Ebony Taylor

Before I Let Go…

By: Ebony Taylor

Right when I finally memorize all of the login passwords and am confident enough to say that I know what I’m doing, my final days at The Women’s Center are here. As a senior intern, I felt this job was only a requirement for graduation, just get through it and you’re done. I realized quickly that that was not the case. I am glad to have had a role that challenged me mentally and emotionally this semester. Having taken Women and Gender Studies classes in the past, I would not have called myself a feminist back then, for fear that I would be labeled as a “man-hater” or receive strange looks from others.

Even as I stumbled through my first event that I helped program, I was determined to not make the same mistakes again. This internship taught me to embrace the unknown and learn to ask questions. Believe me, I had a lot of them! I also credit my coworkers, peers, and directors for inspiring me to put my whole self into my work, and I think that has been reflected in the work I have done this semester. There are only so many things that can be learned from the classroom, the others by experiencing them. I will honestly say that that those I have worked with this semester were truly amazing and I am honored to have been a part of such a great team. From the open and deep conversations about any topic, the laughs shared in the office, to the many collaborations on projects, it has been a memorable experience at the Women’s Center. I am now proud to wear my “This is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt in honor of what The Women’s Center represents and what we offer to UMKC.

My only regret is that I did not participate in past Women’s Center events or work study in my early years at UMKC. I hope to take my new and restructured skills of organization, marketing, and coffee-making with me into post- graduation roles and hope to see the future of the Women’s Center advance the programs left behind by the Class of 2022.

Hasta la vista, UMKC!

Women Who Lead, Read

By: Ebony Taylor

Women’s Center Library, 105 Haag Hall

Since starting college, there has been little time, if at all, that I have gotten to sit down, pick up a book, and read. No distractions, no emails, no assignment deadlines, just me and the smell of printed paper.  As a book lover, I came across a list of feminist-written reads that I had to share. If you have already been introduced to the world of feminist writing, or are just getting started, this list is compiled with reads from feminist thinkers and novelists to poets and producers of feminist pornography. There is something for all. I have picked 7 books that I think I would want to pick up, but you should visit Esquire to get the entire list.  If you want even more feminist reading, don’t forget to check out our Women’s Center library, located in our office at 105 Haag Hall! 

 This collection of essays and poems are from women of color who raise awareness for issues that women continue to face. This book is said to connect with women of all ages, race, and genders.  

This witty, humorous collection of stories recounts memories from the author’s life and identity as a Native American woman.  Midge reflects on feminism, tweeting presidents, and white-bread privilege. Enjoy Midge’s urban-Indigenous identity and how it has impacted her ideas on culture, race, media, and feminism. 

Rana el Kaliouby is entrepreneur and scientist, working in the field of emotional intelligence, Emotional AI,  and cofounder and CEO of Affectiva, a start-up company spun off of MIT Media Lab. This book is a memoir that highlights the conflict between her Egyptian upbringing and her goals in life. 

This book shows how men express emotions in different stages of life, status, and ethnicity and how toxic masculinity skews men away from an important part of themselves. It discusses men’s concerns, like the fear of intimacy and their role as patriarchs in society.  

 We already know stories of magical creatures and witches, but Circe recreates the sorceress from Homer’s Odyssey in a feminist light. The overlooked character of Circe gives rise to her independence in a male-dominated world.   

A collection of writings from feminists in the adult entertainment industry and research by feminist porn scholars. This book investigates how feminists understand pornography and how they produce, direct, act in, and buy a into a large and successful business. Authors of these writings also explore pornography as a form of expression where women produce power and pleasure.  

Serano writes about her journey before and after transitioning, expressing how fear, suspicion, and dismissiveness towards femininity molds society’s view on trans women, gender and sexuality. Serano also proposes that feminists today and transgender activists must collaborate to embrace all forms of femininity.  

Sex Sells…But at What Cost?

By: Ebony Taylor 

Ever watched a movie or tv show based in high-school? Think about the female characters. There’s often a character who’s a “school slut” or girl who wears revealing clothing. She is almost always over-sexualized. Reporters have noticed the almost obsessive need to sexualize the teenage experience, especially with Gen-Z. As a borderline millennial myself, I do not think movies and tv shows accurately represent teen life because the film industry has a skewed view of the high school experience. A more recent example is HBO’s Euphoria, a show meant to portray the mind of young teens.  

Although I have not watched the show, many critics of the show feel its objectification of underaged girls is an issue. The Daily Targum, an online newspaper, mentions that Hollywood has a history of setting unrealistic beauty standards, focusing on the women characters’ sexual development. This may have to do with men filling writing and directing roles, and that female characters are being used to appeal to the male eye.

