by Jenna Gilio
On this week’s episode of We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon and her wife, Abby, discuss their experience of balancing their queerness and spirituality while combatting institutions that require them to deny themselves. Abby tells the story of her involvement with the Christian Church from a very young age. Abby shares that, though she felt deeply connected to certain aspects of the Church, she ultimately decided to abandon her religion altogether, because she did not feel she was accepted there. The message Abby received was that she could not be both gay and a Christian.
This story – Abby’s experience – causes Glennon to pose the following question to listeners: “Can I disagree with you and still love you?” Glennon asserts the answer to this question is no. She argues the word “disagree,” is disguised as a nicer, softer way to say “reject.” When you interchange these words, the question becomes, “Can I reject you and still love you?”, and the answer becomes a lot simpler.
Glennon and Abby discuss how some people and institutions who hold anti-queer beliefs are not as blatant as others. However, Glennon states that there is no such thing as an anti-queer private belief. In her words, “You are either for us or you are against us. There is no complicit middle.” She argues that there is no place for silence when it comes to anti-queer ideas. Glennon’s sister, Amanda, adds, “Those who are not dealing with this trauma need to work to create a world in which people don’t have to throw away what they need from a place because society has allowed it to become so unhospitable for them.”
Glennon wraps up the podcast by tying in Abby’s story. She asserts that it is indeed possible to have a spiritual community, if that is something you desire, without abandoning yourself. In her words, no one should have to “break themselves” to fit at the table. However, she stresses the importance of knowing when it’s time to either “raise hell inside of” or leave the institutions that require you to deny who you are or what you know is true. She adds, “Question when you are asked to swallow something that insults your soul.”
This week’s Next Right Thing is this: Is there anything that is tolerated or allowed to grow in the spaces you are involved in that you are currently complicit about and may require you to speak up? I will be pondering this question throughout my week. If you are interested in joining me as a member of my “Pod-Squad,” you can listen to You Can Do Hard Things through most podcast services, including Apple Podcasts, Audible, and Spotify. Remember, when this week gets hard, we can do hard things!