by Morgan Paul
I’ve been thinking a lot about masculinity lately and it’s really scary when we realize that all of these things that many of us say that we’re against are actually internalized. Over the weekend I was hanging out with my brother. He’s 25, married and has a daughter. My brother is very protective of all of the women in my family and in his life and is by no means a supporter of violence against women, yet when a buddy of his was telling him about a vinyl decal for the back of a truck that looked like there was a woman tied up he said “That’s awesome.” My brother, the man who would not think twice about spending the rest of his life in prison to protect a perfect stranger, said that it was awesome to “joke” about a girl being kidnapped. This has really been bothering me because I really don’t believe that it’s something he agrees with, but his misogyny is so internalized that he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. We wonder why there’s such a problem with violence against women, it’s because we are all taught that it’s okay! Though the lessons may not be outright, actions speak way louder than words. By turning these situations into jokes, we’re saying that all of these problems and worries that women deal with on a daily bases are not valid. Yes, internalized problems like this are difficult to change but we’ll never know if we don’t try.