Vietnam – From Us To Them

My Friend, My Enemy

How many years have we waited?

How many days and nights have come and gone?

How many have we sacrificed?

For the ones that stood on our soil, in the name of righteousness.

How would you answer my question?

My friend, my enemy.

Driven by ignorance, they speak lies of us.

Driven by fantasies, they speak ill of us.

What else would be there to offer them?

Bitter truth? Virtuous suffering?

What say you,

My friend, my enemy.

I showed them my home, yet they won’t accept it.

I showed them my photographs, yet they deny them.

I showed them who I am, yet they do not see me.

I am nothing more than what they think.

How many years must we wait?

How many days and nights must come and go?

How many must we sacrifice?

Ah, my friend, my enemy. Must you look at me that way?

Please, smile.

Is it not something heroes do?

The interview with Khanh Bui sparked the fire for the creation of this poem. Khanh is a 24-year-old Vietnamese UMKC graduate who has lived in Kansas City, MO for the past 5 years. He has faced many challenges, from personal to legal. One of them is the generalization labeled on him based on his race and ethnicity. Something that he must face daily. The poem expresses the frustration, and anxiety he feels when those who do not know him label him in any way they want, but at the same time, the peace that he was able to develop throughout the years. “… I have learned to adapt to it. I have developed thick skin against those comments.” (18:35).

Street scene Hanoi.
Image: © kk nationsonline.org
https://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/vietnam.htm

‘My Friend, My Enemy’ is a title I found fitting to represent Khanh’s relationship and feelings with those that surround him. The people live and coexist peacefully with Khanh, but deep inside, there is still the lingering thought of the Vietnam War, like a scar that has fully healed but will never leave. “Whenever I meet new people in the U.S, and I say where I’m from. I get polarizing reactions. It’s either fascination, or it is negative…” (1:27).

The Hien Nhon gate, one of the four gates of the Forbidden City in Hue.
Image: © kk nationsonline.org
https://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/vietnam.htm

The misconception of Vietnam being a war-zone up to this day is not the only example of improper historical education in the United States. To this day, there are still many that believe that the United States had taken the lead on World War II against the Axis Powers. It was the Soviet Union, with the aid of its allies, including the United States, that led the final push against Germany, thus ending the conflict.

As someone who is also from a different country, I can relate to Khanh’s frustration due to the stereotypes labeled on him based on his race and ethnicity. But just like him, I have been able to develop a thick skin against such labels.

Overcoming Odds

This is a photo of David Bates at boot camp, on the back he wrote a note to his wife that said “To my pretty little wife, in this picture I am happy for I am standing in front of my country’s flag. I am proud to serve it. My life I would give for it. I love you and miss you”, 1962. All Rights Reserved.

I have always looked up to men and women in our military. I always thank them for their service and feel proud to meet them, as I am very patriotic. Although most American citizens are very patriotic and tend to thank service members, it has not always been this way. Veterans of the Vietnam war era were treated with utter disrespect and looked at in disgust by citizens. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my grandpa, David Bates, who I have always looked up to for his courage to serve and fight in a war that he believed in. David Bates was born and raised in Mississippi and lived in a large family, with a semi-abusive dad. My grandpa knew he had to get out of the house as soon as he could, so he joined the Army in May of 1962 and was stationed in Germany for roughly three and a half years.

After this duty station, he came back to the states when Vietnam was really starting. He volunteered to go to Vietnam, as he felt this was his duty. Little did he know at the time, that this war would affect him for the rest of his life. In our conversation I asked multiple questions about his experience in, and directly following, the Vietnam war, as well as how this affected him for the remainder of his life. “As far as persecution during Vietnam goes, we just never seemed to have enough of anything that we needed, including slicker suits and things like that. I towed a trailer with blown out tires 50 miles through the jungle and I just dragged it on the skids, and it was doing [uses his hand to demonstrate the movement of the trailer] and I finally pulled into the back gate with a trailer load of slicker suits. I also traded liquor to the marine who owned the trailer and we exchanged liquor for the trailer and slicker suits. That was the only way to get supplies we needed was to bribe people and we usually used liquor,” (11:59). I believe he was giving me a few examples of issues he was faced with during Vietnam that he considered persecutions. It’s hard to understand the necessities of war, as we have not experienced anything similar. This was an answer he had to my initial question of privations during Vietnam. Although to some this may seem a minor issue to the over-arching problem of Vietnam, however this greatly affected David’s experiences. While in war, being limited on supplies is very challenging and can make a tense environment even more hostile. To get what was needed soldiers, in this case David Bates, had to think outside the box so to speak. He had to trade with others to get gear his squad needed such as liquor for his “slicker suits”.

