By Brianna Green
I have dated a lot of people over the past several years. I’ve had a lot of good experiences… and I’ve had a lot of bad ones. My most recent dating experience was one of the worst.
I had been seeing someone for almost a month, then we started arguing. We argued for about a week before I decided to end things. We had plans to meet in person to talk, but I decided to end things over the phone instead. I had a feeling it would go badly in person. The phone call took less than 5 minutes and I thought that would be that. But here I am telling this story.
He calls me a week later hoping that I had realized I made a mistake and that we could get back together. I told him I needed some time to think about it. Two days go by and he calls me again. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it much and I wanted to talk to my therapist about it later that week, but his phone calls were making me upset and confused, so I decided to stick to my decision about ending things.
Several days later I go to therapy. My therapist helps me work out my feelings and I feel a lot better about the situation. I was sad and angry that things had ended the way they did, but it was time to move on. After therapy, I made a Facebook post about the feelings I had been having and how grateful I was to be in therapy. And, of course, he reached out to me about the post that same day. We talked and decided to meet up that night (because I make “good” decisions). The meet up actually went pretty well and we decided to start talking again and plan a date for the following week.
But over the next two days I realized the reconciliation was not a good idea. I ended things in the first place for a reason, and I was disappointed in myself for getting back together with him. It felt like I was letting myself down and throwing away whatever progress I had made in therapy. So I message him the next morning saying I was sorry but that talking to him again was bad for my mental health and not a good idea. After I sent the message, I blocked him. The back-and-forth needed to stop.
Unfortunately, blocking someone doesn’t mean it’s over. Come back for Part 2 to learn what happened after I blocked him.
Harassment and domestic violence disproportionately affect women and other gender minorities. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, but as we move into November, remember: “each day, members of our community miss class or work because they are facing domestic violence.”