Monday, March 8, 2021
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The confused chicken

“Removing Chick-fil-A from the campus would show that [UMKC] is sensitive to the needs of LGBTQI students and wants to make an environment where everyone feels appreciated and welcomed.”

That is the statement I made for U-News’ article last week on Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay activities.

Judging from this statement, you probably assume that I am a socially conscious and politically savvy young homosexual with a passion for social responsibility.

Perhaps you imagined me saying it while wearing secondhand, organic cotton pants while passing out sandwiches to the homeless with a rainbow twinkle in my eye.

The truth, however, is much different from this fantasy.

In reality, I am quite lazy. I try to live in a responsible manner, but only in a half-assed way.

In fact, before this article (and various others from national news outlets) was conceived, before people across the nation were suddenly aware that Chick-fil-A was not so gay friendly, I ate their damn chicken at the beginning of the semester.

I would like to say this was done in ignorance, but it wasn’t.

I knew Chick-fil-A donated chicken to “pro-family” religious right activities. I knew their Winshape Foundation catered exclusively to heterosexuals. I knew that their CEO makes regular donations to Focus on the Family. I knew all of this and I ate the chicken.

Why? Because it’s pretty tasty.

There is little that compares to Chick-fil-A chicken: it stands head and feathers above the competition. Plus its convenient placement in the Student Union makes it especially tempting. Let’s face it, Chick-fil-A is way better than Sub Connection.

The choice to eat these fried pieces of nuggety goodness was a seemingly bad one for another reason as well: for the past year I’ve been watching my weight (and have lost a total of 50 lbs). While this might seem like the wrong decision, it actually fit into my diet regim, which I like to call the “half-ass diet.”

The concept for this plan is simple: give it 50 percent of your effort.

It will take twice as long to lose the weight, but you will be more likely to stick with the plan. Some days I exercise, other days I don’t; sometimes I eat healthy home-cooked meals while occasionally I grab pizza.

We live in a culture that is increasingly telling us we have to give it “all or nothing.”

If we can’t give something our all, we just don’t bother.

People want to save the animals, but don’t want to make a lifelong meat-free commitment so they never go without meat.

People want to save the earth, but they can’t afford a hybrid so they don’t bother “going green.”

What everyone is failing to realize is that just an ounce of effort will still make a big impact. Yes, I may have eaten those homophobia-tainted nuggets, but that doesn’t mean that the activism I do on behalf of LGBT people is in vain.

I can continue to make responsible decisions…when I feel like it.

mdavis@unews.com

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