by Armelle Djoukoue
“You pushed my buttons. If you had just left me alone I wouldn’t have hurt you!”
The month of October has been designated as National Domestic Awareness Month. During this month the Women’s Center and the Violence Prevention and Response project are dedicated to raising awareness not only on the UMKC campus, but also is in the Kansas City community. One thing I’ve learned is that domestic violence affects everyone- whether you’re a woman, man, transgender, or a celebrity, but most of the victims are women. According the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 85 % of domestic violence victims are women. Statistics shows that one in every four woman will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. This month we do not only want to raise awareness but also encourage victims with some tips to break their silence as well.
- DON’T believe the “excuses”
“You pushed me to hurt you. I told you to leave me alone when I get like that and you wouldn’t listen.”
“If you just had not dressed so provocatively I would not have gotten jealous and hurt you.”
“I’m just trying to take care of you by telling you what to do. I control you because I care about you.”
“I’m really stressed out right now. You should understand. I hurt you because I was under stress.”
There is NO EXCUSE for abusing another person and there is no GOOD reason. Domestic violence is NOT okay, so do not allow abusers to lay the blame for their choices onto you because you’re not responsible for it and it’s never you fault.
- You’re NOT alone
Yes, many women have been abused but many women are also SURVIVORS. Actress Robin Givens was abused by her husband Mike Tyson and is now encouraging women to break the silence:
“I want to say to any woman out there – zero tolerance. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you read his BlackBerry, I don’t care if you yell too loud, I don’t care if you have a big mouth. I don’t care. There’s never any reason for a man to hit you. It is unacceptable. I want to say to any woman out there you are not alone. And to all the young women listening, you just deserve good love, and a good life, and to love yourself and to feel worthy.”
- There are resources available to HELP you!
There are resources available to help you get out of the situations. The Violence Prevention and Response project (816-235-1652), Rose Brooks (816-861-6100) and MOSCA ( 913-642-0233) are some of the resource available for victims in our community.
Visit and like the UMKC Violence Prevention and Response Project Facebook to get updates on how we’re raising awareness in this community.