*This is a picture David took during the war of an Army truck that was broken down and how they turned it into a barrier to block enemy fire. All Rights Reserved.*

This is just one of many problems my grandpa had to overcome during the war. In Nazi-Occupied Europe and the Holocaust at University of Missouri-Kansas City, we read a graphic novel called Maus by Art Spiegelman. This was a story of Vladek and his experiences in Poland during WWII. Vladek was a very witty Jew who survived Auschwitz. In this story, he explains events where he was able to use his talents, and overcome obstacles, to stay alive during the Holocaust. This relates to my grandpa during Vietnam as both Vladek and my grandpa had to come up with ideas and make things to survive, such as when a truck got blown out from underneath him. They pushed the truck in a position to protect from enemy attacks [7:21]. Further into our discussion, I asked about any events he experienced after Vietnam war where he felt persecuted. What I heard him say was very hard for me to hear. “Well the first thing was when I got home, I was in the airports I’m sure you’ve heard, spit on, yelled at, called a war mongrel, baby killers, all kinds of stuff. Things thrown at us; I mean we were kind of shocked. I was because this was not the country that I left and it did something to me up here and it’s been here ever since,” (15:42).

Bates in the military. All Rights Reserved.

For someone who went and fought for what he believed in, this was devastating to come home to. I am sure he was expecting a hero’s welcome, although what he received has affected him for the rest of his life. It is hard enough having to live with the events and sights of Vietnam, but to come home and not receive any support from the rest of society pushed him into depression. This was very common for veterans coming home from the Vietnam war. For years after the war my grandpa was faced with several injuries in which he gained during the war and throughout his military training. He spent years going to the Veteran Affairs office and trying to explain his injuries and get some sort of disability, however, the workers (civilians) did not care about his injuries. One worker said, “Well you walked in here on your own two legs, didn’t you?” This quote signified that because he was still able to get around (just barely) that he didn’t deserve anything for his actions. “For all I gave my country I couldn’t believe they weren’t willing to give me anything in return,” (19:42). This was another major form of persecution that veterans faced following the war. A few years after his homecoming, he received a letter in the mail containing information proving that he was, in fact, in Agent Orange during the war. This was the proof he needed to take to the VA to get the benefits he deserved. He has suffered from diabetes and leg problems for the remainder of his life due to Agent Orange. This is his biggest challenge he still faces today, due to the stress and strain of war and the persecutions following. [My grandpa, Guidon Bearer, has always been proud to have served in the Army.]

This is David Bates pictured with his awards and memorabilia from his military career. He is very happy in this picture because society treats him with the respect and honor he was expecting following Vietnam

Regardless of all the rebuke he faced, David Bates to this day feels honored to have served and is proud to have accomplished what he has accomplished with the military. Against all odds, he still has patriotism and believes what he did was right and justified. He followed orders to the best of his ability, and did so with honor. He always fought hard and fought for what he believed in as well. Persecutions shows who we, as people, truly are deep inside, and my grandpa, David, was a good man. He was faced with extreme victimization and this has affected him to this day, mentally and physically. I wrapped our conversation up with some simple questions, one of which was if he felt as though America has gotten better with how they treat Vietnam veterans. He smiled and explained how he was very happy with how citizens treat him now. My grandpa proudly wears his service veteran hat wherever he goes and gets “Thank you” and “Welcome home”. These actions have made my grandpa feel at peace. David Bates was a man I have always looked up to and respect greatly. He fought for his country and did what is right. Throughout his entire life, he was faced with unjust actions and unfair people. He has overcome the odds and still says “I would do it all over again even if I knew the outcome,”. This demonstrates his character as a man and a patriot to America. I am proud to have him as a grandpa and a mentor. Now that I am new to the Air Force Reserves, I have gained a new sense of respect and hope to honor him, as I follow in his footsteps. He overcame all the odds against him and is still proud to have served our great country.

Stereotypical

Hello … “I am Vietnamese American” (00:28)

That is her difference or in other words, her origin

Her experiences made her feel out of place and separated

Does her appearance have to be questioned or debated?

Growing up was rough

And at times she felt like she had to be tough

But at the end of the day

All that matters is if Salina is okay

One time in Branson

A young white man yelled, “Are you African?” (04:00)

She found it pretty weird

That speaking her native language could be as odd as it appeared

Let’s take it back to when she was picked on

For being the only Asian American in her grade

Aren’t you supposed to be the one making the straight A’s?

She attended a predominantly white school

And that experience was the moment she realized her difference wasn’t ‘cool’

She wished she would have changed the school district

But that decision would have meant more conflict

Things never escalated to violence

And she definitely maintained her silence

But as Salina grew older

She become wiser and smarter

“I am not the typical petite, skinny, and short Asian girl” (00:28)

Some may cringe and stomachs may swirl

Or how about “you’re acting white” (02:00)

Why can’t we stop with the nonsense and just unite?

