By Emily Mathis
The first time he hit me I was so scared and shocked that I stayed. After that it was a continuous cycle of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse followed by guilt, blame, and manipulation to get me to stay. I left him after the third time. I am one of the lucky ones. I know that. Every day victims of domestic violence are seriously injured or even killed. According to some statistics, domestic violence is the number one cause of injury in women between the ages of 15-44. That’s more than car accidents, muggings and rape combined. Not to mention that according to the Domestic Violence Resource Center more than three women and one man are killed every day by domestic violence.
I was only 17 when it happened to me. I’m sure there were signs but at 17 how could I be expected to recognize them? Well maybe that’s where we start-with education. Teaching kids, teens, and young adults what is a healthy relationship and what an abusive relationship looks like is important. We need to be teaching everyone what to do if you find yourself in an abusive situation. I turned to my friends at the time. It was the blind leading the blind. But what if my friends had heard about what you do in these situations? Maybe I would have gotten help sooner than I did. There is no one to blame in these situations except for the perpetrator.
With 1 in 4 teenage girls assaulted by their boyfriends, it is time that we broaden our focus to include younger generations. If you stop it early it will be less likely to get to a critical point in the future. But along with teaching kids, teenagers and young adults, we need to be raising awareness among people of all walks of life because domestic violence knows no race, ethnicity, or class. This is one of our nation’s serious problems and it needs to be handled as such.
Here are some links if you or someone you know is in trouble or you just want more information:
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Some local information:
I’m so glad you are helping raise awareness. It is so sad to think out children and teens need to know about this sensitive and serious topic, but it is reality. I’m so proud of you being the voice we all need to hear. Thank you for being willing to share from your heart and your own experience. I know that it is saving lives!
Emily, this is awesome. It takes much courage to write about such personal experiences and for doing so I applaud you. Hopefully someone will benefit and turn their own life around after reading this and the attached links. Keep up the inspiring work.
Very powerful, Emily! I will be a part of educating the teens I work with, my students and my own children. Continue being the voice for those who do not have one! YOU ROCK! 🙂
Very well written Emilie! So VERY sad nut true!!!! I totally agree with you education is key to putting a stop to this horror so many young girls and women face.
Speaking as mother of an former abused young women I am all too familiar with this! The education needs to start at home with self esteem and carry through our school systems wirh availabe resources!
I am so proud of you for the courage you’ve shown sharing you story!! I know lives have been and will continued to be changed by this.
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