This idea was brought to my attention on Euphoria,  because the writer and director of the show is also male. Are male writers and directors conscious of how they’re portraying women? Those who have watched Euphoria  agree that the show is not shy about displaying nudity. With the numerous sex, nude, and drug scenes, the Guardian writes that younger audiences may be accidental targets. From featuring former Disney costars, attractive models, to a soundtrack made of popular artists, I can see how this show would be appealing to them.   

The main topic of discussion here is to consider how society imposes sexuality on young girls. Media outlets like social media, tv shows, and movies impact girls and their mental health. Sexualization in media suggests that being “sexy” is liberating and powerful. However, when girls are exposed to unrealistic portrayals of girls their age, it can lead to internal conflict, confusion, self-loathing, according to a Verywell Mind article. Not only do media platforms persuade young girls to express their sexuality, but they open a channel for them to do it.  

Due to labor laws, directors may cast women to play the roles of high school-aged girls. I was shocked to learn that actress Rachael McAdams was 25 when she starred in Mean Girls  as a high school bully. The Daily Targum gave an opinionated review that though the sex lives of teens cannot be completely censored, it is a “fine line between sexualizing young women and being informative on how teens view and experience sexual activities.” It can give teens the wrong perception, that what they see (a grown, developed, working woman) is how they should look in high school. Granted, some girls develop more than others in their teens, but these films and shows are setting the bar almost impossibly high for growing girls.  

For social media outlets, there is a negative side to sexual exposure. The American Journal of Psychiatry mentions Nancy Jo Sales, writer of American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers, who concludes that social media can reinforce sexism and objectification. Many times, young girls are sent unwanted penis pictures, pressured to send nude photos, or portray themselves in a sexualized way to compete with other girls for “likes” online. It’s not only happening in the media, but in other parts of teen’s life. The answers for why girls’ sports feel that they need to dress in more revealing uniforms, why women who are more endowed and shapely play high schoolers, or why sex scenes can’t be censored and have to be shown repeatedly, can only come from females in the media industry. There need to be more women in the media to stop the sexualization of girls and young women. Female writers, directors, other creatives could help create realistic portrayals of women in the media. Stricter and more protective laws for women can also ensure safety for women of all ages.  

The Weight of Diet Culture


By: Ebony Taylor

In celebration of Everybody is Beautiful Week, I want to share my journey of accepting my body. Body confidence took me a while to conquer, and I still struggle with keeping it intact some days. With all the social media influence and diet culture being a trend, it’s hard to not compare yourself. It wasn’t until freshman year of college that I started to realize who I was apart from my insecurities. Attending a big university, there were people of every shape, size, and body type. They say college is where you find yourself and I would agree. Living on campus, I could choose who I wanted to be, what that person looked like, and how to make the new me happy. There are days when I can wear a fitted dress or crop top and feel the most confident. Then diet culture and social media can make me second guess myself.

For those not familiar with the term diet culture, the term refers to societal expectations that determine a person’s worth by valuing ‘thinness and attractiveness’ over emotional well-being. Diet culture focuses on calorie restriction, “good and bad” foods, and normalizes self-critical talk about oneself. According to UC San Diego Recreation, this toxic idealization and obsession with physical appearance can be a risk factor for body dysmorphia and eating disorders. I did not realize how much I used to talk bad about my body and how those comments left a feeling of imperfection.

The Freshman 15 (when attending MU, it was the Mizzou 22, yikes!) was something I experienced over time. Add bloating, inactivity for a short while, and then COVID’s “pandemic pounds”, I noticed I didn’t fit into the same clothes. Family members would point out that I was heavier or say things like, “that [outfit piece] used to fit looser, didn’t it?” Unconsciously, I was engaging in diet-culture behavior. I didn’t realize at first that I was avoiding going to the gym or participating in group workouts because I felt I didn’t have the “right appearance”.

Social media constantly portrays what girls and women “should” look like. On Instagram, I couldn’t scroll for five minutes without seeing a post about restrictive eating or pictures of women modeling body types that didn’t portray the average woman. That’s when I knew I had to change my habits, leading to me deleting all my social media. I cannot express the feeling of that weight being removed. No more filtering photos. No more wasting time finding the “perfect” picture to post. I focused on accepting my body the way it was while learning healthier habits that were achievable for me, not what others’ claim works on everyone else.

So, for my journey and others walking their own, this last week of February is a reminder to focus on you and your body, listen to your body, and treat it kindly. If you came to the Every Body is Beautiful Information Table event, the Women’s Center partnered with other campus organizations, worked together to bring awareness to body image, body positivity, and eating disorders because every body is, indeed, beautiful. Take care of it because you only have one.

