By Brianna Green
It seems silly to write about my grandfather as a grandmother figure, but he was the person who came to my mind. My grandfather has been gone for almost decade now. He died suddenly from a heart attack in his early seventies. A week after his funeral, my grandmother found out she had stage four lung cancer and died four months later. My mom likes to say that God took my grandfather first because He knew that my grandfather wouldn’t have been able to handle my grandmother’s death (the year they died, they would’ve celebrated their fiftieth anniversary).
My grandfather was a funny man. He chain-smoked cigarettes like it was nobody’s business. (Seriously, he’d start a cigarette in one room, leave it there, go to a different room, and immediately light a new one.) He made inappropriate jokes about people’s looks and loved saying “God damn it” at least 20 times a day. But all of his weird quirks are things that we love to reminisce about now and make fun of him for. My dad is great at impersonating my grandfather, it’s almost uncanny. We all love and miss him and my grandmother a lot.
My grandfather didn’t teach me much about my family history nor about the traditions we might have had. However, he did teach me two things (unintentionally, I think). First, he taught me to love everyone equally. Don’t get me wrong, I love and miss my grandmother, but she had a favorite grandchild, and everyone knew it. She doted on and spoiled my older brother (the only grandson), so my grandfather would show a little extra love to me and my two girl cousins. He made sure that we felt loved too while at their house.
Secondly, he taught me to live a good life and not be scared of death. I’m still extremely scared to die, but I want to make sure I live a good, fulfilling life so when I am older and closer to death’s door, I’m not scared. I asked my grandfather once if he was scared to die (a year or two before he did), and he said no. He was happy with how his life was and he was ready to go whenever it was his time. His words have always stuck in my mind and I hope I’m as satisfied when it’s my time to go.
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This story is part of Her Life as Art: Coming Together Through Grandmother Stories, a unique, multi-dimensional, week-long series of events celebrating the wisdom and legacy of the grandmother figures in our lives, taking place Nov. 6 – 12, 2021 at the Kansas City United Church of Christ, 205 W. 65th St. KCMO, 64113. We invite you to view the art exhibit and attend other related events. For details, please visit www.kcucc.org.