s perspective. Even doing this assignment I feel as if I walk a very thin line, because it’s important to let minorities speak, and not speak for them. Even when it is well intended, allies often speak over or for the very minority they are trying to defend or advocate for.

This poem is from the point of view of a trans person because I felt that would be the most effective way to evoke compassion and understanding in the audience. However, since I am not a member of this community, and haven’t experienced these things, I tried to be more general to avoid misrepresenting the thoughts and feelings of people in the trans community. Gender dysphoria is the feeling that your body and body parts do not match the gender that you identify with. Trans people often experience dysphoria. Dysphoria can lead to a deep-set discomfort and self-confidence issues that can make it hard to look at themselves or think about how other people see them. In my poem I tried to describe this feeling in the first and second stanza. In the third stanza I talk about the general disrespect that members of the trans community deal with on a daily basis. In my interview with Parker, he talked about how every negative reaction and instance where he is misidentified weighs on him and hurts his self-confidence. In the fourth stanza I talk about the fact that trans people are not protected by their government. In recent years trans people have had their rights threatened and even taken away by our current administration several times. During my interview with Parker, one issue that was brought to my attention is the social stigma that surrounds trans people. Throughout popular media, trans people are shown as sex workers, predators, and are incorrectly portrayed as people who are simply pretending to be a member of the opposite sex. I reference this in the fifth stanza of the poem. These harmful stereotypes create a large problem with how society views the trans community, and people then use these stereotypes to validate their own hateful prejudices. When these harmful stereotypes and gross misunderstandings are perpetuated in our society, it desensitizes us to the issue and makes possessing negative thoughts about the trans community seem more acceptable. This is evidenced by the fact that in our current government, many officials, including our president, actively take away trans rights, such as the right to serve their country. Even in our home town of Kansas City, several sitting council members outwardly oppose the LGBT community. I talk about this political tension and violation of rights and freedoms in the fourth stanza of the poem.

In interviewing Parker, I gained a deeper insight into the problems and feelings experienced by members of the trans community and learned a lot from this about how to be an ally. The trans community is one that needs to be given a platform on which to speak and present their thoughts and feelings, so that our society can grow and become more accepting of other people’s lives and experiences.

The Moon and the Sun

The moon and The sun work as a cycle

One sets as the other one rises

How it feels to be an outcast

One walks as the other one runs

My moon is seen as an outcast

But they work as a cycle

Bigots like Donald Trump

Treat them like they’re recyclable

Here’s this little piece of paper

We make up whether or not you are

Coherent and able

Kind of like cutting off your legs just to see if you’re capable

You strip a little piece of dignity

From the small number of people who have any clarity

You pour a little price into curiosity

Slap a name on it for the people who live within the causal luminosity

They say to be one with others

But how do we coexist without having the same Mother

The moon and the son

They rotate like two linear buns

The universe spins on the same frequency

Even if we don’t speak the same currency

If you bounce the moon off it’s timeline

Is the sun sitting there waiting to see if the time’s right?

One sets as the other one rises

Its all about how they handle each other’s vices

You have one language that’s just sugar and spices

And one language that’s all high rises

That’s how it feels to be an outcast

“All things in this world die”

According to someone who claims that they don’t hide

Shifting paths, living in masks

Do you walk or do you run?

Are you the moon or are you the sun?

Artist Rendition:

http://getdrawings.com/sun-moon-drawing — Author unknown, illustration of the moon and sun, downloaded on April 1, 2019, All rights reserved.

My narrative poem addressed some things from my point of view which is looking into a window through L’s point of view. The first stanza starts off with the moon and sun comparison. This is a big theme that ties the entire piece together. I talked about how one (the moon/sun) sets while the other one rises. The moon and sun are constantly on their own wavelength, rotation, time, and speed. They’re working together as a team but they’re also their own individual energy source. To try and make more sense of this we must give a little background on the person in interest. During my interview with L, they gave me insight into some of the struggles they had to deal with on the daily due to the lack of documentation their parents have. They are considered “aliens” according to the government and the laws held within this country. The moon and sun comparison has multiple ties into it but the main one is that the moon represents the minorities while the sun represents the government and/or upper class. Undocumented people are “outcasts.” In the interview, L states that “there [were] actually a couple situations where [their] parent [was] uhm— they weren’t embarrassed but they, they were treated less than a human”(1:51). My last line in my first stanza states “one walks as the other one runs” in correlation to the idea of the moon and sun being two different kinds of people. Imagine yourself in a situation like the rabbit and the tortoise. Who runs and who walks? That is kind of the concept I am trying to portray. Do you eat or do you stave?