 

Sliding from DMs into Real-Life Dating

Source: Creative Commons, https://foto.wuestenigel.com/online-dating-sending-online-gifts-to-lover/

By: Ebony Taylor

Valentine’s Day is approaching once again. For starters, there is a lot of conversation around this holiday being extremely heteronormative. Simply put, there are a lot of stressors put on being relationships and what that should look like. Though we have come a long way with recognizing and accepting other’s perception of “relationship”, Valentine’s Day celebrations, focus on heterosexual and monogamous romantic relationships which leaves out aromatic and asexual people, as Sian Ferguson from everydayfemisim.com points out.

With so much emphasis on finding love and being boo’d up on V-day, it doesn’t make it easier when we have been in a pandemic. Coming out of isolation and getting back to human interaction can be nerve-wracking. Without pandemic restrictions, “going out” means you can leave the house. If you’re making the switch from online dating to in-person dating, I have searched the internet for tips on making it as stress-free as possible.

For starters, you still want to be safe and setting boundaries before linking up can help. If it is important to you, making sure your partner is vaccinated, wearing masks, or limiting personal touch are some things to consider. I found it helpful that apps like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Match, OKCupid, BLK, and Chispa have a feature that shows a person’s vaccination status. Also, establish physical, sexual, and emotional boundaries. Talking about sexual orientation and gender identities is another conversation to be had in the world of online dating and meeting someone for the first time. Be mindful and respect others’ views on certain topics to avoid misunderstandings and conflict. Being clear and direct can save you time and undeserved stress later down the road. Communicating with your partner about your needs and what feels good for you can help the transition run smoother.

As for wanting ways to celebrate love as you see it and not what it “should” be, the first thing on any site’s list is practicing self- love. Though this needs to be normalized throughout the year, what better time is there than on Valentine’s Day? Forget the marketing and capitalistic ways of our society to make you think that if you’re not spending money on someone then you don’t love them. Get crafty and make your own gifts, or rather show your love with quality time.

Being back on campus can create a social pressure to make friends and be more involved on campus. Those feeling anxious about putting yourself out there, know that it is more normal than you think. Try not to let in-person dating give you anxiety. With a pandemic still lingering around, feeling anxious is okay. No need to rush. Set limits and boundaries that allow you to move at your own speed and you the most comfortable. When you be yourself, the confidence will take the weight of social pressures off.

If you are single, newly single, or just ready to mingle, remember to take your time and be yourself. So what if people try to compare you to your “virtual” self, or your connection only exists in text messages and DMs? In the words of pop princess Ariana Grande, say “thank you, next”. Instead, go out with your friends or favorite family members. Or better yet, make it about loving yourself. Getting comfy by yourself with your favorite sweatpants, food, and a movie sounds like a memorable date to me.

 

 

 

Ebony Taylor Joins Women’s Center Staff

By Ebony Taylor

Hi! My name is Ebony Taylor. I am a senior this semester and graduating in the Spring of 2022. I started my academic journey as a transfer student from Mizzou, on track to get a bachelor’s degree in Health Sciences. After my mom was diagnosed a second time with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, UMKC warmly welcomed me as a Roo during my sophomore year. My advisors and professors helped me succeed as a student while I took care of my mom.

Three years later, my mom is cancer-free, and I am enjoying my last semester as a Roo! After graduation, I plan to attend a Physician Assistant program, preferably somewhere with more stable weather than Kansas City. I did not have as much of a “college experience” as my peers did, only getting involved when I had free time, which was rare in my beginning years at UMKC. You may recognize me from working at Swinney with UMKC Athletics or from a class in the past, but now you can find me at the Women’s Center!

I first came across the Women’s Center on Instagram when I noticed the events and programs offered catering to the topic of women’s inequality. Growing up, it was standard that women had to protect themselves, watch their surroundings, and be on alert at any time in their lives. The pressing issue did not come into focus until my first year of college. I attended a predominantly white institution, or PWI, with a history of racial injustice. On the campus tour, a few students told my group that there were certain places that black students should avoid on campus. I realized there was a real problem with inequality because of what I identified as. I had to be on high alert because I was a woman, because I was a woman in college, and because I was a woman who was Black. These were all vastly different classifications not to be confused with each other. After taking a global health course, I learned more about women and gender issues. I hope to learn more about protecting, advocating, and supporting all of those embraced through the Women’s Center. I enjoy all things Greek mythology and am a big Harry Potter fan. I believe books are always better than the movies, and I am always up for new ways to showcase my artistic skills!