For 18 years, Anthony had grown up in Austin, Texas. He recently moved to Kansas City, Missouri to go to the University of Missouri- Kansas City, to get his Bachelor of Arts in Journalism. I am also a student at the University of Missouri- Kansas City. Unlike Anthony, I have lived in Kansas City, Missouri most of my life. I was also born in Texas, and shortly after I was born, we moved to North Carolina for my dad’s job. My dad was unhappy with the job in North Carolina, so we moved to Kansas City, and we couldn’t be happier. Kansas City is such a unique city where you can find a place you belong very easily. Anthony and I have one thing in common, and that is that we were both raised Catholic. The one big difference is that we both had very different experiences with the church.
When I was 4 years old, I was baptized Catholic. I did not get a choice, nor did Anthony. The big difference between our stories is that I went to catholic school for 16 years. I was surrounded by people with the same beliefs as me, and at the beginning of every class we start the class off with a prayer. Anthony did not get this. His parents made him go to Religious education class once a weekend because he went to public school. Anthony then came out to his family as gay when he was around 16 years old. Our faith journeys are very different.
Anthony was born into the Catholic Church; his parents chose his religion for him. He was baptized as a baby and went through the sacraments (baptism, first communion, reconciliation, confirmation). Anthony has always thought of church as being a burden. When he was younger, he never wanted to go to church and, since he went to a public school, his parents made him go to religious education classes and youth group. When Anthony turned 16, he realized he still was not interested in church and decided that his ideas did not align with the Catholic church. Since Anthony was so young, he did not get any say in if he wanted to be a part of the Catholic church or not. When asking Anthony if he wished he got the choice to decide if he wanted to be Catholic or not, he responded by saying, “I would say probably no. Being raised in the Catholic church has opened my eyes to this and is something I don’t really want to be apart of. Even though I might have had a few struggled and I felt a little awkward at times to be part of the church. I think growing up that way really made me realize that I had my own viewpoints separate than my parents and family had,”(3:44). This, for me, was very hard to hear because I was also raised Catholic and went to 16 years of Catholic school. It was heart breaking to hear that Anthony didn’t appreciate Catholicism as much as I do.
Anthony came out as gay in 2015 when he was 16 years old. For Anthony this was hard because he knew that being Catholic and gay was something that was difficult to achieve . A lot of old fashion Catholic’s do not support gays, and Anthony knew this. Anthony knew he had some struggles coming his way. The first people Anthony came out to were his parents. In the interview Anthony said, “My mom was really upset. She started crying and talked about how disadvantaged I was going to be. But my dad could tell. He had an idea and he was more okay with it, I guess you could say. As far as my extended family, I really did not feel like it was necessary because they all lived outside of Texas so I felt like it wouldn’t have made a difference if I came out to them. I really didn’t see a point,” (4:03). Imagine not having your mom not totally on board with your sexuality. That in itself must have been extremely hard. Anthony’s mom since then learned to accept him for who he really is. No one in Anthony’s family knows that he is gay besides his parents and his sister. He isn’t hiding it from his other family he just doesn’t see them and doesn’t find it super important to tell them. In the interview, Anthony said that he waited a while to tell his sister just because they are 15 years apart and he is not that close with her.
I asked Anthony if he would consider himself Catholic and his answer was, “At the moment I do not know. This is something I have struggled with for the pasted few years whenever people ask me what religion I am or if I am Catholic. I just don’t think I should entirely separate myself from the church. I am afraid to do it honestly,”(6:53). Anthony admitted that it is hard being gay and Catholic because he said when he came out, he started to judge the people in his church because he assumed, they were judging him. Anthony now has learned that no one is really judging him and that he is invited and welcomed into his church. Anthony, throughout his life, has struggled being gay. In the interview I asked him how being gay effected his self-image and he said, “I think for a while even after I came out I guess I really didn’t want to be perceived as gay even though I had come out. I just didn’t want to be looked down upon me. I didn’t want people to see me and be like that person is gay. I didn’t have a problem with being gay, I was just afraid of the perception people would have of me. I was afraid people would look less of me or they wouldn’t want to be friends with me because I was gay,”(2:30). This interview was so interesting to me because I have never had to experience wondering if I was accepted in my church or not. I have always just thought I was loved and accepted by my church community. Anthony is a very strong person to have to question whether or not he is accepted at such a young age. Since getting to college, Anthony has realized that he does not get treated differently because of his sexuality. He feels like he is accepted and welcomed at the University of Missouri- Kansas City.