In the second stanza, you can see the input of my personal opinion. I start off talking about the moon being an outcast and then I continue with the “cycle” aspect of the theme. In a sense, the government and everybody else has to work In a cycle in order to coexist and function in the same society. “Bigots like Donald Trump, treat them like they’re recyclable.” I assumed my audience has a slight comprehension of what is going on concerning our current president and the status of his demands for this country. The laws and newly founded apprehensions regarding undocumented people have really stunted the thought process for the hope of all humanity. They are being treated like they are “recyclable.” In stanza three, I talk about the “piece of paper” and how “we make up whether or not you are coherent and able.” The piece of paper is the document (s) that L’s parents do not have, the tangible and physical recycled broken-down piece of wood that determines their entire status and quality of life in this country. I compare this to “cutting off your legs, just to see if you’re capable” in kind of a sarcastic but ironic kind of light. In the interview, L talks about his parent’s most recent struggle. Their mom had just recently gotten into a car accident, trying to get the car fixed and the insurance companies to comply with the financial struggles of having to hire a lawyer. All of that can be taxing but even more taxing on someone who is illegally living in this country. Simple things are harder to obtain. The sun is the center of the universe, it has multiple energy forms relying on its energy and resources in order to function. It’s just like modern day society, the government is in control of everything, the center of attention, meanwhile, the moon, (the minorities, the outcasts, the “aliens”) is in the back pulling most of the weight getting little to no credit and is usually ridiculed along the way. The people of the moon live humbly for things that don’t come easy to them.

In the next stanza, I focus even deeper on the topic by talking about the restricting “Freedom” Americans claims we have a right to—”you strip a little piece of dignity” (taking away simple rights based off status of citizenship) “for the people who have clarity” (clarity in the sense of having a different sense of mind due to the difference in struggles and experiences people with documents versus people who don’t have documents have to go through (each person’s definition of “clarity” may or may not differ). “Slap a name on it for people who live within the casual luminosity” (to bring attention to how we, as a society, tend to label people or put them into certain boxes. People who are just waking up every day in the journey of finding a purpose to carry out until they die. Casual luminosity. Casual everyday living auras. Living light. In the interview, L states that they like to “go out with [their] cousins, a lot,” and “that’s one of the most enjoyable things [they] do” (11:55). I invert this into stanza five, line two by comparing L’s joy in hanging out with his cousins to a much deeper and more rooted problem. How does society and humanity coexist as one without having the same “Mother.” Mother in the sense of “all things greater than me.” How do people overcome fear, hatred, and differences if we won’t all first identify as being all the same? All equal? All following and breathing for the same purpose of enjoying and fulfilling our lives until we eventually die?

In stanza six, I state that the “universe spins on the same frequency, even if we don’t speak the same currency.” In saying this, I try to illustrate a picture, a visual so my audience can depict the kind of angle I am trying to portray. In the interview with L, they state that they had struggled with reading for a long time, even in kindergarten they would still struggle more than their peers. In my poem, I compare language to currency, that even though there are a lot of people who speak many different languages, it does not suggest that we are any better than the next. It is simply a currency we have; we get to use it whenever and however we want all the while reaping the benefits of being able to communicate with one another. If we strip away someone’s right to speech or degrade someone for not being fluent in one language or the other, we deny someone’s right to currency, we deny them a rite of passage. Stanza seven hits L’s struggles with stereotypes placed upon them and their family. In the interview they state that people have “tried to get my dad into selling drugs and all of that but he always said no and now I have one uncle that is here and the rest— some are incarcerated, some are in other states and some are in Mexico because of deportation” (1:51). I use this to incorporate “it’s all about how they handle each other’s vices, you have one language that’s just sugar and spices and one language that’s all high rises” by using their story and struggle with problems with their family member’s and drugs and compare it to the way that society has to share each other’s experiences and “vices” in order come to a point of total unanimous acceptance.