Kennedi Glass, Portrait of Salina Nguyen, Kansas City (University of Missouri-Kansas City), February 2019, All rights reserved.

Stereotypes can get carried away

Especially in our society today

That remains to be the biggest challenge she faces

And it can occur on a regular basis

For instance, let’s discuss her family

That gave her so much agony

“For the family members that were telling me that I was fat” (01:14 ; continued)

Are you not satisfied with my plump lips or that my stomach isn’t super flat?

Those words hurt deep inside

And was never pleasing in her eyes

Does she have to meet the standard?

Seems to me you’re more like a commander

Hearing “you’re fat” as a kid made things worse and unclear

If she were to start crying, would you be there to wipe the tear?

She even made a workout plan

Her brothers were two of her biggest fans

“If I’m skinny, I would be considered pretty or attractive” (00:31)

So she knew that she had to become more active

Do you understand that this affects your mental

But the words must’ve slipped out your mouth and were ‘accidental’

Why can’t we just empower one another

Instead of allowing others to break down and suffer

The name is Salina Nguyen and she was born in Kansas City

She celebrates her difference and has found her inner beauty

Back then, she tried to look like everyone else

But she soon realized that she didn’t have to ; she has to love herself

This interview was quite interesting

And our discussion was very intriguing

I asked her for advice to those in a similar situation

“Don’t give a [sic] what those people think” was her narration (2:23)

I felt the same way

Being judged for how we act or look is not okay

This is a norm in society

And to some, these views can cause anxiety

We didn’t discuss a lot about her culture or family background

Was she a refugee? The discussion would’ve had a huge turn around

Nothing was too extreme, just like Hitler and his persecution skemes

But I loved talking with my girl and her powerful words built my self esteem.

The Watchful Other

Don’t say, don’t do anything, just lay low, just don’t say anything. They’re everywhere, they control everything. They’re in my house, they control my money, they control my food.

I feel an outer eye that says I should be scared, but I’m not. The outer eye comprehends not what I go through. They harassed our family, they took away our business. They infiltrate our cities, they watch us, unseen from our eyes, just waiting for us to slip up and take us away.

Can’t trust anyone, they’re even in the people, waiting to rat on us like with Vladek. They’re in our heads, they talk to us, though we see them not—nor know them, they see us, and know us. They’re in the TV, they’re in the movies, they’re in the air, they’re everywhere.

Chung Truong, Photo of Chung Truong as a Child, Oxnard, March 2019. All rights reserved.

The outer eye doesn’t understand though, he’s too young, he doesn’t understand what he went through not. Outer eye don’t waste food, work hard. Don’t do this, don’t do that, obey, obey, obey them.

Our food stand was once sweet, now it’s only bitter. It seems they’ve put their hands in the food. I’m not sad, I’m happy, it’s empty, it means nothing to me, but I am grateful.

Analysis

First and foremost, before beginning to produce this poem, I decided to create my narrative in this format for various reasons. The deciding factor for writing a poem was to create confusion and use a form of expression that seemed very queer for the subject at hand. With communism comes uniformity and I thought that it would be almost “anti-communist” to express oneself differently. Even more so, I wanted to convey the message to the reader about the incomprehensible reality that certain groups of people went through, that even though we try relating and empathizing with people who have suffered a form of persecution or oppression, we can’t truly grasp what occurred.

When interviewing Chung, he quite frequently brought up how they were always watched. In the poem I referred to the communists as “They”, and to input myself into the poem I referred to myself as the “outer eye”—someone who could envision what was happening, who was external of the time in which those events occurred. The reason I was solely an eye, was that I thought I wanted to understand what he went through, I could not conceive what it could have been like and therefore I was not “fully human”. The presence of a being watching is everywhere, even within the page I put borders in the original document of red flowers to show the extent of their presence (the communist government)—“they’re everywhere, even within this page!” I tried to relate the poem to Vladek, how he had to be conscious of his actions, and try to remain hidden. In the context of keeping oneself inconspicuous, Chung’s family most likely had to behave more restrained due to the fact that he was Chinese-Vietnamese, and the Vietnamese did not like the Chinese because of propaganda and a perceived threat of the Chinese being spies.

Lastly, the most significant metaphor I used, in my opinion, was, “Our food stand was once sweet, now it’s only bitter. It seems they’ve put their hands in the food.” I chose to say this because my dad’s family did have a food stand, but more than that I wanted again to paint that “they’re” involved in all their affairs, they are constantly oppressing people—having their hands in everyone’s business.