O., on July 25, 1938
Dear Mr. [Nordhoff]!
No one could have brought me a happier greeting this morning than you did with your cathartic message. Because I know that you are out of danger; you can finish healing on your own. How good that you still have 14 days at your disposal. Use it well! I am now so happy and thankful.
„Oh, if only we had gone together at the same time, perhaps this wouldn’t have happened,“ you wrote in your last letter – and if only it could have been. I would have spared no effort to make you well, without letting them notice anything at home. Or would you not think I was capable?
Yesterday, I embroidered well into the evening. I was only able to do one piece. Today, I went outside with a blanket right after morning coffee. I went pretty far, on the way to B., I found a spot in a meadow between the corn fields; basked in the sun — and contemplated. This afternoon you were to have met me in Goslar at 12:15. Now perhaps we would have been having our first walk around town. It doesn’t bother me, though, you may believe that. I want for nothing. I am just so happy, since I know you are out of danger.
I walked the same path as today in April of this year. What a wretched mood I was in. I was at the end of my wits with everything. I still remember how long I stood at the pond — then the snow began to drift.
Everything was so peaceful and quiet today. The forest seems a dear friend to me when I take a look at it. It has observed everything this entire time; the joy — the suffering. When I think about having to leave this place, even if it were only the compulsory six months of Labor Service. I believe I would have to summon all of my strength to persevere.
It would also be somewhat difficult for you to bid farewell to everything in B.; even though you are used to moving because of your profession. It will perhaps not be as rough for you as it would be for your parents. After such time, I can’t easily imagine an about face. Yet something like that is required from your father. Now you have farther to go from L. By the way, I just remembered that I could not have accepted your previous suggestion that I could also take my vacation at your landlady’s in L. I forgot that the Gründer family has been spending their vacation there since the beginning of the holiday. They would have been really puzzled if they had come across me there. And quite frankly – I would not have a good conscience in front of them.
It’s fine with me for us to meet in Dresden on Sunday. But only if you are healthy and cheerful, do you hear? I already read a little bit of my book. Should I bring it? It seems almost like a story that I read by Theodor Storm called „Immensee,“ but I only vaguely remember the style.— I will go to the school library (to pick up Friedmann Bach) when the holiday is over, as there will be no one there now.
Now I am going to get some fresh air and, as long as it is still nice, to have a strenuous swim. Most of all, I am looking forward to going to sleep, from 8 in the evening until 7 in the morning! I wish you well and send you best wishes, also from my parents,
Allow me to share the happiness with you, I found it outside this morning.