Author Unknown, content containing peace propaganda, downloaded on April 6th, 2019, All rights reserved.

In the second to last stanza, I incorporated a direct quote from L themselves, “All things in this world die.” In the interview, I ask L if there is a specific or special quote he relates too and that is the first part of the quote. I find this to be the main anchor to this entire narrative poem. We all live, we all breathe, and we all die. The reason for any kind of discrimination of someone else due to their ethnic, sexual, or religious belief is pointless. If we all breathe, we all die. If we all die, what makes one person better than the next? L had a different childhood because of the struggles and battles their parents had to deal with. Although a burden at times, L takes all of this in a very warm-hearted light, they take these struggles and turn them into lessons. I state at the very end; “Do you walk, or do you run? Are you the moon or are you the sun?” Ultimately, no matter what you decide to be, you must remember that the moon is merely a reflection of the sun. We all walk and we all eventually run. It’s simply a cycle, and that cycle is called life.

Equality for All or Equality for None

Roses are red, and Violets are blue,

I do not discriminate; why do you?

I see black and you see white,

But we shed the same color of blood.

We aren’t just African-American and Latin-American,

We are all just American,

This topic is sensitive for most,

I am just trying to make a difference in this world,

It is okay for you to say something back,

But when I say something back it just turns on me for being black,

I may not come across all the hate,

But I know it is there, isn’t that great?

I know the hate will never go away,

Is it that hard to all hold hands together and make this world better?

Everyone has a deeper message and their voice counts.

These lives are more than just more color and religion types,

Let America proceed down the right path again,

America can we be cool again?

Now not everyone is a racist or bigot,

Although, one apple ruins the bunch,

This fight is for all,

Black, white, purple or pink, who cares at all,

We don’t want to ruin it all,

I know every thinks they can do it all,

Let me tell you,

We are stronger together than alone doing it all,

He has struggled because of race,

I feel like that is such a disgrace,

He sees white as I see black,

No problems or no hate,

If we could all get along wouldn’t that be great?

Let’s just drop it all and not discriminate.

Sam Haston, Feb 17, 2019, Kansas City, Mo, All rights reserved.

Recently, I met with a childhood friend of mine to discuss his perspective of being black. We met on a cold night in February at his apartment to discuss some questions. At first, it was hard to get information out of him. We had never actually had a talk about this in person or at any time. I know he has had some racist comments yelled at him on multiple occasions because I had been there. It was great to get a view of everything that is going on right now and what has happened to him in the past. It is astonishing to hear some of the stories about kids in high school and middle school yelling racial slurs at such a young age. In our interview, he tells me “Uncle Tom is basically a black dude that is basically hanging out with white people”(13:25). I had never thought about other black people calling other black people racist names. It started to make me think, are these kids taught some of these things at home? I asked him that question as well and he believed that it was taught at home at a young age like that. I wrote this poem to sum up the way his feelings were told to me. Being diverse is a good thing. Being different sets you apart from other, we don’t all want to be the same. Our unique traits are what makes us for who we are. I feel like people should be proud of that and no discouraged or hate being their skin color or religion. Humans are humans, we aren’t perfect and shouldn’t strive to be perfect or normal because those definitions are not existent when it comes to life. What is normal? What is perfect? Everyone’s definition is different and varies from person to person. Everyone needs to step into someone else’s shoes and see what it is like to be them. Judgment on color or religion is not an acceptable way to judge someone in this world we live. We don’t live the same life but I believe it is important for everyone to take a step back and live in someone else’s shoes for a day.

Self-Image and Sexuality

Nancy Ziegler, Photo of Jonathan and I, Kansas City, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

In recent years, there has been a growing acceptance for people who are LGBTQ+. We can see this through events like the United States making gay marriage legal in all 50 states, through shows like Queer Eye that have exploded in popularity and through many teenage movies such as Love, Simon that speak of acceptance. This outburst of support has been a recent development, and my friend Jonathan and I remember growing up in a time where it was still of taboo to be homosexual. Even more so when compared to 70 years ago. Gay people have been persecuted throughout history in almost every culture. They were included in the groups of people sent to death camps by the Nazis, but their stories are largely nonexistent. Discovering a chance to get the story of my gay best friend, seemed like a great way to honor the gay people who never got to tell their stories.

