By K
ara Lewis
You’ve probably seen a lot of “me too” posts on Facebook, Twitter and other social media channels this week.
In case you missed it, actress Alyssa Milano popularized the movement Sunday night online, tweeting, “Suggested by a friend: If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.” However, it’s important to note that Tarana Burke, a black activist and feminist, actually founded this crusade two years ago (Whew… this could be a whole separate blog post, honestly).
However, despite confusion over the idea’s origins, it quickly caught on: “Me too” trended on nearly every social platform, and The New York Times and CNN both covered the phenomenon. Milano’s tweet amassed 47,000 comments.
Yet I can’t help but feel conflicted about the message. As powerful as it was to see “me too” flood my Facebook feed, I and many others won’t be joining in posting these words.
Simply put, women shouldn’t have to relive their experiences with assault and harassment to “raise awareness.” We live in a country where the one in five statistic, sometimes upped to one in four—representing how many women will be raped in their lifetimes—is widely known. “Me too” attempted to reveal a huge problem, but let’s be real: This issue hasn’t been hidden. Rather, like the recently exposed sexual assault and harassment perpetuated by Harvey Weinstein, it’s long been an open secret.
In fact, the “me too” cry seems to echo the reasoning of men who say they became more enraged about sexual assault after having a daughter. Yes, it can be shocking and emotional to find out your best friend, family member, former colleague or other Facebook connection survived sexual violence—but that shouldn’t be what it takes to fuel anger and disappointment.
Furthermore, posting “me too” can put the burden on survivors to answer uncomfortable questions, respond to doubts, and mediate family or friends’ devastated reactions.
Though on a small scale, the “me too” trend represents how much of our own energy and emotional labor women put in to combat sexual assault. Who’s supporting and working with us? This time, a like, share, or emoji isn’t enough.