In the past, my deal breakers when it came to dating would be traits such as anger issues or addiction problems. However, with our political climate becoming increasingly polarized, politics has become one of my top deal breakers.
Now, it is not about saying whether you are a Democrat or a Republican—it is the values you choose to support by choosing a side that gives me a better impression of who you are as a person and what you strongly believe in. The foundation of a relationship, to me personally, should be built with similar values that both of you already bring to the table, and that is why I would not date someone who has opposing political views.
As a woman, I would be ashamed of myself if I chose to date someone who feels indifferent about women’s rights. Don’t get me wrong, society has made huge progress when it comes to women’s rights. However, with women only making 79 cents for every dollar a man makes, it is safe to say we’re not that equal to men after all.
Furthermore, this number is lower if you belong to a minority group. Our gender should not dictate the value we add to the workforce, and this is one issue I am strongly passionate about and that I would want my significant other to believe in as well. His belief in this will reflect the ideology that a woman’s worth is not lower than a man’s and will indicate he views me as an equal, which is important to me and the relationship.
Being an LGBTQIA+ ally and a person who has multiple friends who identify as LGBTQIA+, I cannot even begin to imagine dating someone who believes LGBTQIA+ people do not deserve rights or that homosexuality is a sin. Love is love, and everyone deserves to experience the feeling of love and being loved by someone, regardless of gender or sexuality. A person who is homophobic will definitely not get along with me, as I pride and value the art of spreading love and creating a safe place of acceptance for my friends.
With respect to gun control, it upsets me when I read the news and find another article about a shooting. I believe modifying gun control policies will ensure more innocent lives are not lost in mere minutes. The people who have lost their lives due to a shooting will not experience the ups and downs of life or reach major milestones, such as graduating high school or getting married. This is simply not fair. My heart aches at the mere thought of knowing the people who lost their lives to shootings were just going about their day and living their lives normally. Dating someone who does not believe gun control will reduce the number of shootings is simply out of the question. For 20 children to lose their lives during the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, and for you to still believe change does not need to happen simply shows we have very different empathy levels.
Now, with all that being said, this does not mean I have not tried talking and getting to know men with different political views compared to me. I have given it a shot, but realized it simply does not work for me. These men usually view me as a token Indian woman whom they can cite as an example to prove they are not racist. I’ve been met with multiple microaggressions from these men and will not subject myself to date someone if they are ignorant or disrespectful when it comes to my culture and identity.
I consider myself a passionate person when it comes to issues I believe in and often use writing as an outlet to express them. I want a supportive significant other who will read work I’ve written and engage in a healthy discussion about it instead of cherry-picking quotes from my work and turning our conversations into debates. So, I hate to break it to you, but if we have opposing political views, the only action you will be getting is me being repelled.