I first met my friend Jill quite recently, actually over this past summer. We were both in the same summer program here at UMKC, and over the course of the whole thing we ended up becoming really good friends. We have spent a lot of time together over this school year and in that time I’ve come to learn and understand a lot about her and her life. So obviously when I had to interview someone from a different background I choose her because we are so close and at the same time very different in many ways. Jill is from St. Louis and is half Filipino since her mom, who was adopted into her family, is fully Filipino and her dad is white. Naturally, this is very different from my racial background, being a white guy from Kansas City, so she has had a very different experience growing up from me. Over the course of my interview with her, she told me about many different events in her life and the main thing that stood out to me was how people, like her classmates, treated her at school since she was half Filipino. When I asked her if she could think of anytime she was treated differently because of her race her mind immediately went to her early school life. Jill had gone to a predominantly white school and she claims that about 7% of the kids at the school were in a minority group and that out of that 7% she was the only Filipino one in the bunch. She always felt like she never really had a group to fit into like the other kids of color who all had there own little cliques and this made a big impact on how she acted throughout these years and what she thought of herself. She described in detail how she would usually try and tag along with the Asian girls in her school since they were the closest thing to Filipino. The problem was in many Asian communities those who are Filipino are seen as the lowest of the low and treated as less than the other Asian racial groups. Almost every day some of her “friends” would make racial jokes at her expense or make comments on how she looked. She would often laugh along with them and make these same jokes herself. She did this in order to gain their approval and to continue to be there friend. She explains, “To some extent you get desensitized and you rely on your sense of humor just revolving around making people laugh” (interview transcript 4:30). This sort of cycle continued well into her years in high school and as she got older she realized more and more how much she didn’t like being made fun of because of who she was. She began to look more into what exactly it means to be Filipino since she and her mom are the two only Filipinos in her whole family. She told me how she started to take pride in her heritage and would tell her friends to stop making those jokes. She admitted that at this point because of her change in opinion she drifted apart from her high school friends but she believes that this was a good thing and showed her who her real friends were.
After hearing Jill recount her earlier years in school I was immediately struck by how different yet similar our two experiences were. You see, from a very young age, I was diagnosed with two learning disorders known as dyslexia and dysgraphia as well as an allergy to peanuts. I went to a very small private school and was the only kid there who had these disorders and an allergy. Right from the getgo, like Jill, I was seen as different from all of my other classmates. Often people would make jokes about how I couldn’t write or read as good as the other kids in my class since both of my disorders affected reading and writing. My handwriting to this day is barely legible to anyone other than myself and I learned to fluently read a whole year behind my classmates and still make spelling and grammar mistakes regularly. My classmates would frequently comment on how I couldn’t eat peanut butter and at times would often flaunt it in front of me mocking how I cowered away from it. Needless to say, like Jill, I never experienced a feeling of comradery or friendship in our early years at school. However, we both still had vastly different experiences through life as I could hide the things that made me stand out where she never could. Her story deeply affected me and made me reflect on all of those previously mentioned experiences in my life. After the interview, we talked about it and how in grade school kids would often treat anyone who was different from them and had no group to associate with, with borderline malice. In a way, it makes sense since children will often feel threatened when presented with something they haven’t seen before and try to stay as far away from it as possible. However this in no way justifies this behavior, as no one in any circumstance should be treated unfairly and poorly because of there differences and unique qualities. We both also wondered if things have changed and personally I believe they both have and haven’t changed simultaneously. I feel that when it comes to discrimination based on race things have improved if only by a small margin. But when it comes to bullying I feel that if anything that it has gotten worse. In person and physical attacks may have decreased but with the popularity of social media and the online world, many youths will bully and discriminate online. Scroll to any comments section and there is a large wealth of evidence for my claim. By hearing Jill’s story I got some more enlightenment on my life and the things I have essences as well as others and how they have been treated.
I feel that the piece of literature that best connects with this story is the graphic novel “Maus” by Art Spiegelman. In this graphic novel Spiegelman recounts the story of his father’s life during the Holocaust and the trials he had to face. As you may have guessed Arts father experienced much discrimination and unfair treatment for being Jewish. Like Jill, he was treated differently and negatively due to his race and things about himself he could not help. Now, unlike Jill, in many situations Arts father had to deal with the threat of being hurt or killed or having his family taken away throughout his whole experience. He also went through the awful experience of living in a concentration camp for a long period of time and seeing his family members and friends get killed. Despite this, his story and Jill’s share striking similarities. The biggest one to me was the fact that both Jill and Art’s father had to try and fit in and hide who they were in order to be accepted by their peers and stay safe. I find it very interesting how three completely different stories can have many things in common.
This story is very specific but yet so universal to explain how people are affected by what they are born with vs others who are different. The fact that everyone in the world is unique from each other is an amazing and fascinating thing about life. However, people like to use things to their advantage by focusing on the differences between each other in a negative way and segregates everyone from each other. Nicholas states from the interview that “Almost every day some of her “friends” would make racial jokes at her expense or make comments on how she looked. She would often laugh along with them and make these same jokes herself. She did this in order to gain their approval and to continue to be there friend.” It is crazy to see first-hand encounters of bullying and discrimination of people, especially someone as young as she was in school. This could be partly due to kids learning how popularity works and they tend to put other people’s considerations out of the way, in order to benefit themselves only. In the interview about a race called “My Friend Jill” written by Nicholas Alan Wolfe, he focuses on how different stories can still have many connections between them. However, there was no real discussion on a solution to the problem, just a comparison of it from the past and the present. Nicholas states “I feel that when it comes to discrimination based on race things have improved if only by a small margin. But when it comes to bullying, I feel that if anything that it has gotten worse. In person and physical attacks may have decreased but with the popularity of social media and the online world, many youths will bully and discriminate online.” Seems to me from his viewpoint there isn’t much of a solution. The only way to prevent this is to stop these one-sided viewpoints from spreading. You should not have to hide but to just be yourself and if you receive hate then return kindness right back at them.