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FAQs for feminists, and what I say back

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by Thea Voutiritsas

Feminism (n.) is officially defined as the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.  So, why do people ask me if I hate men? What do feminists do? Is feminism even necessary anymore? Aren’t we all equal already? These are the kinds of questions classmates and coworkers ask me, and even my friends.  Maybe these questions can be seen as a nuisance, but I see them as a chance to open up a conversation. Finally, someone gave me an open door! And I stay ready to take advantage of it.

Once, a coworker asked me, “So you, like, hate men, right?” To which I replied, “Of course not.

“Well, you’re a feminist? Don’t you wanna ‘crush the patriarchy,’ or whatever?” he asked.

I tried to hide my excitement. Honestly, I was just happy that someone actually cared enough to ask. I told him that I didn’t think feminism was anti-male. It pushes for equality. I told him that I imagine he probably wants equality too, and that the patriarchy doesn’t help with that. It places expectations on both him and me to act a certain way, and I didn’t think we had to abide by those expectations. I believe we should be free to be who we are, and to pursue what we want without the social roadblocks that are tied to gender.

I was happy to explain that feminism isn’t tied to aggression, and I was overjoyed to see that someone not only saw me as a feminist, but saw me as someone they could ask about it.

1 thought on “FAQs for feminists, and what I say back”

  1. Thank you for sharing. It’s a great reminder that when we interact with individuals who think feminism equals man-hating to not think, “Oh great, here’s another one,” and rather, “Oh great, here’s another chance to set the record straight!”

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