Jonathan was adopted from Moldova when he was a little over a year old. He grew up in, “…a very liberal, very comfortable family” (01:15). He admits to having a negative self-image while growing up, especially when he realized his sexuality and in turn how society viewed it at the time. He references one specific factor that played a role in this self-image, his father and the jokes made about gay people. I understood what he was talking about, growing up calling someone gay was just something you did, there was no thought behind it.

Jonathan Cruickshank, Photo of Jonathan’s Moldovan Passport, Kansas City, 2019. All Rights Reserved.

Jonathan Cruickshank, Photo of Jonathan’s Adoption Papers from Moldova, Kansas City, 2019. All Rights reserved.

Similar to the mob mentality that people took on during the pogroms in WWII. “Before I even came out to anyone my dad would jokingly make like very crude jokes about gay people. And you know the funny thing is, there was no motive behind it” (02:25). The results were a complicated relationship between father and son, where Jonathan saw a complicated picture. On one hand, he saw his father as the liberal, very accepting man that was someone he could look up to, but on the other, he still said these horrible jokes about gay people, intentional or not. His father became an example of what Jonathan came to worry about other people. This same kind of fear many gay people back then had to live with as well, except none of them could come out. “If my own father thinks this, even if there is no motive behind it, then God what is someone walking down the street going to think of me?” (03:10).

When Jonathan finally did choose to come out to someone for the first time around 6^th grade, it was not a well-received response, so much so that this person told him, “well that’s just disgusting” (05:28). This shocked me because Jonathan and I were friends for over a decade, yet I did not know about this incident. I was also shocked because of the response, it doesn’t make sense in my mind to justify saying something like to anyone regardless of your relationship. Jonathan responded to my disbelief, “So even if it wasn’t her like calling me disgusting, it was like her calling my sexuality disgusting [but that’s] still apart of me” (06:00). This was thankfully the only negative coming out experience that he ever had to deal with. Jonathan says that as he got older, he became more sure of himself, and that the people he did choose to come out to, it took a lot of confidence to do that. But it brings up that question anyway of why do gay people even need to “come out”? No one goes to their loved ones to declare being straight. Because in our society we just assume the default sexuality is heterosexual, and that because you’re not a part of the “norm” you need to officially declare it, which seems like it would have some negative stigma to it.

The Flag Shop, Photo of a Rainbow Flag, theflagshop.co.uk, April 2019, Copyright The Flag Shop All Rights Reserved.

In addition to a bad first time coming out experience, Jonathan had experienced another negative response to him just being himself again, through words. We were seniors in high school at the time and he was working at a kid’s clothing store, primarily a girls one. He had been experiencing a normal shift when a father and daughter duo came into the store. He had assisted them in finding her some outfits, most of which she liked and they were ready to check out. As Jonathan was ringing them up for the clothes the father said something to Jonathan. “…the dad you know jokingly says “God you must be a fag to work here”. And I was just kind of like no, not really. Sexuality doesn’t really play a role in the hiring process here” (10:10). Jonathan said that nothing had escalated further from the one comment and that even though it may seem like a minor incident it was a major one in his life. I made the comment of comparing this remark to the ones that his father had made about gay people. They are the kind of comments that stem from ignorance and more people aren’t even aware of the implications that their words have. A big difference between the two is that Jonathan’s father genuinely cares about him and that this was a stranger trying to be funny. This was another incident that affected his self-image that he admits he is still struggling with today, but fortunately not enough to completely shatter the confidence that he has been building over the years.

