By Morgan Elyse
Feminists have come a long way in advancing women’s rights and equity in today’s American society. Obviously, some major kinks still remain to be worked out such as the stigma attached to women in cases of gender violence, equal pay in the workforce, and a woman’s choice in certain areas of healthcare, just to name a few. But something else remains a somewhat unspoken about topic, something a little more superficial – whether or not a woman should dye her hair upon going gray.
A few months ago, my significant other pulled from my head what he’d thought was a piece of fishing line; instead, it turned out to be this thick, white, gnarly looking strand of hair sticking straight up from my scalp. So I did what any perfectly sane woman would do: I stuck it in a plastic sandwich bag and slapped a date on it! Now, I can recall, at any time, the date on which my body started showing physical signs of aging. As time passes, my gray is becoming more and more prevalent and this has really gotten me thinking about whether or not to dye my hair.
Aside from the fact that the chemicals are terrible for you, I really would like to let my body do what it naturally wants. I should be proud of who I am and everyone should accept me that way, right? I shouldn’t have to dye my hair just to stay ahead in the world. But wait, would people think I was fake and trying to look younger? For what purposes would they think I was doing so? Would they think I was just trying to bag myself a younger beau or climb the corporate ladder? Is it that big of a deal, though? Is this level of cosmetic enhancement really any different from putting on eye shadow or lipstick? The many questions linger.
According to Aetna’s web article, The Science of Gray Hair, men start turning gray around the age of 30 and women, around 35. I’m a little premature, I guess, but Steve Martin started to gray at 17 and he’s rocked his silvery do ever since then sans Just for Men. I don’t really think the anti-gray movement is solely a women’s issue; hence the fact that Just for Men exists at all. However, I do believe there is an unsettling double standard that needs to be dealt with.
Take the Just for Men – “Touch of Gray” product for example: right on the first page of the product’s website it says, “Show you have experience, but still have energy”. Am I seriously supposed to believe that a woman would give any impression other than “experienced and listless” when showing up to work with a ‘touch of gray’ in her locks? I don’t think so, not unless she IS Hillary Clinton or she’s also dressed in a skin-tight leather get-up like Rogue or Storm from the X-men series (and that’s an entirely separate issue)! But is it really a man’s opinion we’re dodging when it comes to covering our natural color?
In 2007, TIME journalist, Anne Kreamer conducted a study using Match.com. She posted a profile with a picture of herself flaunting her gray hair and three months later, did the same after dying it brown. She reported that three times more men were interested in a date with “Anne-gone-gray” rather than “Anne-hidden-away”. So when it comes to love, we really are appreciated more when we remain true to ourselves. Then, what is it exactly that drives us women to cover up what is part of the beautiful, natural us?
Just as it controls our ideas of proper size and weight does the media also dictate the color of our hair? Sure it does! Just as the magazines and television ads tell us which clothes to wear and which mascara to buy because what we were born with just isn’t good enough! Honestly, I would have to Google “women in Hollywood with gray hair” to even try to name one. So I did – and Kate Moss (only one under 40) did show up in the results with a stylish streak on the runway! Way to go, Kate (if it wasn’t actually dyed that way on purpose)!
Now how about the rest of us? I know I’m not a super model; could I get away with it? What if my gray is not placed as stylishly as Ms. Moss’ when it comes through all the way? What about other late 20’s-early 30’s women who are finding unwieldy, scraggly, silvery hairs on their heads right now? Should we pluck them or cover them if they become too numerous for the plucking? Should we dye our hair forever, or just until we’re 60ish, because, let’s be honest, there does come a certain age where it’s painfully obvious one needs to permanently toss the box of Clairol!
I will be turning 30 this coming February. I look forward to the date because, for me, it holds a certain sense of establishment in the world – I feel as though the age of 30 will be my true forerunning moment in that journey through adulthood to becoming accepted, unquestionably, as a woman with experience, knowledge, wisdom, and integrity. So why then am I even contemplating dying my hair? Why should any woman feel the consideration necessary?
I understand that some women use hair color just because they like to, because looking pretty on the outside does make a girl feel beautiful on the inside. I also know that some women feel the need to cover their gray because it is better for business; whether it reads better to clients that ‘she’s up to date’ or to her colleagues and boss that she’s ‘just as energetic and fun as the 20-somethings in the office’ and in this I see an issue. An aging woman should seem just as ‘distinguished’ as a man in the business world when she shows her natural color. Instead, sometimes, she has to make the decision of whether or not she can afford to be natural. This should never, ever, ever be the case and that’s really something for society to think about.
I’m going to do more research on the subject and maybe come back in a while with a follow-up piece. There are some unanswered questions for me and perhaps some untouched upon points on the matter. I can’t say that if, upon graduation, I feel my success being threatened by my aging coif that I’d take a stand and continue to not dye my hair. However I can say, that for now, I’m going to let my true color shine through.
<3. Every. Body.