Inevitable Goodbyes

So here I am… my time with school is over in Granada. I still have 4 days before I actually am forced to return to the United States, but everything about leaving is starting to hit hard. I have been laying in bed reading Eat, Pray, Love basically all day and each time I turn the page, Elizabeth Gilbert makes some comment about the beauty, the people, the food and the sheer amazement she feels in each new city and I can’t stop reading because she is overtly putting into words each complicated feeling that I am having.

The past 6 weeks I have been in a program with 25 people. We have been traveling together, in class together, in the same city together and yesterday people started leaving to go home and everything came crashing down. The reality that we all have to go home sent me spiraling. This entire trip I have been saying that I am not ready to come home and now it is more true than ever. When the first students started to leave I couldn’t understand how easy they made it look, they just waltzed out of their last day of class and went on home to pack their bags. I started to panic, I’m not ready to waltz away and pack up anything. I feel like there is still so much for me to do and so much to see. My problem is, I don’t know how to start. Like I said earlier, I have been laying in bed reading Eat, Pray, Love all day. I feel the intense need to get out into the city, but each time I think about it, I start to feel overwhelmed by the thought that this could be the last time I see _____ in Granada I finally realized that I am pushing off the inevitable goodbyes to each beautiful part in this city. I am not ready to say goodbye to the cobblestone streets, the bitter orange trees, the fountains, the amazing architecture on each and every building, the churros con chocolate, and even the buses. The bad part is that this list is the things that will be easier to say goodbye to, I can’t even begin to think about saying goodbye to the friends from my program and the other programs, the teachers who have been with us every step of the way, and above all my amazing host family. All I can say is that I promise that I will be back one day, Granada. Now it is time for me to start the inevitable and go see some more of this marvelous city.

Emma Cleaveland is a sophomore at the University of Missouri-Kansas City studying Communications. Emma is spending the summer term abroad on the faculty-led UMKC Spanish Program in Granada, Spain.

Student blog entries posted to the Roos Abroad Blog may not reflect the opinions and recommendations of UMKC Study Abroad and International Academic Programs. The blog is intended to give students a forum for free expression of thoughts and experiences abroad in a respectful space.