The topic of self-image and worrying about what other people think led us into the discussion of things like public displays of affection (PDA) with a significant other. PDA is a common sight with straight couples, it is one of those things you grow up seeing on TV and in public spaces. Seeing PDA with a gay couple? Not nearly as common, although this trend seems to be changing. Jonathan however still feels that discomfort that society exudes when a gay couple chooses to display affection. “It’s not like I’m not comfortable with PDA and it’s not that I’m not comfortable holding my boyfriend’s hand while I walk down the street. It’s the fact that I don’t feel safe” (14:54). This is another one of those things that straight couples and people, in general, do not seem to worry about or have ever had to think about. As his friend I understood Jonathan put a lot of thought into his appearance and I always attributed that to someone who cared about their health and taking care of themselves. While maybe a small percentage of it may be that, most of his need to take care of self-image stems from the fear of being judged, and possibly a confrontation. In regards to someone actually approaching him and saying something just because of the way that he is, he says, “That’s more fearful to me because I know words have more of an impact that someone else’s actions do. It almost strikes me with fear and almost shuts me down to the point where, like I said, I’m not going to walk down the street. At least in Kansas City, I’m not going to walk down the street holding my boyfriend’s hand because I would feel very uncomfortable” (17:52). I understood why he would feel that way about Kansas City. Despite the progress that has been made in Kansas City for the LGBTQ+ community, it is still not nearly as accepting as a place like San Francisco. The representation in a state like Missouri is still so much more conservative than a place like California, and not having representatives who advocate for your sexuality still allows for those unfavorable parties to speak out against the gay community.

Jonathan Cruickshank, Photo of Jonathan, Chicago Pride, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

However, despite all of the negative experiences that Jonathan has dealt with, he is optimistic about the future. He believes that as our generation gets older, as well as all the younger ones, that a more accepting society will emerge. When I asked him there was one thing about our current society that he wished to change “that societal ideal that a man and a woman, that’s the perfect marriage” (19:04). He also offers one piece of advice to others that may be in a similar situation “Gauge your situation, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing it, then don’t do it” (20:43). He continued to talk about what made him so optimistic and this made me reflective. I had never discussed this with Jonathan so deeply before. And while I already viewed myself as someone who was accepting of gay people and people of different sexualities, I was never given the perspective of what it felt like to be gay. And with one of his final statements, he summed up how we both felt “People should and can be more tolerant” (22:56).

I am Guilty Too

Society has a habit of wanting to change people. Individuals would like for everybody else to look like and behave like them. When people do not conform to the traditional ideas of what is acceptable, they become targets for discrimination and dehumanization. It has become easy for the modern person to assume that overt dehumanization is an issue that is locked away in the past, that somehow we as a modern society have moved past such behaviors. But reality would point to a different conclusion. Noah Hanratty is a freshman at the University of Missouri and knows first hand what it feels like to be dehumanized and to have to live in constant fear of how society will treat them. Noah is openly non-binary and uses they/them pronouns to describe themselves. Non-binary means that Noah wouldn’t say that they are male or female; instead, they are “Sitting happily in the middle” (21:37). This identification as non-binary goes against societal norms, in which everyone exists on a gender binary. For most people in society, gender is a check yes or no question, either you are male, or you are female. This exclusion from the social norm would make Noah stand out from other people and unfortunately bring on discriminatory behavior.

Noah Hanratty, Photograph of Self, Columbia Missouri, February 2019, All rights reserved.

This idea of being non-binary was mostly foreign to me before actually meeting Noah. I am a cisgender female, which means I was born a female and that’s how I identify now. During my time growing up and going through school I had been vaguely aware of people who were transgender or non-binary, but the idea of not fitting into the gender binary was never something that directly affected me, so I never thought I had a reason to consider it. However, being unwilling to try and understand the daily struggle that Noah and people like Noah were going through only added to their daily effort to have their identities recognized as valid. To not have your identity be considered valid is a dehumanization tactic to try and either get people like Noah to conform to societal standards or have people remove them from society. Noah’s mother even said, “That she’d never call me by those pronouns” (10:30). It seems to me that tactic that Noah’s mother is using is an attempt to try and have Noah conform to what society says Noah should be.

That conversation was not an isolated incident with Noah’s mother. Noah knows that their mother is “very religiously motivated when it comes to some things. And so she says that basically, she knows where I’m going” (11:48). It appears to me that Noah’s mother is trying to use religion, something that Noah grew up with, as a way to make them feel like how they identified was wrong, that they weren’t allowed to do that. I attend church and have heard the argument that she is making. It’s the idea that God created man and woman and that there is no in-between that can exist. By using religious arguments, she is trying to tell Noah that they need to change or else. It’s a thinly veiled threat that something will happen to them unless they start acting how religion says so. It is these sorts of threats that would make Noah feel unsafe and threatened. These threats are implying that Noah is some sort of “other” that does not belong in society; it’s a dehumanization tactic. It is important to note though that not all people who are religious believe this and behave this way. However, because of this argument that Noah has heard repeatedly from their mother they say, “I don’t feel safe in the church” (11:48). Which is understandable. If someone who claims to represent a particular religion were threatening me with Hell, I wouldn’t feel safe either.

