Monday, March 8, 2021
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The Halloween Rule

As a kid, there was nothing better than walking in the door as an innocent princess zombie and dumping your pillowcase full of candy onto the living room floor. Halloween was and still is a glorious time, but in a completely difference sense.

I used to love Halloween because of the costumes and the process of creating them, mine were typically outrageous. One year, several of my friends and I dressed up as kitchen appliances: a stove, a dishwasher and a refrigerator. It was both creative and kid friendly.

As the years progressed, Halloween started becoming more and more of a challenge. Trick or treating went out the window once I hit high school and crazy, absolutely legal parties took its place. One thing that never seemed to change was the idea of dressing up.

The movie “Mean Girl”s ruined Halloween costumes for me. The famous quote, “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total s—- and no other girls can say anything about it,” has become a tragic reality.

It’s ridiculous the number of sexy cats, bad cops and hot nurses that will show up to the average college Halloween Party. As someone who finds these costumes absurd and comical, I typically like to sit back and observe while silently judging with an awful feeling that a lot of fathers are having trouble sleeping that night. However, seeing as this is my first year in college and the possibilities are endless, I’ve decided to partake in this farcical monstrosity.

If at all possible, I like to keep things fairly modest – partly because it’s cold outside and no matter how alluring that girl half-naked in mouse ears may be, she’s probably freezing. So, to keep to the idea of dressing indecently while still maintaining my integrity, I’ve turned myself into a Tinder profile – the sad excuse for a dating app. However, I did tweak both my name and my age, to properly mimic how most Tinder profiles are.

A costume that embraces the “Mean Girls” rule while keeping all parts of me covered. When my mother asked me what I was going to be for Halloween I simply told her, “A hookup profile.” She didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did. As girls dress up in their provocative revealing outfits, I shall dress up in one that stands for the image they are portraying. No matter what people think, if we are applying the “Mean Girls” philosophy I can be whatever I want to be and no other girls can say anything about it. Stay classy UMKC.

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