Monday, March 8, 2021
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Going squirrelly

While most people adore the cute, tiny creatures that nibble on nuts and come nearly close enough to touch while on campus, my views are different.

Squirrels, the little vermin, are quite high on my hit list. Maybe it is because I was a cat or a bird in a past life when the squirrels terrorized me, or maybe I just hate that everyone loves them. Either way, I can’t see a squirrel without wanting to hunt it down and trap it.

Killing it, well that might be out of range for a girl who normally loves animals of every type. As long as it’s out of my sight, not annoyingly nibbling or hopping about (yes, they hop), then I should be alright.

The next time a squirrel is near enough, chase it up a tree. When it squeaks and squawks at you from its perch up there, look and see how cute it no longer is. From stealing food from the birdfeeders, to snatching strawberries from the garden, to making me slam on my brakes in the middle of the road to avoid hitting them, these little creatures are nuisances in my life.

Nibble away while you can, little squirrels. I’ll be watching.

mheiman@unews.com

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