But religion isn’t where Noah’s mother stopped in her attempt to have Noah conform. Noah asked their mother, “If I got married to a woman would you be there? And she said she didn’t know. And so just like that was the turning point” (10:45). This comment would appear to be an attempt by Noah’s mother to show that her support and love is conditional. If Noah doesn’t conform and marry a man, their mother may not come and support them at their wedding. Parents play such a vital role in weddings, so by saying that she might not be their Noah’s mother is saying that her support and by extension love, is dependent on Noah behaving as their mother would want them to. These comments made Noah feel so unwanted that they thought it was necessary to move out of their mother’s house. With the help of a friend Noah packed up all of their things and left the home that they had grown up in so that they could find a place where they felt accepted and validated. The emotional hardship of all of this was apparent for Noah, “You’re my mom, you’re supposed to be there for me” (12:36). By using her support as a tool to try and make Noah say that they are a female, Noah felt that their mother wasn’t doing what she was supposed to do as a mother.

When I first got to hear Noah’s story and hear about the things that were said to them, I was shocked, and I felt terrible. I wanted to be able to go back in time and stop any of this from happening to them. These comments that their mother had made seemed so blatantly dehumanizing and hateful, but I began to realize that it wasn’t just comments like that that would make Noah’s life more difficult. It was also people ignoring their struggle, which I was guilty of as well. I knew there were people when I was growing up and in high school that was transgender or non-binary, but I wasn’t sympathetic to their struggles because I believed it didn’t affect me. By standing by and not standing up for them in my school or not supporting them when they were going through similar experiences at home, I was also guilty of participating in the process of dehumanizing them. In ignoring the struggle of people around me, I was also a perpetrator of making people feel unsafe and unwelcome. I wasn’t creating an environment where it was okay to be whoever you were. Instead, I was perpetuating the idea that if you weren’t like me, then I didn’t have to care about you. Overt acts are not the only form of dehumanization. By ignoring people, ignoring their identity and their struggles, I also participated in the dehumanization process.

I have gone through much of my life believing that discrimination, dehumanization, and bigotry were small isolated issues. Overt hatred of people who are minorities existed primarily in the past. The few events that did occur were not indicative of most of society, and the perpetrators would be quickly apprehended. I was wrong. People go through life every day trying to avoid conflict. Noah describes it as “It’s kinda like when you’re walking down the street, and you see a frat boy and his friends. And you’re standing you’re like, oh no something could happen, something could happen, something could happen. And then when nothing happens, it’s just like a sigh of relief. Like okay, this time everything is fine. But it’s just kind of like you’re waiting for the dam to burst” (06:50). This perpetual fear that something could happen, whether it’s a physical confrontation or hate speech, exists in every moment of Noah’s life. In his film, Night and Fog Alain Resnais says, “There are those who look at these ruins to-day, as though the monster were dead and buried beneath them. … Those who pretend all this happened only once at a certain time and in a certain place — those who refuse to look around them. Deaf to the endless cry” (31:00). This film, in particular, is looking at the concentration camps and the hatred and antisemitism that caused it. He’s arguing that those hatreds still exist today. It’s foolish to believe that any form of hate or discrimination no longer exists.

However, there is hope for things getting better. For Noah, life has changed and improved with college. He’s found supportive friends and teachers that make him feel safe and that people care about them. That doesn’t mean the struggle is over, but things can get better. To continue to make the world a more accepting place Noah says, “I think it involves a lot of listening and trying to understand someone before attacking them” (22:25). By hearing Noah’s story, I’ve been able to better respond to the people around me who face persecution. By listening to people and attempting to understand them, we can begin undoing the process of dehumanization. I can’t fix the problems of dehumanization, but if I try to understand what the people who are facing it are going through and give them a place so that people can hear their voice, I can help make the change.